Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Must the Girl You’re with Be a Perfect Fit?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

you and your girlfriend a fitWhen it comes to choosing girls, especially for long-term relationships, how perfect a fit must a girl be? Can you be too picky, waiting for too clear a sign?

I know a guy who has these baffling (to me) relationships.

His stated objective is to find a wife.

He will find women who enter into relationships with him, whom he considers marriageable. These women talk to him about wanting something serious, tell him he's the best and most exciting guy they've been with; some of them even talk about marriage with him, or about him impregnating them.

He never moves things forward and always keeps his relationships at a kind of "casual+" level.

The women get frustrated and begin asking him what he wants with them, causing drama, telling him they cannot get a read on him and don't know what his intentions are.

He takes this as a sign their interests are not aligned, and begins having doubts / pulling back.

Eventually women break up with him in frustration, which he concludes meant they were never right for each other to begin with. Or sometimes he breaks up with them in annoyance at the drama, concluding they weren't looking for what he is.

He then begins picking up again, still looking for a wife. He's been repeating this process, over and over, for 20 years. He often says he thinks when he finds the right woman, it will just click.

With his most recent girlfriend, after she laid all her cards out on the table, told him he's the best guy she's been with in a long, long time, told him she wants a baby with him, then said she can't get a read on what he wants, his response to her was, "Well since you're not clear on what you want, we can take it day by day."

When I saw this confounding display, it got me thinking about the psychology there.

Because I have seen other men do things like this too.

And to me it's always looked inexplicable! What is a guy like this thinking, in doing things this way?

Well, it was inexplicable, until I really dug into it.

Today I'm going to talk about how people evaluate other people's wants and aims.

I'm going to talk about deciding what things someone says or wants matter vs. which don't.

Then we're going to talk about how people decide who's a fit for them -- and how they decide who isn't.

Social Skills 101: Approaching Unfamiliar People

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

approach unfamiliar peopleApproaching strangers demands a variety of social skills many people never fully develop. You need a reason to approach, to make sure you’re seen, and to be friendly, to start.

This is Part 2 of my reboot of our old 'Social Skills 101' series.

You can see Part 1, with a video breakdown of various socially unsavvy approaches, here.

In Part 2, we're going to talk about approaching strangers.

If all you want is solid social skills, stranger approach isn't completely necessary (though it is helpful). There are plenty of highly socially skilled people who aren't able to approach strangers.

However, I think it's good to begin with, since a.) a big part of this site is devoted to cold approach, and b.) in the event you're starting off at zero socially, as I did, to even talk to people at all you'll need to start approaching strangers.

So let's dive into approaching and opening people you don't know -- a painfully awkward, uncalibrated social situation for most (even many otherwise veteran socializers who yet never learned to approach strangers).

How to Get Out of Bad Momentum in Meeting New Women

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

bad momentum picking up girlsWhen your momentum meeting girls is lacking, your motivation will be down, and your effectiveness won’t be as high. How do you get out of that and back to high momentum again?

Hey guys, and welcome back!

This post is about getting back in shape and re-establishing high momentum meeting girls. But this post may also be useful to new players who are starting out and need a plan to proceed on their journey. This post is suited for players of all levels: beginners and pros alike. Yes, pros too! Since they also experience bad momentum at times.

Last time, we discussed the subject of low momentum. Many of you are experiencing low momentum, or rustiness, as a result of the pandemic. You may feel a bit down, a feeling that you have lost your mojo and that your “glory days” have passed. This is typical low momentum thinking, and it can be frustrating. However, we all experience low momentum at times. You can say the same about high momentum — when you feel like a living sex god and have “that vibe” that just sucks women in.

It is a pendulum effect. Sometimes you will be on the side of bad momentum; sometimes you will have good momentum.

It happens to us all: normal people and pro-seducers. It happens to me; it happens to you.

Low momentum can be frustrating, and many start feeling like “this is it” and give up. Last week’s post was motivational. We gave you reasons for not getting carried away by negative momentum and why you should put yourself together, work harder, and get out of that bad spot. It’s the period of low momentum when you learn the most and grow as a seducer.

After reading this post, you’ll see why.

You need to break down your game, focus on fundamentals, reinforce them, and fix all underlying issues.

Then you will grow stronger.

Today’s post is a step-by-step guide on how to swing back into high momentum.

Acceptance of Reality Is Necessary for Success

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

reality successThe reality of dating, romance, and female nature doesn’t always match up with the ideas you held before. But if you can accept it, you can begin to craft the life you want.

The other day I wrote an article on female bad behavior generally being rooted in skittishness, rather than outright sociopathy. I didn't pass judgment on this behavior... I did not say whether it was good or bad, justifiable or not. I simply explained it.

The response from some of the readers was resentment. It is unconscionable that women could fear these things from them, and clearly a sign a woman is a bad person if she reacts in any kind of way toward the man that the man objects to.

Here's one such response from a reader named Xander:

Article says that women is rude, disrespectful, i.e. generally bad, it is because she is afraid, insecure etc. and not because she is bad person. BUT that is exactly what makes someone bad person. I am pretty sure that good persons including women would be more understanding and empathic in order to overcome these problems. You see, there is always that claim that women shouldn’t be objectified but that is how they behave, and this article supports them. They are completely passive, do nothing besides signaling with bad behavior when they don’t like something. You see how selfish this is. And these persons surpassingly shouldn’t be considered as bad. Unless she is seriously threatened by some guy, nothing gives her right to treat him bad especially because it is not his fault why she doesn’t like him not is his fault because she is insecure, afraid etc.. That is her personality and how she deals with it shows what kind of person is she.

