Articles by Chase Amante | Girls Chase

Articles by Chase Amante

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Dismantle Anyone Who Condescends to You

condescends to you
Use these 10 rhetorical techniques to beat back anyone who condescends toward you. Plus: why the heck do people do this, anyway?

Guys have been asking me for more stuff on debating for a while now (since the piece on Donald Trump persuasion).

In this article, we’ll take a brief foray away from girl-getting, into the land of general social calibration.

In particular, we’ll talk about defending yourself against smug, condescending attacks:

“Oh, you think that, do you? Well, you’re just misinformed.”

This form of condescension has become extremely common among some populations in the early 21st Century West. My typical advice is to avoid smug individuals. Smugness is a giveaway for social ladder climbing behavior; those who engage in it are not fruitful contacts for the active, ambitious man, and are better avoided.

It didn’t used to be like this; Christian conservatives in the 1990s used moral superiority, but they did not condescend to the same extent other groups do today. If you’re a free-thinking man, the attacks you’ll find yourself up against today are some of the dirtiest, most dastardly attacks humans can wield in the verbal arena... and if you want to defend yourself, you’re going to need some tools to do it.

The Feminine Conundrum: Why Do Women Contradict Themselves So Much?

women contradict themselves
Women contradict themselves a lot. But they don’t always do so for the same reasons... They have 5 different ones, in fact.

She tells you she’s past her hookup phase and doesn’t just hook up with guys anymore. An hour later she’s fumbling with your belt buckle to pull down your pants and give you a blow job.

She tells you she’s done dating bad boys. But after your best bad boy performance, she’s already texting you a few days later to see when you want to do it again.

She tells you at the ordering window she doesn’t want anything to drink. Five minutes later she’s gulped down most of your cola and left you with an almost-empty cup.

She texts you she doesn’t want to be around a guy with friends like yours. Then she shows up at your door that night anyway, a big grin on her face... even after you told her you’re not dropping your friends for her.

She tells you she doesn’t want anything serious with you. A few months later she picks a big blow-up fight because she feels like it isn’t going anywhere.

She tells you she hates people who contradict themselves all the time. Then she contradicts herself again.

Spend any time around women and you’ve no doubt seen this. Most of these contradictions you get used to once you’ve seen them enough. But even if you’re a grizzled romantic veteran, women will still pull out contradictions that make your mental gears grind to a halt. And the only thing you can do is stare, jaw agape, and ask yourself, “What on Earth...? How can both of these sentiments come from the same person?”

Today we’re going to explore this feminine conundrum. We’re going to resolve all the contradictions around the female tendency to contradict.

Tactics Tuesdays: Just Moved to Town vs. Just Passing Through

new in town dating
Little questions with big-impact answers: how long have you been in town, why are you single, and what do you do?

Quick post on a small but impactful distinction.

How you present several details about yourself often makes a big difference in how women receive you. The details we’ll discuss today are how long you’ve been in town, your relationship status, and your employment status.

Depending on your answer to these questions, women will see you in very different lights... as the result of your answers’ impacts on two different metrics: your value and your attainability.

Let me note up front that not everyone will be able to use all these all the time. That is not the purpose of this article (there seems to be a rise in dogma/absolutism recently where guys are thinking everything Chase says is something they have to do always. So I’m going to start including caveats like this more). Rather, the point of this article is to raise your awareness to these details (and others like them), so that when you can make use of them, you do.

Why Can't You Find a Loyal Woman?

find a loyal woman
To men, women can seem disloyal… Or at least, not nearly as loyal as men. What’s it take to find a loyal lady anyway?

One of the most discombobulating romantic statements I hear from men goes like this:

I just want to find a girl that’s loyal.

It’s not discombobulating because women can’t be loyal. Plenty of men throughout history, down through to today, have had women deeply loyal to them.

The statement discombobulates, rather, because you cannot ‘find’ loyal women. Any more than you can dig deep into a diamond mine in search of engagement rings, or wander into the African savanna on the lookout for trained circus lions. You may find diamonds in the diamond mine, but you won’t find rings; you might find lions in the savanna, but they won’t be trained. So it is with women.

