Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Inner Game Issues — The REAL Reason You Can't Get Women

Tony Depp's picture

can't get women
Your biggest barrier to attracting women is not what you think it is. If you keep saying “I can’t get laid because I am [blank],” you may need to rewire your inner game.

I’m a firm believer that the art of picking up girls is a gateway drug to true self-development.

Before I found the seduction community, I’d never heard of concepts like the abundance vs. scarcity mindset, limiting beliefs, or social conditioning. It was when I searched the internet for “How to get a girlfriend” that I was introduced to the odd and wonderful world of pickup artistry.

My goal, like most of you, became simple: to become awesome at picking up women. I quickly found there were hundreds of seduction techniques, gurus, and schools to choose from. With experience, I discovered it didn’t matter how many tactics I tried; it was like putting a bandaid on a gaping flesh wound.

My true self was always spilling out — a wounded, insecure, inexperienced, socially frightened boy, drastically distanced from the pinnacle of gleaming, confident excellence I am today.

The women knew I wasn’t there yet. So most of them, while amused at my pickup attempts, just wouldn’t date me. Most wouldn’t even text me back. I was baffled, frustrated, and increasingly depressed by my lack of results.

I asked one girl I was trying to score with, after numerous rejections, “What do I need to do?”

Her reply: “Spend six months meditating with my shaman in India.”

In a way, she was right. It wasn’t until years later that I understood what she really meant.

My inner game was crap.

If She Tells You Not to Wear a Condom, Wear a Condom

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

you don't need to wear a condom
If a woman tells you not to wear a condom, should you listen? Well, no – while going bareback can be fine sometimes, you don't want to do it with girls like this.

Imagine this: you've just brought a girl home from your usual method of seduction.

Perhaps you picked her up at a bar. Or you met her elsewhere then brought her on a date. Maybe you invited her over off a dating app.

Things have gone well, and the two of you are now in bed. She's topless, and you've cleared her final hurdle of last-minute resistance. You peel her jeans and panties off, then rip your pants off.

"You don't need a condom," she tells you. Her genitals are spread open in front of you and you're about to go in.

What's your reaction?

Gonna strap up anyway, or you going in rawhide?

If you're a 'condoms always' guy, that's an easy answer for you, I suppose.

But what if you're a 'condoms sometimes' guy?

How do you know if this girl is one of the 'sometimes'... or not?

Dating App Gurus vs. Pick Up Artists: What's the Difference?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dating app gurus
More and more, guys who succeed with women on dating apps are claiming their way is the 'best way.' But do these guys have superior seduction skills – or are they full of hot air?

When I was a seduction neophyte, cutting my teeth on game, everyone agreed: online dating was good for a few easy lays and a little momentum. Nevertheless it wasn't where you wanted to hang your hat.

There were guys then who specialized in it. But the rule of thumb was, the more into online a guy was, and the less 'real world', the more of an introverted, and frequently kind of odd, guy he was. Online was its own unique niche... but nobody went around equating it with pickup. The two were different things.

Online and pickup/seduction overlapped in some ways. But online always only ever covered a subsection of the skills and tool sets a man learned in cold approach pickup.

Recently, however, there's been a sort of ideological schism.

With the normalization of dating apps, the number of men whose lays come mostly or entirely from dating apps has skyrocketed.

And, increasingly, these online dating guys are getting some rather large egos.

Keep Her Interest Piqued with Conversation Thread Slicing

Alek Rolstad's picture

conversation thread slicing
Thread slicing is a conversation technique that keeps women intrigued and invested in a conversation with you. It’s also useful with fractionation and creating anchors.

Hey guys, and welcome back. Today I will share a conversation management technique I use that will add more control over your interactions.

Do you struggle with running out of things to say? Or keeping your conversations fresh and exciting throughout the interaction?

Maybe you have experienced state crash and would love to know another technique to deal with it?

If you answer yes to at least one of those questions, this post is for you.

Today we’ll cover thread slicing (not to be confused with thread cutting). It’s a simple yet efficient technique to use in any interaction, no matter where you are. This technique is not particularly advanced or hard to understand and not difficult to pull off.

This post is suited for beginners and intermediates since they will get the most benefit. However, it may be useful for more advanced players, though they most likely do this technique unconsciously. Becoming aware of what they do correctly may help them fine-tune their skills and use it more often and more consciously.

