Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Use Plausible Deniability to Get Her to Leave with You

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

how to get her to leave with you
Women often resist going home with you because they don’t want to appear slutty. To bypass this issue, all she needs is plausible deniability, which you can provide.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I want to discuss a phase that many men struggle with: the extraction phase. It’s a phase prone to resistance and also the time you get an indication of whether you have successfully built compliance and dealt with her resistance even though other factors like mood changes, wildcards, and logistical factors may pop up at the last minute.

Therefore, I consider this phase important to master. You may get lucky, things may go smoothly, and she goes home with you without you delivering a tight game. But that is simply pure luck, and you cannot rely on this.

You must always try to go for the extraction, whether you feel the vibe is perfect or subprime. The number one reason men do not get laid consistently is that they do not make an invitation for it. They do not try to get the girl to leave with them; they do not try to extract.

Some guys may be too nervous about doing it, or it could be they want to protect their ego and not take the chance to ruin the connection. It feels so much better for your ego to leave a girl, falsely believing you could have banged her. But the truth is, if she did not leave with you, there is no “could have banged her.” You either bang her or you don’t. If you do not try to extract, you will never know.

So, always be extracting.

Even if the vibe is not right, and closing time is near, it is better to just go for it. You never know. Maybe she is an easy one; maybe she is not that into you. She might just decide that it is late and wants to have fun. You don’t know unless you try.

So, always be extracting.

In the past, I’ve discussed how to extract and get her to leave with you. I have also gone over how to go to a girl’s place (the system is very similar, just a few tweaks added).

Here’s the system:

  • Reach a high note (generate compliance, reach a peak in emotions and compliance, and strike)

  • Give a reason to leave (“It’s so loud in here.”)

  • Find an excuse to go back to your place (“Do you like wine? Ah, good, let’s get back to my place and continue this conversation.”)

  • Lower the pressure (“I don’t live far away.”)

  • Persist (back off, build more compliance, handle potential resistance)

  • Try again if you fail (persistence)

This template applies here as well and is probably the standard model most would agree with.

What we will discuss today is how to use plausible deniability to aid your extraction.

We’ve examined this subject before, but I want to give my take on it and add some key points.

A Little Vulnerability Is Okay, but How Much Should You Reveal?

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

how to show vulnerability
Insecurity and vulnerability are not the same thing. Women run from insecurity but find a little vulnerability endearing. So how much should you show her?

As I discussed in my last article, anxiety is very bad for your endeavors with women. End of story!

Unfortunately, women perceive anxiety as a weakness, and often revealing the anxiety to women can cause them to lose all attraction for you. Now the key here is in revealing anxiety. Everyone feels anxious once in a while, some more than others. Sometimes anxiety is genetic, and it’s within a person’s persona to feel anxious periodically.

However, just because you feel anxiety doesn’t mean you have to reveal it to anyone. More importantly, even when women see you’re feeling anxious, it doesn’t mean you have to reveal the true source of your anxiety to them!

Notice I said when. Women are naturally super sensitive to a guy’s vibe; by instinct, women are fully sensitive to human vibes. Think of the bond and senses women have to take care of and raise babies, even before the age of technology, farming, and civilization. It’s important to note that women can transmute another human’s emotions. You can transfer a sexual state from yourself to a woman if you let her feel allowed and if she actively follows your lead and dominance!

If you feel anxiety in the presence of a woman, she’s going to feel it. If you’re prone to frequent anxiety, you’ll inevitably feel anxiety at some point with a woman. For some guys, it’s feeling anxious on the approach, and this can mess up their approach vibe every time! Some get nervous about the first date. And for other guys, it can be about what to do with her when they get her home. For the longest time, I struggled with last-minute resistance and got anxious in the moment right before sex.

No matter what, if you feel anxiety, you can bet that she’ll feel it, too.

The good news is that you can change the source of anxiety over time. What makes you anxious can go away with concerted effort and practice by putting yourself in front of the anxiety-inducing situation and succeeding over and over. This is sure to change your body’s perception of what was previously a threat. And I can attest that it works. Unlike before, these days, I get super excited and horny when I have a girl at home.

In the meantime, you need to figure out how to be vulnerable in the right way when your anxiety comes up.

How to Transition to Touch in the Middle of a Seduction

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

touch seduction
It's ideal to introduce touch very early in a seduction. And if you don't right away, you need to do so eventually. These tips will help you transition smoothly.

Let’s say you are at a social event, and you are hitting it off with a girl. She’s laughing at all your jokes, touching your arm now and then, and staying with you as the night goes on. Everything is going great; she’s giving you all the signs she likes you and is following your lead. But under the surface, you can sense she is still a bit cautious. You know you are meant to shift the level of intimacy forward but aren’t quite sure how to change the tone without her backing off.

So how can you make sure she likes you and set down the foundations for physical contact without scaring her away?

