Pickup

Intermediate-level playboys have problems too. Their problems picking up women are different from beginners. They get some success now… but now come the plateaus, inconsistency, and ego.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Today I want to address a rarely discussed subject: issues intermediate and advanced players face with their learning curves. We often talk about difficulties beginners face, such as approach and escalation anxiety, lack of motivation and confidence, and even becoming depressed.

I know coaches who specialize in helping beginners. They spend time motivating them and playing the role of a therapist so beginners deal with whatever issue they may face while teaching them the basic skillset.

Many products are also geared toward beginners. They give a basic understanding of social dynamics and teach them the fundamentals of pickup and seduction.

Fewer products or coaching programs are dedicated to intermediate practitioners and even fewer to advanced guys. I will get to why that is.

I am careful about calling a top-tier advanced guy a student since they might hire me as a consultant to get an external perspective or learn about something I specialize in to master a new area.

Take a moment to jot down some challenges these two groups of students face. Then I will share a few words on dealing with these issues.

There are four good ways to introduce your wingman to girls. Which you choose will depend on how well (or not) the girls have responded to you so far.

How do you approach girls with a wingman?

If you're like a lot of unskilled guys, you'll both go barreling in at once, distracting and possibly intimidating the girls.

The girls are then forced to divide their attention between two guys, and you and your 'wingman' end up in a de facto competition to try to get the girls' attention onto yourselves.

For obvious reasons, this is not so effective.

Another way I've seen guys do it wrong is the one guy opens, and the other just stands out in space and never introduces himself or gets introduced.

Not much good you can do as a wing when you're never in the conversation to, you know, wing.

What we want is to get your wingman in there with you, in a way that helps you with the girl you want and (assuming her friend is cute) sets him up to succeed with her friend too.

We need a little more strategy for this than "both guys go talk at once" or "one guy talks and the other just waits, possibly forever."

Let's talk about opening things with a wingman properly.

Is it possible to attain every girl if you get good enough with women? Or are there limits? A realistic look at the upper echelons of ladykilling skills.

Hey guys.

Today I would like to offer a few words about what is achievable and what we can hope to attain in pickup and seduction. There are two schools of thought on this subject.

The first is the pessimistic view that a girl is either into you or not, and at the first sign of a challenge, you need to consider it a rejection.

And the other is the optimistic view that you can get any girl.

Both these extremes are flawed. I will attempt to show you why and then present my view.

We will approach this by covering both views first and discussing why each is flawed. Then I will give you my perspective, which is a synthesis of both.

Men gravitate to places filled with hot girls to do their approaching. Such venues are rarely the best place to meet girls… but men keep going due to the cheerleader effect.

We had a conversation on the forum the other day about better spots to meet women where your odds of successful hookups are higher.

At one point in the conversation Alek Rolstad noted that he's always had the HIGHEST odds of meeting girls who are straightforward to pick up in gay-friendly nightlife venues. That's been my experience too.

A member who's struggled to get traction picking up girls in-field (having been more of a dating app guy) commented that women in gay clubs in the US are "trashy" and that perhaps it's different in Europe.

It's true, there are some trashy women in gay-friendly US clubs. There are nevertheless some genuinely hot women there, too, and they are far easier to get together with there than they are just about anywhere else.

Thing is, most guys won't go to these places.

It's not even just because "there's gay guys there and I don't want people to think I'm gay."

Instead, it's because of something else, that affects men in all their types of venue selection:

Most guys don't pick the venues where it's easiest to get laid.

Most men, rather, gravitate toward venues where the cheerleader effect is on fullest display.

There are many ways to be more consistent when out picking up women. More seductive tools, greater awareness of your surroundings, less reliance on mood, and more.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

This post is for advanced guys or those who want to work their way into the advanced level.

I’ve written much about consistency and getting results consistently before. I’ve also written about getting a high meet-to-lay ratio (how many you meet compared to how many you seal the deal with).

Both are closely correlated since a higher meet-to-lay ratio means more consistency.

Getting a high meet-to-lay ratio and becoming consistent correlates with how tight your game is and how good you are with women.

I’ve mentioned that calibration was the key to the high meet-to-lay ratio, and thus consistency. I want to elaborate on what leads to consistency. So today, I’ll discuss what makes one consistent.

First, a few words on the meet-to-lay ratio.

If at first your opener doesn’t hook, try, try again. That’s the basis of opener cycling: using more than one opener on one girl. Don’t just open weak then plow.

Not every time you open a girl will she open with gusto.

Sometimes all you get is a blasé response.

She doesn't reject you, per se, but she isn't exactly ready to dive into a conversation.

You may want to just move on from a girl who's disinterested like this on the opener.

However, what if you want to persist?

If you just stand there and keep talking to her in the same way that failed to engage her the first time around, it doesn't work (I tried plenty of times as a beginner!).

Instead, you can use something I call 'opener cycling'... where you break up your early conversation, staccato-style, to attempt a variety of openers to see if you can't get her to hook.

If a girl is being snippy or you’ve hit a wall with her, make her chase you with a back turn… or just simply freeze her out.

There are a couple of old seduction community tactics I'd like to talk about today:

Back turns and freeze outs.

These are useful tactics when used correctly.

When used incorrectly they can make you look bitter at times, clownish at others.

The most key element of a successful back turn or freeze out thus is calibration: timing it right, using it correctly, and not doing it too short or too long.