Wealthy Lifestyle Game: How to Get Laid when You Have Money, Pt. 2

Varoon Rajah's picture

how to get laid when you have money
As a wealthy guy, it’s harder to get fast sex with women because they peg you as a provider rather than a lover. Combat this by disqualifying yourself as a provider!

Welcome to Part 2 of the Art of Wealthy Lifestyle Game! We continue to explore why wealthy lifestyle game can net you some killer results with women, sometimes more than poor/broke game!

In Part 1, we covered these key concepts:

  • Power in authority makes men attractive to women
  • Wealthy lifestylers should raise their standards to benefit from game
  • Flaunt your wealth
  • Host cool events and build your social circle

These ideas are foundational concepts as to why wealthy lifestyle game can work. As you can probably tell, this game style is a little more niche. When thinking about raising your standards, your high-end lifestyle could alienate you from many lower-class women. They may see you as so high value that you’re unattainable (like your Ferrari to their Toyota).

But then, to other women, you’re simply a potential provider. Plenty of women get educations, great careers, and high-paying jobs, plus the lifestyle and high fashion to boot, in the hopes of meeting a guy with this status to lock him down.

As we know well (believe me, I know this ALL TOO well), girls will make you wait, and won’t give in to sex easily when they’ve met their prize. Indeed, once discovered, the wealthy lifestyler is a major prize for many women.

As I said long ago, where poor/broke game excels is in the ability for such guys to be a lover right off the bat and throughout the process. It’s congruent with the lover profile, and girls love the idea of throwaway sex when they’re horny! On the flip side, wealthy lifestylers run a high risk of being slotted into the potential provider category. This can slow them down or make things nearly impossible with girls.

So let's focus on ways to combat the provider frame and find success, despite this restriction.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Behave When Her Arousal Spikes

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

arousal spikeWhen she looks down, smiles, and brushes her hair back, you've spiked arousal.

During the course of every seduction, at certain points a woman's arousal will spike.

She'll go from "This guy's interesting to talk to" to "Wow, I think I like this guy."

At some other next point she'll then go from "I think I like this guy" to "Ohhhh... I want this guy."

You can see these arousal spikes (they get called 'buying temperature spikes' or 'BT spikes' in the seduction community) fairly obviously much of the time. Women will do things like:

  • Droop their eyelids ('bedroom eyes')

  • Smile lasciviously at you

  • Move much closer to you

  • Let out a little moan

  • Blush/flush their cheeks

  • Flash (suddenly raise) their eyebrows at you

  • Begin to touch you on their own

  • Let their lips part and mouth hang open a bit

  • Tilt their heads at you

(incidentally these are all things you can -- and should! -- do yourself as your seductions progress to create the feeling of greater intimacy and escalation)

When you see a few of these signs, it's a pretty clear indicator you're turning her on.

So what do you do when you see them?

Jump all over them?

Point them out?

How to Access Flow State and Advance to Seduction Mastery

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

flow state
Flow state is the miraculous place where everything works and makes you feel like a boss. What does it take to access flow state and make it your long-term ally?

If you’ve been cold approaching long enough, you’ll have heard the term “getting into state,” or perhaps “state control.” If you hang out with new pickup dudes, you’ve probably heard it in a phrase like, “I can’t approach tonight, bro. I’m not in state.”

That’s the beauty of seduction theory. Whenever some new idea comes out, weak men always find a way to use it as an excuse to not take action.

So, what is this mystical “state” we're talking about here?

State is the magical place where everything works. When you’re in “flow,” or “the zone,” you become a demi-god of skill, charisma, and focus. It’s a powerful place to be, not just with pickup but in any activity that requires skill.

The seminal book on state (and one of my all-time favorites) is Flow, The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. I’ll be quoting Mihaly as “MC” for this article, and any mentions of “flow” will refer to his book. The state of being in flow, I will call “state.”

How to Bridge Your Conversations with Girls into Juicy Topics

Alek Rolstad's picture

conversations with girls
To get a women hot and horny, you’ve got to steer the conversation toward seduction-friendly topics. Bridging helps you easily transition into your juiciest material.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I’ll get practical. I will not share any complex techniques or gambits but instead return to fundamentals. I’ll cover a basic conversational management tool that any seducer will need.

