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Sex talk is a powerful seduction tool. But when the conversation gets juicy, should you do all the talking or let her chime in? Here are the factors to consider.
The other day I had a very interesting group conversation with Dan, Pablo, and Velasco about investment when delivering sex talk. They all had different perspectives based on their style (remember, they are all part of the “sexual game school”), and all were correct based on the way they do things. From their observations, we agreed that all our pointers had pros and cons.
The discussion was about whether you should do most of the talking when delivering sex talk, or get her to invest back.
My conclusion: it’s dependent on the girl and the circumstances, and also where you are in the seduction (which phase).
So, this is what I will discuss here.
First let’s briefly cover the arguments of the pros and cons of having her invest and participate rather than doing all the talking yourself.
This post is ideal for advanced players who want to add additional calibration to their verbal game. Beginners should do 60–65% of the talking, and let her do 35–40% (approximations, not rules set in stone).
We will focus mostly on sex talk, but I strongly believe it applies to any verbal game. The tips below will help create a verbal game that:
Is intriguing
Sets a strong frame
A powerful verbal game sets a sexual frame, a high social value, or can be very hypnotic. Weaker (or fluffy) verbal game is different because it is far less powerful, so it is better to have her invest more in that case, because if you are doing all the talking, it will not be as powerful. So you may as well make her invest.
Tests are something you'll never get free of with women. Because tests are an essential part of how women evaluate a man.
New man they've just met... old man they've long known... women will test both men alike, any time they feel they have any reason to at all.
You can't take testing personally, because it is not a 'personal' thing from women.
Rather, it is simply how women poke for holes in your armor. Fewer armor holes = more attractive.
Today we'll discuss a simple and effective way to deal with tests: just mirror them back.
A quality social circle does a lot for you: connects you, loves you, helps you win at life. These tips provide simple ways to join one or build one from scratch.
Some of the best times of my life were when I had a large social circle filled with awesome people.
Yes, there are benefits to being a loner, too, especially if you need to do deep work, but having an awesome social circle full of interesting people can be incredibly rewarding.
To be noted, I’m what you’d call an introvert. It’s not a crippling disorder or anything; I just like my alone time. In my coaching experience, I’ve found most men who are drawn to the seduction community are also introverted. And many use this as an excuse for not going out or having an active social circle. The result is they never get laid (without paying for it).
If this is you, that’s cool. You can be introverted, but you can also put on your extrovert hat, which metaphorically may be a flat cap or a top hat or one of those deals with a propeller on top. Whatever you have, just pick it up and try it on. Pretend to be an extrovert just to see what it feels like, what the benefits are of a more social life. Trust me, depending on the sort of group you align with, there can be many.
Somehow, despite the existence of this website, and the half million to million people who read it every month, there are apparently more men desperate for female approval than ever in recorded history.
There is an outright simp epidemic.
Is there anything sadder than a man who swallows his pride, pedestalizes the feminine, and launches limp-wristed attacks against his fellow man in a feeble attempt to curry favor with women?
Truly, there is no man more tragic than the simp.
First, here is the SIMP TEST. Watch this video, and pay careful attention to your emotions:
SIMPING IS KING SHIT CONFIRMED pic.twitter.com/B7kF1f6wfN
— Ching (@Hotline_Ching) March 10, 2020
Did you experience a sort of cognitive dissonance, and a kind of revulsion that says, "Though this woman is young and attractive, I find her oddly and off-puttingly moronic, and I also think she is lying?"
Congratulations, you are not a simp. The rest of this article does not apply to you.
However, you may want to read it anyway to make especially sure to inoculate yourself against the dangers of simp-dom.
On the other hand, if, when watching that video, did you not experience any cognitive dissonance, and instead experienced a swelling of pride? Did you feel something along the lines of, "This beautiful woman recognizes me for my superior quality?"
If so, I regret to inform you you are a carrier of SIMP.
But don't fear.
There is a cure.
If you follow my 10-step method, we can restore your testosterone levels to normal, train you to prefer manly domination over effeminate obeisance, and make you a man women actually respect and desire to sleep with (perhaps even chase), rather than one they manipulate then giggle about as he conducts himself in embarrassing fashion on their behalfs.
This seduction gambit is designed to make your girl visualize a liminal space (or bubble) in her mind, causing her to feel sexually liberated and horny.
Hey guys, and welcome back.
Today I will share another gambit that uses the concept of liminoid space that we've discussed for the last few weeks.
A liminoid space is an area within the bigger whole (culture, society, etc.) where the rules are blurred, usually leading to liberation and freethinking.
