Articles by Chase Amante | Girls Chase

Articles by Chase Amante

Tactics Tuesdays: Fun Ways to Use Reverse Psychology

reverse psychology
“You shouldn’t do this” – there’s no better way to get someone to do it than to tell her not to. Here’s how to use reverse psychology in dating and relationships.

In a comment on my article last week about orgasm anchoring, a reader named Edgy asks:

Hey Chase! Any perspectives on how reverse psychology ties in with seduction?

... and absolutely; it’s a real fun topic.

(aside: apologies for my delays on responding to comments, by the way. We’re doing a reshoot of several of the One Date lessons in May + shooting a bunch of other stuff, and all the logistical, writing, and managing prep for that has left me even less time than usual. I will get to comments, though!)

The gist of reverse psychology is that you advocate for the opposite of what you want someone to think, feel, or do. “Do not push!” written on a button, for instance – you can’t help but want to push that button, just to see what happens.

In terms of dating and relationships, that might mean you tell your date or girlfriend to do the opposite of what you in fact wish her to do. Or it might mean you act like you support the position opposite the one you hope she herself will choose.

Before you think this is some passive-aggressive way to get your way, think again. It’s a quite powerful psychological device – and you can use it in a variety of ways.

Grouping and Group Herd Effects in Dating and Seduction

herd mentality
Despite our language and identities, people move in herds. You have three (3) tools to get the girl you want from her tribe: integration, separation, and absorption.

We think of ourselves as individuals. Separate, unique, we act entirely of our own volition.

Yet man is a herd animal. Cram him into a wall-to-wall, shoulder-to-shoulder crowded concert or train station, then spook the herd, and you kick off a stampede. People may die, crush others, or trample, as throngs of panicked individuals, each catching the sense of panic from the next, surge over and against each other for the exits. In the aftermath of some deadly stampedes, investigators can find no emergency and cannot even figure out what caused the panic.

Show a man a market craze that everyone is getting in on and watch him lose his mind. In China, peer-to-peer lending has exploded as the economy has declined, even though defaults on these loans are sky high and the prospect of getting a return is dim. A few months earlier in the West, a Bitcoin craze thundered across the market. It was unrelated to any improvement in the usability or acceptance of Bitcoin as a currency – in fact, over the past several years, Bitcoin has only grown worse as a currency. 100% of Bitcoin’s increased valuation was due to market speculators buying up Bitcoin to cash in on the craze. Yet during Bitcoin fever, everyone was an optimist, telling friends, family members, and coworkers to “buy, buy, buy!” Today, five months after the crush began, the price of Bitcoin has come very close to where it was before the stampede ever began; in the process, thousands of people made fortunes, and thousands of others lost them (I personally know a few folks on both sides). Every bit of those gains and losses came at the expense or benefit of someone else gambling the other way.

(side note: fun dub of a Russian music video a friend of mine who was heavily invested in Bitcoin shared with me during the peak of the Bitcoin craze):

These, of course, are extreme scenarios.

And much of the time, even for people aware of human herd mentality, the concept gets peacefully tucked away into a kind of “only in extremes” awareness. Only in extreme situations, we tell ourselves, do humans behave in mindless, herd-like ways. The rest of the time, we are those unique, separate, totally consciously in-control individuals we tell ourselves we truly are.

However, this isn’t how it works at all. Man, as a social animal, is every bit as groupish as ants, horses, biofilms, and wildebeest. More to the point for our purposes, if you want to peel a woman out of her group, or get her to do what you wish in public, an understanding of how grouping and herding works in the people you’d like to influence is key.

Tactics Tuesdays: Orgasm Anchoring

orgasm anchoring
You can train a woman to do and enjoy something – or to cut that something out – with a simple (but mighty) operant conditioning tactic called “orgasm anchoring.”

Have you got something you’d like a girl to do, but she isn’t that excited about? Anchor it with orgasms!

Or maybe there’s something she does, and you’d like her to cut it out? Anchor it with orgasms!