The topic for today is bridging. It is not complicated, and the tools you will learn can be applied to any field, not only pickup and seduction.

If you are a guy who struggles with transitioning into sex talk, this post is for you. If you occasionally run out of things to say, this post is for you, too. If you have conversations that go nowhere, this post will help.

If you want more control over your interactions, you have come to the right place.

Since this post covers fundamentals, does it mean this is a post for beginners? Well, yes. But intermediates often are ironically unfamiliar with what I am about to cover. Therefore, this post is for them, too.

What about advanced players? I am pretty sure that most advanced posters are already doing what I am about to discuss unconsciously. But it is helpful for advanced players to be aware of what they are doing, not only to gain a better understanding of their own game but also to make it better, fine-tune, and do it right more often. So this post is for them, too, even though this information will be most beneficial to beginners and intermediates.

Wealthy Lifestyle Game: How to Get Laid when You Have Money, Pt. 1

Varoon Rajah's picture

how to get laid when you have money
My previous article was about getting laid while broke. Now let’s talk about the other end of the spectrum – wealthy lifestyle game – and how to make the best of it.

In my last article, we covered a popular topic on the Girls Chase boards about the art of poor and broke man game.

This popular style of game is immensely successful and powerful. It involves influencing a girl with your vibe and attractive behavior, regardless of how successful you are in life. A major benefit is that you start directly at the lover category in the girl’s eyes as you move forward by providing good emotions and elicit sexual feelings to progress sexually.

Most "ladies men" tend to fall into the poor/broke category. Others include bartenders, artists, musicians, adventurers, tour guides, and frat boys. And as I mentioned, poor/broke game is not to be confused with deadbeats, who instead repel women no matter how hard they try.

Now let’s talk about the counterpart to poor/broke game: the wealthy lifestyle game. Some guys dream about this category. At the end of the wealthy spectrum, we have the Dan Bilzerians, Elon Musks, NBA basketball players, and sports legends, plus many seducers and coaches in the commercial dating arena who are wealthy and successful business owners.

You don’t need to be famous and super-wealthy to benefit from this kind of game style. Guys should be more concerned with the pitfalls of dating outside the poor/broke game. Wealthy guys who don’t quickly establish themselves firmly as a lover, and are remotely attractive and cool, start to become potential providers to women, which will potentially slow down or stall courtship.

It can get tough when you’re a decently successful and good-looking guy with a stable income, nice belongings, a good job, a great place, cool friends, a car — you get the point. This type of guy is distinctly average and nothing special. Even though he’s financially better off than the poor/broke guy, he may lack the sex appeal of the average Joe.

Wealthy lifestyle game is a nuanced way of structuring your “average” middle-class life to net the most returns with women, by elevating yourself in wealth and value. I believe that this style of game and the steps below become more potent when you combine them with actual financial success. The following tips can explode in effectiveness with more money in the mix.

This doesn’t mean that with money, you can forget about attractive behavior!

Girl Types: Distracted or Sexually Repressed Women

Chase Amante's picture
repressed woman
Ever meet a girl whom you never see express sexuality in any way, around you or any other guy? She might not be asexual – she might just be repressed.

Sometimes a woman's sexuality is repressed.

Or, she is so distracted by her other interests in life that boys and sex take a back seat.

When you meet her and you're with her, you won't pick up on any kind of sexual vibe from her. She doesn't talk about sex with you. If you bring it up, she changes the subject. If you joke about it, she ignores the joke. All the fun sexual stuff you do with most girls to her just bounces off. The vibe is 'interested in you but not really in a romantic way'.

Yet, if you do things right, and continue to lead her forward, you can bed her. She is not a 'friend zone' girl or someone without a sex drive.

It's confusing at first. Every guy's met girls his tactics don't work on because the girl's not interested. Such a girl deflects everything you say or do, yet 10 minutes later you see her draped all over another guy. The problem in this case is not 'her'... it is 'her plus you/your game'.

With distracted or repressed girls, this is not the case. You'll do your thing with them, not get your usual reaction, but then if you walk off they will not be draped over another guy should you see them later. If you're in a bar or another place people socialize lots, they might be in another non-sexual looking conversation, or they'll still be alone, having had some other guys come up, take their shots, fail to feel anything happening, then wander off too.

Repressed/distracted girls tend to often actually be fairly straightforward to bed... if you know how they work.

This article is about how they work.