Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Sexual Disgust: How Do You Get Past It (and Should You)?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

sexual disgustSexual disgust can hold back your progress with women or wreak havoc in your relationships. Yet how do you overcome it… and SHOULD you?

A week back, on an article where I discuss a girlfriend who'd been with three men before (two boyfriends + a guy she hoped would be a boyfriend but who turned out to already have a girlfriend, unbeknownst to her), a reader commented:

Chase, I've worked hard for not feeling insecure about the girl's past. What i still do feel though, is disgust. With no intentions of insulting your girlfriend, if i had a girl like that with a past like that I'd feel utter disgust. While that girl may be considered a unicorn in ur country, i feel utter disgust. any tips on overcoming this disgust and being too damning on women??

What he's talking about is sexual disgust.

Sexual disgust is a natural - though not absolutely ubiquitous - phenomenon that occurs among both women and men. You'll see it the most by far with sexually inexperienced individuals; the more sexually experienced someone gets, the less sexual disgust is an issue for him. We'll discuss more on this below.

I want to discuss it with some sensitivity in this article, as any time the topic comes up it tends to provoke polarized responses from all sides. People low in sexual disgust regard as Puritanical those with higher sexual disgust; those high in sexual disgust view as degenerate those with lower sexual disgust.

Instead, in this piece, we'll aim for practicality:

  • What is sexual disgust?
  • Why do people have it?
  • How do you overcome it?
  • Should you overcome it... and if so to what degree?

All, I think, are worthwhile explorations. Let's have a look at each.

Best Hair Products for Sexy Male Hairdos

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

hair productsGetting a great looking male hairstyle isn’t just about the cut and the do. It’s also about the products. Here’s what shampoos, primers, sprays, creams, and more to use.

Hey guys. Today I have a different post, one I never intended to write.

It was Chase’s idea. We spoke one day, and since he and I both have long hair, we started discussing hair products that are best for long hair.

Being a bit of a fashionista myself, I’ve spent much time experimenting with different hair products. I know what works for me, and my suggestions have usually helped others.

Note that I am not a hairdresser or a barber. My expertise is pick up, seduction, social dynamics, sex, and relationships.

Yet Chase was excited discussing hair products and suggested I write about it. I was hesitant at first, but Chase can be persuasive.

Some guys in the skillseducer chat tried some of the products I recommend and had good results. So, I thought, why not?

Disclaimer #1: I am an influencer in the sense that I influence women in field. I do not receive compensation from hair product producers. I am about to suggest products that I love and have had great success with. A big corporation like L’Oreal (who owns Redken) would never use a funnel like GirlsChase to promote—they have better market funnels.

Disclaimer #2: If you think it is “gay” or “effeminate” to care about hair products, that’s fine and is your belief. Remember, the look of your hair matters. From my experience, having nice hair is more effective than having a 6-pack. We want to maximize every variable, and this is one. We do not care what is “effeminate” or “gay;” we care about what works and what will give you results with women. Also, men have more sensitive hair than women. Trust me; it is usually thicker. So, men’s hair needs more maintenance. Some men have short hair, and using the wrong clay or wax will make you look ungroomed and nasty. It will negatively affect your success.

Disclaimer #3: Some of you may have afros; some may be bald. I have Caucasian wavy hair. I have experience helping my friend Pablo, a Latino with curly hair. I have advised people with straight hair. But I do not have experience with afros. If you are bald, then shave it all away, work out, get a tan, get a nice beard, and you will look badass. However, this post is not for you.

Using high-quality hair products will reduce your chances of going bald since bad hair wax can increase hair loss. Not rinsing out styling products can also increase hair loss. So even though going bald is not the end of the world, try to do your best to keep your hair for as long as possible.

Hector Castillo's Direct Game Compared to Others

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

hector castillo directHector’s irreverent, forward, crass style of direct seems to violate all the rules of ‘good game’. Yet take a closer look, and it’s obvious how this form of seduction succeeds.

All right gents, here's the clarifying article you've been waiting for!

Since Alek Rolstad came out swinging against the stupidly-simplified "just shoot your shot" style of 'game' we're now calling 'neo-direct', readers have been asking, "But what about Hector?"

Hector's 'sexual direct' approach to seduction appears to be everything both indirect and classic direct are not: bold, immediate, in the girl's face, relentless. It seems to show all the cards to the girl and removes any hint of intrigue.

A brief review of how his approach appears to work might make you think it's little more than neo-direct wrapped up with a bit of spunk ('force of personality', perhaps?).

Alek asked me to resolve the apparent conflict between what he teaches and what Hector does, not knowing enough about what Hector is doing and not wanting to be the one to critique a colleague.

So, I had a chat with Hector to clarify some of the points I needed clarification on.

It led me down a rather enlightening path toward understanding not just Hector's game, but a better understanding of a key difference between good game and bad game, as well.

I think you will enjoy this piece!

