Every learner falls into one of the four (4) learner-motivation profiles. Achievers find success, Plateauers get stuck, Protestors protest, while Onlookers hang back.I've been teaching in this space for over a decade-and-a-half now.
Do a few things right before you approach a new girl, and you raise the odds your approach succeeds. Spot invitations, create invitations, screen, build micro-momentum, and more.Contents
Hey guys and welcome back!
Last week I gave you my step-by-step guide on how to get back in shape, game-wise, and you learned how to get out of bad momentum.
This post links to last week’s topic. We will provide a checklist of tips and tricks to improve your opening game, focusing on pre-opening. Next week, we will cover opening.
Why does this subject link to last week’s post? The part of your game that takes the “biggest hit” when facing low momentum is your opening and hook game. (I am considering making a checklist of tips and tricks for good hook game as well). Opening hook game is the most vibe-dependent. The energy you communicate is paramount during the opening and hook.
Once you’ve passed the hook phase, it’s more about what you say and how you respond to her hoops and overall strategic calls. You’ll feel more comfortable interacting with the girl when you move past the opening and hook phase. So, despite your lower momentum, you will feel a better overall flow in the interaction.
This is not to say that you won’t feel rusty in other parts of your game. Your weaker awareness may impair your strategic choices because you have less playing room. It’s due to lower compliance from girls because of your low momentum (which affects your presence and vibe).
Now, you may be on high momentum and rocking it and just want to recap or improve your pre-opening skills. Then this post is for you.
Good pre-opening is crucial. It has direct and impactful spill-over effects on your opening game. We can’t discuss tight opening game without discussing pre-opening — you can skip it, but moving forward will be harder, on a psychological and practical level.
Maybe you are a beginner or an intermediate guy who happens to have opening as one of your sticking points. This post is also for you.
Most advice here is primarily for night game settings and bars. However, you can apply some concepts to day game with a few tweaks.
Let’s jump right in!
Without a map you’ll almost never reach an unfamiliar destination. If you want to succeed with women, you need a little navigation to get there.What's your aim with women? Have you thought about it?
When you go out to talk to girls, are you just going out randomly or is there a purpose?
Do you go out to try some techniques, and maybe they work or maybe they don't, then you go out another day and try again?
Men who are successful improving rapidly with women walk a fine line between having clear intentions while remaining outcome independent. Most guys err too far on one side of the other of this.
You get guys who have clear intentions... but they get really attached to outcomes. Every outing is an emotional roller coaster ride as they deal with things going or not going their way (often for reasons outside their control).
Then you get guys who are outcome independent... but who have fuzzy intentions. They go out, talk to girls, don't take it personal when it doesn't go their way, but sort of hang about listlessly experimenting with this or that in an undirected way.
Mapping out your desired end goals with women and thinking it through clearly can be a big help to actually getting where you want to get go with girls.
Of course, you must build your map in the most useful way.
When it comes to choosing girls, especially for long-term relationships, how perfect a fit must a girl be? Can you be too picky, waiting for too clear a sign?I know a guy who has these baffling (to me) relationships.
His stated objective is to find a wife.
He will find women who enter into relationships with him, whom he considers marriageable. These women talk to him about wanting something serious, tell him he's the best and most exciting guy they've been with; some of them even talk about marriage with him, or about him impregnating them.
He never moves things forward and always keeps his relationships at a kind of "casual+" level.
The women get frustrated and begin asking him what he wants with them, causing drama, telling him they cannot get a read on him and don't know what his intentions are.
He takes this as a sign their interests are not aligned, and begins having doubts / pulling back.
Eventually women break up with him in frustration, which he concludes meant they were never right for each other to begin with. Or sometimes he breaks up with them in annoyance at the drama, concluding they weren't looking for what he is.
He then begins picking up again, still looking for a wife. He's been repeating this process, over and over, for 20 years. He often says he thinks when he finds the right woman, it will just click.
With his most recent girlfriend, after she laid all her cards out on the table, told him he's the best guy she's been with in a long, long time, told him she wants a baby with him, then said she can't get a read on what he wants, his response to her was, "Well since you're not clear on what you want, we can take it day by day."
When I saw this confounding display, it got me thinking about the psychology there.
Because I have seen other men do things like this too.
And to me it's always looked inexplicable! What is a guy like this thinking, in doing things this way?
Well, it was inexplicable, until I really dug into it.
Today I'm going to talk about how people evaluate other people's wants and aims.
I'm going to talk about deciding what things someone says or wants matter vs. which don't.
Then we're going to talk about how people decide who's a fit for them -- and how they decide who isn't.
Approaching strangers demands a variety of social skills many people never fully develop. You need a reason to approach, to make sure you’re seen, and to be friendly, to start.This is Part 2 of my reboot of our old 'Social Skills 101' series.
You can see Part 1, with a video breakdown of various socially unsavvy approaches, here.
In Part 2, we're going to talk about approaching strangers.
If all you want is solid social skills, stranger approach isn't completely necessary (though it is helpful). There are plenty of highly socially skilled people who aren't able to approach strangers.