This article presumes you’re adept at making women climax from sexual intercourse already. And ideally, that you’re able to string together multiple vaginal orgasms in her. If you’re not yet, or you’ve got a girl who’s sexually closed off and hasn’t learned to cum yet (or to cum easily / multiple times in a row), give these two articles a gander:

Also, you should probably have a decent grasp of how anchoring works. I’ll give you a quick overview, but I suggest you check out my full article on it here:

That discussed, let’s talk about how to make women you’re seeing do what you’d like them to do... with orgasms.

Where to Touch on Her Body Before You Get to Foreplay

touch pre-foreplay
What do you do when you get a girl who will let you touch her and cuddle with her, but not touch her breasts, buttocks, or crotch? You touch her other places... in sexy ways.

You’ve got a girl back at your place, making out with you, yet she’s resistant to sex. “We shouldn’t do this,” she tells you. “I have to get going.” Et cetera. You’ve heard it all before.

Do you want to plow ahead? Just keep trying? That can work. You won’t always have the drive for it though.

Here’s the deal: so long as she’s there, spending time with you in an intimate situation, you are still able to touch her and do things to turn her on, even if she yanks your hand off her crotch or won’t let you get her shirt off. There are more things you can do, and they seem harmless enough she will let you do them. And as you do them, she’ll get more and more turned on – and after you’ve done them for a while, those shirts, bras, pants, and panties come flying off.

I’m not going to go into a full discussion of foreplay today. You can read my articles on how to get a girl in bed and physical escalation once she’s in bed for more on that. You might also want to read our articles about giving women cunnlingus if you need details on that.

Today we’re just going to talk about places you can touch and ways to touch that turn girls on, without being full-on erogenous zone foreplay.

The Chad Test

the chad test
If she likes you, but opts not to hook up with you, what does it mean? Why, it means you’ve failed her Chad test – and now she’ll make you wait.

You’re back alone at your place with a girl. What you know about her: she’s adventurous, independent, and, by all indications, probably has been with her fair share of men. Perhaps she’s shared some of her old war stories with you: guys she’s been with, wild hookups she has had, sordid escapades gone by.

For some reason, it feels slightly off. You feel like she likes you, it’s just... her walls are up.

You decide to go for it anyway. She’s near you on the couch, with her body turned slightly away from yours. Her arms are folded, her expression slightly tensed. “Come here, you’re so far away,” you tell her. She scoots a little closer, but she doesn’t seem excited to do it. You put your hand on her chin to turn her face toward yours. She stops you.

“I don’t feel ready for that yet,” she says. You feel let down. After all that talk about all her crazy past hookups... and now she “isn’t ready?”

“I should probably go,” she tells you. You figure she’s blowing you off. And to be honest, you’re not really feeling it yourself either. Her defensiveness has killed any interest in her you had earlier. You walk her to the door. “I had fun,” she says. “We should hang out again soon.” You grunt a response and let her go.

Two weeks later – you haven’t bothered to message her – she texts you, asking what you’re up to and why she hasn’t heard from you. It seems so weird... this girl resisted intimacy when you brought her back, but she still wants to meet up anyway. Why? For what?

Slowly it starts to dawn on you: she likes you... just not enough to make you one of the men she gives it up too fast.

You have, in other words, failed the Chad test.

Tactics Tuesdays: Relaxed Openers in Bars with a Wingman

relaxed bar opener
The relaxed bar opener lets you meet girls in a bar in a relaxed, natural, sociable way. All you need to do it is a cool wingman, and halfway decent fundamentals.

Much of what we talk about when it comes to cold approach centers on walking up to new women solo and delivering an opener. Often we discuss going out alone to meet girls. Or we might talk about rolling with a wingman, yet treat it as little different from rolling solo; just two guys roving the streets, bars, or parties on the prowl, and when one guy sees a girl he likes the looks of, he goes in.

Today’s article is about a more relaxed approach you can take while out with a wingman in a social venue (bars, parties, nightclubs), that makes it easy for you to meet new girls in a laid back, low pressure way, without looking like the ‘guy on a mission’ who goes around and chats up every available girl.