Secrets to Getting Girls: Make Her Smile

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl smiling to sideWhen you talk to girls, it must be pleasant. You need to make them smile. That doesn’t mean be a joker, but it DOES mean be someone it’s enjoyable to talk with.

When you go out to meet women, one thing you always ought to be doing is making women smile.

I don't mean being a clown or a comedian. I don't mean you have to load them up with hammy compliments or get them retelling all their happiest memories.

I just mean that women should be smiling as they're talking to you, because they like talking to you, because talking to you is a pleasure.

Charisma Breakdown: John Wayne

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

charisma breakdown: john wayneJohn Wayne was an icon of American cinema. In this piece, we break down his charisma, and show what his behavior and the behavior of others around him says about his characters.

We're gearing up to rerelease my course on charisma, Charisma in a Bottle.

In advance of the rerelease, I thought I'd do some 'charisma breakdowns' on a variety of leading men and other figures where we look at clips of the man and discuss what he does that makes him so charismatic.

Our focus will be on nonverbal (fundamentals-based) charismatic signals he puts out, social signals, and some of the charismatic subtext in his verbal communication.

To kick off the series, I'd like to start with John Wayne.

All Women Are Like That

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

all women are like thatWomen debate the morality of an extramarital affair while married to a man you don’t love. Why do different women view things differently?

I had a girlfriend tell me about a hornet's nest she kicked in the comment section of some gal's blog online.

Usually this girlfriend would read economics blogs and watch university lectures on philosophy. But she was into psychology as well, and sometimes she'd read blogs written by women chronicling their messy lives and tempestuous love affairs on a women's private blogging site.

One day, the female writer of some blog she'd been following entered her latest update. This writer had a loving, devoted husband, who was much more in love with her than she was him. The guy did a lot for her. Meanwhile the writer complained about how annoying her husband was and talked about how she did not love him back. There was a man she'd known whom she'd been in-love with in the past, but he'd moved away to care for his dying parents. Eventually he returned and the writer and he met up, the writer seduced him, and they started sex. He only got a few thrusts into her before her period started though and they ended the sex, the writer deeming it 'fate'.

This kicked off a variety of opinions from the female blogger's followers in the comment section. Some women cheered her on. Some women expressed confusion over why she'd cheat on a good and loyal husband. Other women asked why she was with her husband in the first place if she didn't love him.

My girlfriend, a hothead (most of my girlfriends are), dashed off an annoyed comment explaining to one of the confused women that, "That's just how she is. She is going to keep going back to that man, and then she is going to have a full affair with him, and she will never tell her husband." Then she wrote to the writer "Just tell your husband! Just tell him, divorce him, be brave, and be with the man you want!"

Then she added a little zinger at the end implying she knew the writer would never do this and would instead continue the affair in secret behind the trusting husband's back.

This kicked the hornet's nest, and a flurry of outraged women rode to the blog writer's defense, slinging mud at my girlfriend in ferocious defense of the mercurial writer's tempestuous lifestyle, beginning a day of exasperated reading and responding by my tenacious girlfriend.

How REAL Direct Game Works... Compared with Neo-Direct

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

real direct vs. neo-directReal direct game has a lot of nuance and flavor that overly simplistic “neo-direct” lacks. What are the differences? All spelled out for you to see.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Last week I shared the history behind direct game and how it came to fruition. I countered common issues beginners often faced with indirect game back in the day. Direct game developed to respond to these issues:

  • Indirect game caused auto-rejections if done uncalibrated and incorrectly (by going too far or not showing interest when warranted). On the other hand, direct game solved this issue by being direct.

  • Girls who do not have a minimum threshold of interest can show mixed signals from the get-go. This required the man to convey attractive traits to spike interest before they get her to chase. Direct game solved this issue by screening out those girls who did not have this small initial spark of interest.

  • Many beginners back in the day suffered from being friend-zoned by women due to too much passivity and the fear of sexualizing the interaction since sexualizing was synonymous with escalation, which means showing interest. Due to the fear of showing too much interest (the dogmas of indirect game say to show interest sparingly/don’t show too much interest), many men ended up with escalation anxiety. Direct game took a shortcut to solve this issue since the contradiction between escalating (showing interest) and “don’t show any interest” disappeared as direct game vouches for showing interest.

As you can see, many issues were solved with the surge of direct game.

Today, we will see how the good old-school direct game is NOTHING like neo-direct game, now all over the internet. Neo-direct game says you should approach any girl out of the blue and hope for the best, with little or no pickup tech, frame control, or calibration. This is not direct game.

Let’s discuss what the old-school direct game really is. It is nothing like neo-direct game with its terrible ratios, over-simplistic, and inefficient tools. Direct game is a well-thought-out and complex method with many strengths.

FYI: Yes, I have experience with direct game. I have read plenty of material by direct gamers, and I have also known direct gamers who were good.

Tactics Tuesdays: Negging vs. Complimenting

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

negging vs. complimentingBoth compliments and negs are part of a quadrant, but few men use them right. Most use the OTHER (far less effective) side of the quadrant: flattery and insults.