However, I think it's good to begin with, since a.) a big part of this site is devoted to cold approach, and b.) in the event you're starting off at zero socially, as I did, to even talk to people at all you'll need to start approaching strangers.
So let's dive into approaching and opening people you don't know -- a painfully awkward, uncalibrated social situation for most (even many otherwise veteran socializers who yet never learned to approach strangers).
When your momentum meeting girls is lacking, your motivation will be down, and your effectiveness won’t be as high. How do you get out of that and back to high momentum again?Contents
Hey guys, and welcome back!
This post is about getting back in shape and re-establishing high momentum meeting girls. But this post may also be useful to new players who are starting out and need a plan to proceed on their journey. This post is suited for players of all levels: beginners and pros alike. Yes, pros too! Since they also experience bad momentum at times.
Last time, we discussed the subject of low momentum. Many of you are experiencing low momentum, or rustiness, as a result of the pandemic. You may feel a bit down, a feeling that you have lost your mojo and that your “glory days” have passed. This is typical low momentum thinking, and it can be frustrating. However, we all experience low momentum at times. You can say the same about high momentum — when you feel like a living sex god and have “that vibe” that just sucks women in.
It is a pendulum effect. Sometimes you will be on the side of bad momentum; sometimes you will have good momentum.
It happens to us all: normal people and pro-seducers. It happens to me; it happens to you.
Low momentum can be frustrating, and many start feeling like “this is it” and give up. Last week’s post was motivational. We gave you reasons for not getting carried away by negative momentum and why you should put yourself together, work harder, and get out of that bad spot. It’s the period of low momentum when you learn the most and grow as a seducer.
After reading this post, you’ll see why.
You need to break down your game, focus on fundamentals, reinforce them, and fix all underlying issues.
Then you will grow stronger.
Today’s post is a step-by-step guide on how to swing back into high momentum.
The reality of dating, romance, and female nature doesn’t always match up with the ideas you held before. But if you can accept it, you can begin to craft the life you want.The other day I wrote an article on female bad behavior generally being rooted in skittishness, rather than outright sociopathy. I didn't pass judgment on this behavior... I did not say whether it was good or bad, justifiable or not. I simply explained it.
The response from some of the readers was resentment. It is unconscionable that women could fear these things from them, and clearly a sign a woman is a bad person if she reacts in any kind of way toward the man that the man objects to.
Here's one such response from a reader named Xander:
Article says that women is rude, disrespectful, i.e. generally bad, it is because she is afraid, insecure etc. and not because she is bad person. BUT that is exactly what makes someone bad person. I am pretty sure that good persons including women would be more understanding and empathic in order to overcome these problems. You see, there is always that claim that women shouldn’t be objectified but that is how they behave, and this article supports them. They are completely passive, do nothing besides signaling with bad behavior when they don’t like something. You see how selfish this is. And these persons surpassingly shouldn’t be considered as bad. Unless she is seriously threatened by some guy, nothing gives her right to treat him bad especially because it is not his fault why she doesn’t like him not is his fault because she is insecure, afraid etc.. That is her personality and how she deals with it shows what kind of person is she.
You can see what Xander is doing here; he isn't arguing about the reality of the article's perspective. He's simply passing moral judgment on the majority of womankind. Women, Xander says, because they sometimes reject men, are for the most part bad people.
This "me good; others bad" thinking is a normal human way to consider things. However, it stands in the way of success in your endeavors -- if, that is, success is what you're after.
When a woman gets on a high horse, here’s an easy way to interrupt the pattern she’s in: point out to her that she’s missing something.Pattern interrupts are useful tools.
They break people out of autopilot, snap them to attention, and force them to actually consider what you're saying. Without this, people may remain tuned out, reacting rather than considering, and it can be very hard to get them to do anything other than follow along with their preprogrammed behavior.
Lately I find myself using a "missing pieces" pattern interrupt increasingly often.
It's useful when dealing with opinionated people, people with their minds made up, or people attempting to lecture you about something.
In fact, the more certain someone is in his frame, the more the "missing pieces" argument interrupts his pattern.
It's therefore an almost unique tool in that the stronger the frame control of the individual you use it on, the better it is at disrupting his frame.
How's it work? Let me show you...
When girls act rude, dismissive, dramatic, or rejecting, it’s usually not because they’re nasty people. Usually it’s because they’re skittish about something.When women reject a guy harshly, guys often think those women are stuck up.
When women initiate drama in a relationship, guys often think these women are big babies or control freaks.
But in actual fact women behaving badly aren't usually stuck up, babies, or control freaks.
Usually, rather, they feel scared, frightened, threatened, or unsafe.
If you can understand this simple psychological principle, the way you approach bad behavior from women changes radically.
Q&A with a straight male escort: what kinds of women use escorts? What do they expect in an escort? What has escorting taught you about the opposite sex? And more…In this guest post, a veteran (straight) male escort from the the UK's straight male escort service Gentlemen-4-Hire talks about his experiences over the last 10 years escorting.
What sort of female clientele do escorts get?
What are these women looking for?
Do things ever "go wrong"?
He answers these and other questions from our forum about what it's like to be an escort.