You can see what Xander is doing here; he isn't arguing about the reality of the article's perspective. He's simply passing moral judgment on the majority of womankind. Women, Xander says, because they sometimes reject men, are for the most part bad people.

This "me good; others bad" thinking is a normal human way to consider things. However, it stands in the way of success in your endeavors -- if, that is, success is what you're after.

Pattern Interrupt: "You're Missing Something"

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

pattern interrupt missing somethingWhen a woman gets on a high horse, here’s an easy way to interrupt the pattern she’s in: point out to her that she’s missing something.

Pattern interrupts are useful tools.

They break people out of autopilot, snap them to attention, and force them to actually consider what you're saying. Without this, people may remain tuned out, reacting rather than considering, and it can be very hard to get them to do anything other than follow along with their preprogrammed behavior.

Lately I find myself using a "missing pieces" pattern interrupt increasingly often.

It's useful when dealing with opinionated people, people with their minds made up, or people attempting to lecture you about something.

In fact, the more certain someone is in his frame, the more the "missing pieces" argument interrupts his pattern.

It's therefore an almost unique tool in that the stronger the frame control of the individual you use it on, the better it is at disrupting his frame.

How's it work? Let me show you...

Female Bad Behavior Is Often Defensive

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

female bad behaviorWhen girls act rude, dismissive, dramatic, or rejecting, it’s usually not because they’re nasty people. Usually it’s because they’re skittish about something.

When women reject a guy harshly, guys often think those women are stuck up.

When women initiate drama in a relationship, guys often think these women are big babies or control freaks.

But in actual fact women behaving badly aren't usually stuck up, babies, or control freaks.

Usually, rather, they feel scared, frightened, threatened, or unsafe.

If you can understand this simple psychological principle, the way you approach bad behavior from women changes radically.

Q&A with a Straight Male Escort

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By: Guest Contributor

straight male escortQ&A with a straight male escort: what kinds of women use escorts? What do they expect in an escort? What has escorting taught you about the opposite sex? And more…

In this guest post, a veteran (straight) male escort from the the UK's straight male escort service Gentlemen-4-Hire talks about his experiences over the last 10 years escorting.

  • What sort of female clientele do escorts get?

  • What are these women looking for?

  • Do things ever "go wrong"?

He answers these and other questions from our forum about what it's like to be an escort.

Social Skills 101: Basic Social Skills Are 100% Crucial

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

basic social skillsIt doesn’t matter how slick you look or how many great tips you’ve absorbed. Good basic social skills must come first if you wish for social success.

This is the first installment in a reboot of our old series on social skills.

Social skills are the single most crucial skill set for anyone to learn to work with other people.

We'll use dating as our vehicle to discuss these skills. Nevertheless, as you learn social skills in dating, you'll apply them to every area of your life too.

Social skills aren't deliberately taught. You don't learn them in school, except incidentally. Most people only intuitively understand social rules, and only once they've learned them.

People shun and shame those with insufficient social skills and grace.

However, you can develop these skills at any age; it just takes focus and practice.

In this series kick-off article, I'm going to show you just why social skills are so absolutely crucial.

Fixing (and Using) Low Momentum in Seduction

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

low pickup momentumAt times you’ll have low momentum in meeting, dating, and picking up girls. What can you learn during low momentum periods – and how do you get out of them?

Foreword: This post was written in 2021 during the COVID-19 pandemic. The advice offered here is universally valid, although the introduction mentions the current context. If you happen to read this post later, you may skip or skim the introduction.

Hey guys, and welcome back!

As the nightlife is gradually reopening around the world, many (myself included) are starting to go out again. It can be difficult to get back “in field” and go out and meet girls again. We’ve been deprived of social interactions for so long... Many were locked up in our flats, not being allowed to socialize!

Obviously, it’s taken a toll on our skill and momentum. We feel a bit off, uncomfortable, unsmooth, and we probably are. The advice surrounding negative macro-momentum still applies. It is natural, and you shouldn’t take it personally. Momentum goes up and down, and feeling bad about being in low momentum will only make it worse. Just accept that you may be in a rough spot (back in June 2021, I was too), and plow your way back to former glory! It took me a month; it may take longer for you.

One thing takes a big hit when you’re facing low momentum: your opening and hook game. Strategic choices and escalating the vibe will also be affected, but these happen after you’ve opened and hooked the girl, which means you will feel more comfortable interacting with her. Remember that most social discomfort and “lack of vibe” disappear when you are comfortably hooked into an interaction.

For this reason, I will dedicate one of my following posts (in two weeks or so) to a checklist of good openers so you can use them to practice your opening phase if you struggle with that. You cannot practice other skills (hooking, isolating, escalating) or get laid (unless you get a hail mary) if you can’t open girls.

Winning the Tug-of-War for a Girl in a Venue

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

In this video, two guys go head-to-head for a cute, horny club girl. One of them wins, and presumably gets the lay, while the other of them (painfully) loses:

This video's titled as "guy gets his girl friend stolen in under 3 minutes" but the girl's clearly not his girlfriend. I'll tell you what the apparent dynamic actually is below. Also, while the video only takes three minutes, the process itself clearly took longer than that. Again, I'll tell you roughly how long it likely took below.

However, to introduce this piece, let me say I've been in very similar situations myself a number of times over the years. Both several times on the losing end as a beginner, and then more times on the winning end once I earned my chops.

In this article, we'll examine the tactics used by both seducers in the above video.

We'll also talk about when they can work and when they won't (plus why the blond white guy beat the Asian guy).