Some women are more inclined toward loyalty than others, it’s true. But women by nature are opportunistic. They are romantic guns-for-hire, ready to serve whoever makes the best offer... and eminently practical when the lord they’d hoped to sign on with is unable or unwilling to give them the agreement they need.

“I want to find a loyal woman” is a foundational misunderstanding of female psychology. It projects male values onto female prospects.

But women aren’t men. And the way they think about loyalty, treat it, and uphold or enforce it is very, very different.

Tactics Tuesdays: Demo Seduction

demo seduction
If you already have something you’re good at doing with a girl, you can “demo” it on her – and get her even more sucked in to the seduction.

In yesterday’s article on being too girl crazy, I mentioned something I dubbed ‘demo seduction’. Demo seduction, I noted, is a way of telling a girl exactly what you’re doing to her, as you do it. In today’s Tactics Tuesdays article, I’ll detail this tactic a lot further for you.

Before we dive in though, a note on who can use this.

Demo seduction works best for men who are confident in the techniques they demonstrate. Usually you will reserve this for tactics you’re familiar with and have used enough times before you demo them. While it is possible to use this with brand new techniques (say, you’re going to try a new physical escalation ladder for the first time, and will describe it to her as you do it), you’re not going to be as smooth, since you’re trying to both describe the technique and figure out how to perform the technique at the same time.

As such, I do not recommend you couple this with brand new tactics. Stick to demo’ing things you already do and are able to make work, and you’ll get the most mileage out of your demos. This will mostly be a tactic for men who are intermediate and up.

Now let’s talk about what this is, how it works, and just why it’s so much fun (and so good!).

Too Girl Crazy? When Meeting Girls is Your #1 Hobby

girl crazy
Everybody says you need more in your life than just approaching girls. But when ‘girls’ becomes your obsession, how do you balance it out?

If you’re at beginner or intermediate status with women, you might be in this position. You shouldn’t have girls as your primary (or only!) hobby. You know that. You’ve heard it from countless skilled guys. Women are most attracted to men who have their lives together, have other things going on, and are, well, interesting. It makes perfect sense to you, and you agree, of course.

Yet nevertheless, meeting girls is still your #1 hobby. It might even be your only hobby. You’re girl crazy. ‘Girls’ is the pastime that occupies your head space and free time almost exclusively.

This is a pretty natural thing to have happen when you’re deep into learning a skill. People who focus on skill acquisition in a hardcore way usually restructure their lives around the skill they’re learning. If you aim to become a bodybuilder, you restructure your entire life around putting on muscle and the gym. If you aim to become a novelist, you restructure your life around writing and editing. Everything else takes a back seat.

But here’s the challenge: what you talk to women about is going to reflect how you spend your time. And if all you do is go out to meet girls, what the heck can you talk about with them then?

The Low Testosterone, No Girls Funk

low testosterone funk
Ever find yourself in a funk, where nothing you did with girls worked out? Sometimes it’s random. But sometimes it’s testosterone.

One of our more senior forum members, named Lao Che, has run into problems getting girls. Lao Che’s in his early 40s, travels often, and was until recently a regular hound dog. But then things fell off. He describes it as “I got old really fast.” He had a few relationships end poorly six months ago, and since then women won’t go beyond flirtation with him.

For years, Lao Che posted one lay report after another on the GC boards, often picking up girls the same night out of bars or sucking them into his world over a couple of dates and bedding them with ease. What happened?

I don’t know if it’s exactly his scenario (would need a few more details), but I suspect it is: most of the time when I see guys have total results reversals like this – where they go from lots of success with women, to no success with women – it’s a testosterone problem.

Testosterone problem? What’s that? What’s the cause... and why would getting T-levels flowing again after they’ve ebbed way down bring your results back up with women, too?