If you’re new to approaching and want an easy way for you and a friend to transition into chatting up new women, this is a prime candidate for that. Or even if you’re an old hand and simply prefer a more relaxed evening on the town, this approach serves nicely.

Let’s talk about what this approach is.

Don't Let Your Approaches/Courtships Be Adversarial

adversarial approach
If you get your hackles up, or start to feel defensive, it’s easy to turn adversarial on dates and in conversations. Yet do this, and you will quick run into walls with women...

Here’s an insidious problem it’s easy to overlook.

Sometimes if you hit the bars, or the street, or a party, and your first few approaches don’t go well, and you pick up a couple rejections, you can start to sour on the whole ‘chat up new girls’ thing.

Or sometimes if you have a history of rejection... or you’ve been reading too much anger-inducing content on the Internet... or you’ve just had a terrible day in general... this can happen.

Basically: you start to expect the worst, and either bristle for it, go in adversarially, or both.

And when a woman talks to you, she can feel it: you’re defensive, guarding against rudeness, insult, or dismissal. And/or you’re aggressive, treating her like an opponent whose defenses and objections you must ‘beat’, instead of as a friend you’d like to help lead around those objections (and into bed).

Yet the more adversarial you let your approach become, the worse it will usually do.

You need to not do this to make things work better with girls.

Does She Know What She Wants? Many Female Desires Are Unconscious

know what she wants
What women say they want and what they actually choose often doesn’t line up. Why is so much of what women really want unconscious?

One of the most challenging aspects of psychological science is how often people say they want one thing, only to choose something else.

I saw this routinely back in my tire salesman days. A customer would come in and say he wanted the cheapest set of tires we had. I’d ask him about what he wanted his driving experience to be like; I’d discover he wanted great road traction and a comfortable ride; and he’d proceed to purchase a premium set of tires with excellent traction and ride comfort instead.

This “what you say you want vs. what you actually want” issue manifests in all sorts of ways in psychological science, too. Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel’s 2008 speed dating study “Do people know what they initially desire in a romantic partner?” found no matter how strong someone insisted a preference was (e.g., “I will only date a girl if she is beautiful” “I won’t date a guy unless he makes a lot of money”), that person was no more likely to pick someone who matched the preference in a live event than average.

In his chapter in The Adapted Mind: Evolutionary Psychology and the Generation of Culture, on how women evaluate mate prospects, Bruce J. Ellis unfurls a host of items on how women select their mates. One of the most important things Ellis talks about, though, is some of the paradoxes in mate selection. For instance, much research finds women are drawn to men who are socially dominant: men who dominate their social environments. These men tend to be cooler, more aloof, and more detached. Yet a lot of other research finds women are drawn to men who are warm, personal, and caring. How do those two connect?

We’ll talk about Ellis’s solutions to the warmth-dominance paradox below. But first we need to pose a question: do people actually know what they want?

Tactics Tuesdays: Brushing Off Tough Questions

brush off questions
You never want to explain yourself to a woman’s tough questions. Yet to brush them off, you need the right tactics – and the right mentality.

We’ve talked about tough questions (which fall under the umbrella of ‘tests’) before. I’ve given you some ways to answer these well, as well as a formula to know how to respond to such challenges (i.e., status and respect). And, perhaps most importantly of all, I cautioned you never to explain yourself to women.

Today we’ll talk about a few specific varieties of challenging questions you can receive (from both men and women... though we’ll focus mainly on questions from women today). That variety is tough questions; questions that put you on the spot, in a not-so-helpful-to-your-cause sort of way.

We’ll talk about brushing these questions off. But there’s going to be a twist to how we do this; we don’t want to do a brush off in a way that looks like we are trying not to answer. That’s because if you evade someone’s questions (for too long), it seems like you’re frightened, or have something to hide.

So instead, we want to brush tough questions off in a way that either blows up the question, or lets us answer it on more favorable terms.