Turning things physical is foundationally one of the most critical areas in seduction because it is the “execution” phase of a seduction. In theory, a seduction can look good, but as you execute your actions, the reality may not match your intuition. The difficulty in changing how much you are touching each other comes from the dual nature of physical contact; it can be alarming and make a girl feel threatened, or it can be soothing and make her feel like she is where she wants to be.

The reasons for this dual nature are complicated. I will help you navigate them better, because if you can improve your transitions into physical intimacy, it will improve every aspect of your interactions with women.

Tactics Tuesdays: Dealing with "Give Me X!"

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

give me that
Whether she's got an attitude or she's just not good with people, sometimes a girl make demands. How you handle her demands sets your courtship's tone.

If you go out enough, from time to time you'll face girls with attitude.

You'll also face girls who are socially uncalibrated, and girls with low EQs (emotional quotients).

Any of these girls, whether to show attitude or because she just isn't calibrated enough to know otherwise, will sometimes make demands of you.

Demands like "Give me a napkin" in a voice tone that's demanding and not sweet, and in an impolite way without a 'please' attached.

It's a small thing, but how you respond to these impolite impositions can set the tone for later parts of your courtship.

You must respond in a useful way.

Do You Only “Think” She’s Out of Your League?

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

she's out of my league
Why do you think she’s out of your league? Is it because she really is, or is it because you’ve put her there for no good reason?

Most guys who immerse themselves in pickup theory are looking to date up, not down. They want the women they’ve fantasized about, and they won't settle for less.

That’s why I got into this stuff. I was so incredibly insecure that just talking to a pretty girl would trigger a panic attack. Then if I found the guts to approach a girl (I rarely did), I’d stutter, sweat, and say ridiculous things that made no sense.

I could stare longingly at the beautiful girls, but I had no clue how to capture their attention. And besides, they were out of my league. These girls didn’t hook up with guys like me. They went out with the popular, outgoing guys, not the introverts.

 

Transformation

So as I neared my 30s and really delved into this seduction stuff, it all made sense. It wasn’t that I wasn’t good-looking enough, too short, or too low on the social ladder. I just didn’t understand the women’s point of view. I had no grasp of psychology — theirs or my own.

I spent years reading, watching videos, going out day and night to parties, social events, and did cold approaching at the mall just so I could look into a beautiful girl’s eyes in a way she’d know that I’m used to women like her. It’s no big deal. She’s safe with me.

Where men are primarily attracted to looks, women have much different attraction mechanisms. If you understand female psychology, you can use this to date women you might have considered out of your league.

You Must Fix Your 'Inner Game' (by Doing External Things)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

inner game
"Inner game" is the way you play the game on the inside. Good inner game is crucial – but the way to improve yours is not alone in a room in front of the mirror.

I had a call earlier with our director / casting director Casandra, who is always an absolute joy to talk to. Casandra was pivotal to the filming of my 'get the girl in one date' program One Date & The Dating Artisan, as well as a few other programs we're set to release in the next couple months (including my long-delayed course on personal charisma and a bachelor lifestyle, and another on touch).

On our call we discussed a new project we want to do for this lockdown situation. While we were on it, Casandra told me a rather incredible story of her own about guys she'd encountered who still had a lot of 'inner game' work to do.

The coaching I want to do is one where, rather than have a student on with a coach, then send him out between sessions to practice in the real world with women (which many guys can't do now due to the lockdown), we instead have him alternate between coaching sessions and video 'date' sessions with beautiful girls we've trained to go on these practice dates with guys so they can do what they've covered with the coach despite the lockdown.

Casandra liked the idea and we are at present setting that up (it's still going to be a week or two before I'll be able to tell you more... but if you're interested, you can fill out this form; we'll be in touch as soon as we can say more about it).

Anyway... as we talked about this, Casandra told me a story of her own, that related to the kind of thing we discussed.

A while back, she'd worked with another date coach, named Leo. Leo was helping a group of U.K. students who were 'below beginner' in romantic experience. They had very little experience with women, although Casandra said they were all "nice people, not weird or bad, they all looked normal, some were even handsome."

Leo decided to put these guys into one-on-one interactions with beautiful women to acclimate them to women like that. Casandra recruited the girls, and also joined herself.

Then came go-time. When the students started talking to the women normally, just in a normal person-to-person interaction, everything was fine.

But then, Leo told each student to imagine that he had approached his girl, that she liked him, and now he was talking to her. After Leo told the guys this, Casandra cocked her head a bit and smiled at the guy she was paired up with. Just a very cute, warm little smile (she showed me this smile. Totally harmless smile).

And her guy started crying.

A number of the guys started crying.

The moment they were asked to imagine these were girls they'd approached, they just lost it, and started bawling.

Casandra said she was shocked at the response. And honestly, while I have been in this business for 12 years, I was also a little surprised to hear this. Probably because many of the guys we get on GC are not total hard case beginners... many of them are guys who have a little dating success under their belts already and just want to up their results.