I want to talk about a dichotomy today I've not seen spelled out anywhere:

That is negging vs. complimenting.

Most guys in the community these days have largely abandoned both: they won't neg and they won't (or only poorly) compliment. Yet both tools can be quite powerful... when used correctly.

Much like many things in this space, both have fallen prey to misuse and recategorization as several waves of unskilled seducers have clumsily attempted to adopt these seduction tools, giving both bad names in the process.

This article isn't necessarily a re-taking of these; I have one coming on compliments soon that I think will give you a different perspective from both the neo-direct "simple direct flattery-based compliments" style and the more indirect "don't compliment her much/at all" style.

However, in the meantime, I wanted to make a quick piece detailing the 'quadrant' negs and compliments lie on... and give you a better idea about how and when to use each.

Available vs. Unavailable

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

available vs. unavailableHow available can you make yourself with women? When do you become too available… vs. too unavailable? Use the 4 availability questions to balance your availability.

In seduction and in relationships, there are times it's more helpful to be available to a woman, and times it's more helpful to be unavailable.

Most guys err too far toward one side or the other.

You have for instance the typical nice guy, who makes himself as available as possible to women. Because he is so absolutely available, women don't respect his time, or him, for that matter. He ends up in the "he's nice but he's just not my type" category.

Then you have the guy who understands the game a little better but is too absolute in making himself unavailable. He gives women only slivers of availability and shuts off the availability tap on a moment's notice. This guy gets called 'dick', 'asshole', 'jerk'... though he does get the girl more often than the overly available nice guy. However he still misses out on a lot of women too annoyed at him or who have already quickly moved on when he made himself unavailable.

So what you want is not to be too available, nor too unavailable.

You want to be in the Goldiocks zone of availability: just available enough, while still being scarce.

What's that look like though?

How Did Direct Game Pickup Grow So Popular?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

direct game pickupIt seems like every guy runs direct game on the girls he meets these days. But how’d direct get to be so popular? It wasn’t always so…

Hey guys.

So today I wanted to share some clarifications on a subject I have discussed in-depth in 2021: namely the whole “direct versus indirect game” subject.

If you have been following my posts over the past year, you should know by now that I am a strong believer in indirect game – namely the type of seduction where you do not reveal your cards (your interest) until she has shown some interest first.

This entails that you must keep her knowledge of your interest in her ambiguous until you manage to build some compliance (or call it “build attraction”). Once you have managed to do exactly that, you will get signs of interest in return, at which point you can reciprocate and show interest back. The amount of interest you show in return depends on how much interest she shows you; you more or less calibrate accordingly at all times.

There are forms of indirect game that are more passive (indirect) than others… yet in strong opposition comes this new trend of neo-direct game, which is all about expressing your interest in her right away. The cat is out of the bag – she knows you want her, and you’ve just got to try to make it happen by convincing her that you are a great potential lover.

Already there we can see how the frame is totally off!

She is now in power… since you are clearly the one chasing her.

She has a higher perceived sexual market value and therefore she gets to dictate the terms. Here she can set very high expectations in terms of her standards. This is how you end up facing highly inflated standards – or rather, that is when you become a guy who gets to deal with those high standards, since men who did not give her all that power will not be facing those high expectations because they never allowed the other party (her) to set them in the first place.

This is exactly what I discussed in my previous post. There I discussed how this neo-direct game, where you constantly show interest from A to Z without ever keeping your level of interest in her ambiguous, without ever showing any mixed signals, and sometimes without ever using compliance-building techniques… or if those were used, they were only used sparingly.

It is easy to conclude from my previous post that indirect game is the solution to the problems that stem from simping and dealing with women’s inflated standards (which we saw only come fully into play when you allow her to express them by setting a frame that gives her the power to do so).

I wouldn’t rush to such a conclusion though. Now, I have in the past been very harsh towards direct game. This is due to two reasons:

  1. The surge of poorly done direct game or this overly direct form of direct game (neo-direct game) leading to cringe interactions between men and women. These cringe results led me to wanting to debunk it fully.

  2. I personally still believe indirect game is better – that is… (and I may be biased here) because it gives you a better meet-to-lay ratio, since you will have a chance to get some girls you wouldn’t get otherwise (that is, compared to using a non-indirect form of game: that is, direct game).

But this does not mean that direct game used the right way is necessarily bad. This may seem contradictory to things I have said about it in the past. But I need to do a mea culpa. Everything I said in those posts still holds true, in the sense that keeping your levels of interest in her ambiguous is the way to go because it gives you:

  • More compliance
  • Smoother interaction
  • A more solid frame – thus more control

All this still stands.

But this does not mean all direct forms of game contradict all these aspects.

This post is meant to give you guys a clarification on this issue.

In this post, I intend to discuss how this trend of neo-direct game came to be, going through the history of the seduction community. I want to tell you why and how direct game came to life and why and how it eventually turned into neo-direct game.

In my next post, I will pay homage to the good old school direct game – the one that truly worked. If you are a fan of direct game, you will love my next post.