Here are the relevant articles if you want more info or a recap:
The idea with this gambit is to make her visualize such a space, adding liberated aspects to it. From there, you’ll free her sexually.
To start this off, I’ll give you an idea for a transition. Also, remember these posts illustrate how I do these gambits (my recommended version). Feel free to modify them to fit your own style and personality.
When you improve your game with women and life, some friends you keep, others you outgrow. It can be painful leaving friends in the dust, but it’s for the best.
Welcome to Part 4 of my series on how to manage your male friends as you improve your game and see more success with women!
In Part 1, we covered how the dumb and clueless man can adversely affect your seductions and your relationships. Often these guys are good friends with good intentions but make one or more dumb public mistakes around a girl you’re courting or dating that affects her view of you, and you’re left picking up the pieces and dealing with the fallout. These guys also see your girl skills as more advanced and easier than you make it out to be. They think their mistakes are minor and easy to recover from when they can severely jeopardize your frame with a woman.
In Part 2, we looked at how shady guys befriend you to use your talents with women for their own gain. These guys may befriend you with good intentions but then try to steal away the women you’re seducing. These guys usually aren’t good at approaching (but they're decent with closing), so I’ve noticed they try to steal sets that you’ve already approached, opened, and built good vibes with. A state transfer occurs, and they try to lead her to sex after you’ve done the hardest work.
In Part 3, we discussed how judgmental friends fundamentally and morally disagree with your decision to get better with women or pursue your goals with women, and shame you behind your back to the rest of your social circle when you go against their beliefs.
All are ultimately toxic friendships that hurt you more than help you stay in them.
Finally, there’s the fourth type of friend you’ll run into. This friend tends to exist more for newbies just breaking into the world of women. I’ve found experienced and intermediate men naturally stay away from these guys because they fully understand how damaging they can be to their game.
This final type is what I call “dead weight guys.” Unfortunately, they hang around as friends and also want to go out with you to pick up women but provide little to no value or effort to help, and thus hold you back.
The girl you've met at the bar you're at seems like she's just about being ready to be pulled.
"Well," you say to her, "if you've had enough socializing, let's go get that nightcap." You pause a split second. "You have to promise to be a good houseguest though," you add.
She smiles, and a light tinkle of laughter ripples out of her. "I promise," she says.
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You offer her the crook of your arm, she wraps her arm through it, and out the doors of the bar you stride, into the night together.
You see what happened there?
You skipped right over asking her to decide if she's coming with you or not... one of the most nerve-wracking moments for most guys. Instead, you asked her something else -- something easier -- to which she said "yes."
And the moment she said yes to that second, easier request, her compliance with the earlier, bigger one became automatic.
How did that work?
Well, you used a secondary compliance request (that she be a good houseguest), to obtain automatic compliance with the primary request (that she come to your house).
Neat trick, right? Let's look at it a little more in-depth.
What is a player? And more importantly, are YOU a player? Will being labeled a player have a bad impact on your dating life, or can the label actually help you?
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II. What Is a Player? The Negative Connotation
V. The Morality of Being a Player
What is a player?
Many years ago, when I was still a sniveling newbie in the dating scene, I was friends with an amazingly talented seductionist. I’ll call him Chris.
I went to a party with Chris, and a girl I recognized from work looked at me sideways and asked how I knew him. I didn’t tell her we were part of a secret society of pickup artists that met in a rented room we called a “lair” every Sunday and were out that night to practice our approach techniques.
“He’s a friend of a friend,” I replied.
“Well…” she shriveled her nose, “he’s a notorious player.”
I went back to Chris and told him he had the reputation of being a player. “Really? That’s good,” he replied, obviously pleased with the label.
Why would a seducer be pleased about being called a player?
Lately we've had a spate of guys in the comments or on the forums worried about this or that potential, hypothetical situation.
Typically these guys are not actually in the field. i.e., they are not actively approaching women and getting live experience with the opposite sex. Or, if they are, their activity levels are minimal.
Thus, these hypothetical situations are really more of a series of thought experiments for them.
And while it is good to try to get yourself some answers in advance, when you go too far into hypotheticals all you are really doing is tying yourself up.
The stuff guys get caught up worrying about when they're not active in the field tends to be stuff that they will almost never run into once they ARE active... or stuff that, if they run into it once they are active, they'll easily handle.
Or will discover is not actually that big of a deal.
Yet, because they aren't active, and are just imagining these things in their head, just like with the One Special Girl Problem™, and the Amazing Connection With A Girl You've Just Met Problem™, it is all too easy to blow things way out of proportion in their imaginations, and start fixating on stuff that is not as significant as they think -- or may not even be there at all.