That’s the topic of today’s article: the low-T funk, what it looks like, how to identify it, and how to get back out of it. Don’t worry. I’m not going to give you any magic T-level rising potions to consume. But we will be talking ‘man stuff. If your T-levels are off, this is the stuff we’re going to get you doing to bring those levels back up.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Respond to Her Text Screens

text message screening
Girls sometimes ask screening questions over text. How you handle these is the difference between vanish or date.

I recently read a private report from one of our senior discussion forum members. It was of a girl he’d met via street stop, took a phone number from, and later slept with a few dates in.

In the text conversation that followed his brief initial meet, she hit him with a few screening questions:

  • On his age
  • Whether he was a student or worked
  • Why he picked her to approach

In between these, she asked other questions. It was friendly enough. But these types of text message screens can be deceptively dangerous.

There’s no subcommunication you can use to make an answer playful over text. No body language, voice tone, or facial expressions to flesh out your response. Things you’d say in-person that would work great in that medium (“I’m a traveling vagabond”) may completely disqualify you over text. Yet just the same, if you are boring or flat, you may lose the girl too.

The way to deal with text screens is straightforward enough. Yet the challenge is, can you resist the urge to be too clever... without completely following her lead?

How to Tell a Girl Who's Beautiful from One Who's Made Up

natural beauty vs. makeup
Women use makeup, hair, dress, and behavior to make you think they’re prettier and more sexually receptive than they are. But you don’t need to be fooled.

After I’d been meeting girls in bars and on the street for a few years, I decided to undertake a project. I wanted to become instant and good at differentiating naturally beautiful girls from all the rest. And there were a few reasons I decided to do this.

If you aren’t too experienced with women yet, or you haven’t paid much attention to this, there’s a lot women can do to make themselves look more attractive than they naturally are. And in fact, often this ‘artificial beauty’ commands men’s attention more than natural beauty does. I discussed this in “You’re Passing Up the Hottest, Coolest Girls”; how, quite often, a guy will go for the flashy girl with red lips and a low neckline over the girl who actually has the prettier face and better breasts, but who does not advertise these.

My suggestion is for you to switch it up. Rather than go for the girl who makes herself look better and more sexually receptive than she is, you go for the girl who is genuinely beautiful, and genuinely receptive, yet isn’t angling for your attention as much.

Of course, that’s hard to do if you don’t know what you’re looking for. The hair, makeup, and clothes industry is designed to trick the male brain. It is hard to not be spellbound by the woman in flashy attire, with flashy hair, and flashy makeup.

Thus, if you’d like to see past the illusion, you must train to attune to certain things.

7 Girl-Getting Paradigms (Which One is Yours?)

girl getting paradigms
Different men approach meeting girls from wildly different paradigms. What does your paradigm say about you – and how’s it impact your success?

The other day, commenting below Alek’s fourth installment on his series about meeting girls in gay bars, a reader named BMontana remarked:

[A]s a man, I not only want to get laid but I also want a woman to chose me over other straight guys, it’s an ego thing I guess. Now I wouldn’t mind picking up a girl in a gay bar if I was 100% sure I would succeed but still knowing that I am one of the few non gay guys won’t give me the satisfaction that I would have gotten when picking up a woman in a regular bar.

It’s an interesting girl-getting paradigm: I’m most satisfied with a pickup if the girl chooses me over other men.

At first I mistook BMontana’s paradigm for: I’m most satisfied with a pickup if I vanquish other men. But I realized that is yet another paradigm. BMontana wants to feel picked by the girl over other offers, rather than to defeat other men in a battle of skills, wit, or will.

What I’d like to do today is to explore the different potential paradigms a man may have when it comes to securing new women. Some of these paradigms are more helpful than others; however, I will not present them in order of effectiveness.

Instead, we’ll talk a bit about what makes a paradigm more or less effective, and then we’ll discuss the seven (7) paradigms a man may use. Note that your paradigm will tend to be your default; when you operate from a paradigm, it is how you normally interact with the opposite sex.

The paradigm you inhabit colors your dating world: how you think about women, you interpret the signs and signals they give you, and how successful (or not) you are, in various situations, with various women.