And I will say -- even when I was totally socially isolated myself (in my teens), I still had beautiful girls flirting with me or pursuing me (because I did other stuff to seem cool and attract women in). So I always felt 'entitled' to hot women.

Hearing about guys crying when faced with beautiful women they were told to imagine they'd approached got me thinking about this whole 'broken inner game' thing.

Because certainly, if a guy is starting out in a place like that, his inner game needs work.

Set a Sexual Frame by Blaming Women for Being Freaks

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

set a sexual frame
To get a girl in bed quickly, it’s vital to set a sexual frame early. These one-liners are designed to do just that, by blaming women for being sex-crazed maniacs.

Hey guys. I hope you are doing well.

Today I will share some basic one-liners that can help transition your interaction into sex talk, or at least help set a sexual frame with a girl. We all understand the value of sexualizing your interactions with women in terms of moving things toward sex.

Specifically, the benefits are:

  • You get her aroused

  • You give the interaction a sexual context, which makes her perceive you as a sexual guy

Remember, women tend to categorize men as either providers or lovers. The provider is just a good guy to keep around, providing resources like wealth, social status, social-climbing opportunities, and networking. Most of these guys get laid rarely, especially if they are lower-end providers. Higher-value providers can get laid often, but not as often as a lover. A lover is the guy women trade sex for sex with, and so he's most likely to get laid easily and quickly.

If you just want to get to the one-liners, jump to the section called “Blaming: Sexual Framing Technique.” Otherwise, if you'd like to gain a better understanding of the core principles involved, read on.

Do You Feel Anxious Around Women? Don’t Let Them See It

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

anxiety is a turn-off
Women are attracted to confidence, and anxiety is the opposite of confidence. So if women don’t find anxiety sexy, but it’s a normal feeling, what can we do about it?

Having recently lost a lover because of anxious thoughts, I figured it would be useful to cover how to address anxiety with women and dating.

While anxiety is a normal human emotion, some people feel it more than others. It’s a terrible weakness to display around a woman and is the opposite emotion from a “turn-on” and sexual excitement.

Think back to your most memorable sexual experiences, if you’ve had some. Was anxiety present? Would anxiety have helped the experience? If yes, did the anxiety make the situation better?

Most likely, your best experiences around women involve no anxiety at all. But if you’ve had experiences that did include anxiety, and I’ve had many, I can attest that these moments become question marks in women’s eyes.

Anxiety, especially if it shows up at critical moments like the first kiss or the first escalation, can ruin your chances to get a woman and keep seeing her.

Men will often experience anxiety and nervousness in critical moments during a seduction:

On the journey of getting better with women, men must train themselves to never feel anxiety around women, particularly in the critical moments mentioned above. As a rule, it’s best to avoid showing any anxiety around a woman you want to be sexual with.

How to Follow Up with Your Openers and Start a Conversation

Daniel Adebayo's picture

By: Daniel Adebayo

how to follow up after opening a girl
You've just delivered your opener and sparked her interest, but what now? These simple conversation tips will help you get an engaging conversation going.

Have you ever wondered how to follow up with your openers?

Maybe you’ve met some girls who were excited during your approach, but by the time you asked them out, their interest levels had diminished, leaving you with flaky phone numbers or worse.

You might even remember those experiences when meeting new women. “Now, if only I knew what to say,” you think to yourself during this early transition phase. Then it happens all over again.

Because once you start worrying about where to take your conversation, that fog of indecision shrivels your odds of getting her out on a date with you. After all, it only takes a few moments to create a strong first impression, but its positive effects on your seduction can evaporate just as quickly.

Repeated encounters with stifled conversations and those awkward silences have even led many aspiring seducers to abandon verbal game altogether and become advocates of a nonverbal approach.

Though, if you’ve been reading Girls Chase for a while, you’re probably aware that it’s a combination of the two that will supercharge your game. And while improving your fundamentals is often seen as a straightforward enough goal, many students of the game believe the road to becoming a good conversationalist is a confusing and complex journey.

But what if I told you there are simple ways to make your conversations interesting? What if there were some straightforward maxims you could follow to take her initial attraction to new heights?

There are several easy tips you can follow to boost your conversation skills.

We’ll be covering some that are best suited for the early parts of your seductions. And by the time you’ve finished reading, you’ll have a clear understanding of how to follow up your openers effectively.

How to Train Your Girlfriend: Long-Term Expectation Setting

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to train your girlfriend
How do you train your girlfriend into the kind of partner you need? The secret is in the expectations you set with her.

We've talked about the importance of establishing expectations before you even begin a relationship with a woman in the past before.

We've also talked about establishing precedent within your relationships, and why this is so vital.

Today I'll be giving you a tactic you can use within already existing relationships to 'train your girlfriend' by setting her expectations of a relationship with you for the long-term.

Once you're able to do this, you'll be able to avoid both minor and major speed bumps later on down the line in relationships that you'd otherwise crash into.