Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Opening Cheatsheet: How Approach Her (What to Do & Say)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

opening cheatsheetIt’s easy to fall off your opening game when you’re rusty at meeting girls. Use this cheat sheet to tighten up your opening and start new conversations with ease.

Hey guys, and welcome back!

After finishing up my post on how to get out of bad momentum, I promised you a few cheat sheets to help in the early game, as that’s usually the part of your game that will take the biggest hit when you are at low momentum.

It’s because the opening game is the phase that feels the most uncomfortable since you have to go up to a stranger and face potential rejection. When you have low momentum, your confidence is lower, making the process more emotionally painful.

Also, your vibe is a bit off when you have low momentum, making the opening phase harder.

If you are interested in the symptoms of low momentum, check out my post from a few weeks ago for detailed explanations.

I also wrote a post on how to “treat” low momentum. If you are experiencing low momentum, I highly recommend you check out that post.

This post expands on that. If you’ve read my earlier post on treating low momentum, you may remember that you should break down your game and fix every small detail until things start working again. You should also limit your game plan to the strict minimum, only adding to it if the current plan is not working or if you sense something is missing.

A slight exception applies to opening and hooking. You should put more effort and brainpower into working on these aspects of pick-up and seduction when you experience low momentum because they take the biggest hit.

This is why I made a post on pre-opening game. That information will work in synergy with this. To be clear, it is not a necessity to use pre-opening game, but it increases your odds of successfully opening and makes opening mentally easier.

The advice I will give here will mostly consist of tips on bettering your opening game — nothing overly fancy.

Tactics Tuesdays: Anchor Her Attraction

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

attraction anchoringGive a girl a way to recall her attraction to you with an “attraction anchor.” Attraction anchors are things you do or get a woman to do that she’s likely to remember later.

Have you ever approached a girl, who was clearly attracted to you, done everything right with her, left her smiling, had her contact info in-hand as you did so, and then... never heard from her again?

Sure you have. It's the pox of every even halfway active dater.

It can send you into a tailspin trying to figure out what went wrong. Everything seemed perfect. You executed the approach perfect. The girl responded to you perfectly in every way.

So why did she vanish once you left, and never respond to your texts, voice/video messages, or calls again?

The answer is because attraction has an expiration date, and if you fail to make a strong enough impression, that expiration date may often be "as soon as you leave her side."

What can you do to prevent attraction expiring while you're away from her?

Anchor her attraction to things likely to stick in her mind.

Social Skills 101: Engaging People with Small Talk

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

TEXTSmall talk serves important social functions in the early conversation. Being good at it enables you to have better, more fluid conversations with those you talk to.

In our next installment in the Social Skills 101 series (see Part 1 on why basic social skills are so key here, and Part 2 on approaching unfamiliar people here), we'll talk about everyone's least favorite part of conversation, small talk.

Small talk is the bane of many an objective-oriented conversationalist, and not always for the same reasons:

  • Some loathe small talk and try to move past it or skip it entirely wherever possible

  • Others view small talk as necessary, yet become trapped in it, unable to free themselves from it

Let's discuss what small talk is, the function it serves in conversation, and how to use it without bogging down in inane conversation you can't break free of.

Opening Girls Training Exercises

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

opening girls exercisesIs your opening in a rut (or you aren’t opening many girls at all right now)? Try one of these exercises to get yourself opening again, and “freshen up” your approaching.

Every guy could be a little better at opening girls.

Further, anytime you've stumbled across a new opener, you've probably gone on a bit of tear, haven't you?

Tactics Tuesdays: "You're Cute But What Else?"

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

looks-dismissing screeningHow do you approach a girl whose head is big over all the compliments she’s been fending off? By disqualifying her looks… and getting her to tell you what else she has going on instead.

Today we're going to talk about an old Mystery technique from back in the day.

Perhaps we should call it "Throwbacks Tuesdays" instead of "Tactics Tuesdays"!

The technique in question is the looks-disqualifying screen. You use it on hot girls who know they're hot in situations where men fawn over their looks. The point: remove a woman's sense of looks-based self-importance and cause her to qualify herself to you on qualities of hers not so readily on display.

The standard line for this is, "You're cute, but what else you do you have going on for you?" said in a way as if you're a bit bored with the fact that she "is cute" and are half-interested to know if there's anything more to her than appearance.

This tactic is deadly in certain situations. It's very well optimized for scenarios where women have big heads (and thus, high walls) due to confidence in their appearances.

That said, in other situations, it's unnecessary, and possibly tone-deaf, so let's look at when to use it before we dive into the details on how to apply it.

How Do You Make Strict Girlfriend Standards Work?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

strict girlfriend standardsAs an experienced dater, how do you juggle strict standards for girlfriends vs. the qualifying girls’ rarity? What must you compromise on to get the women you want?

Writing on my article "Must the Girl You’re with Be a Perfect Fit?", a reader asks:

So Chase how often do you compromise on your stated standards for women you would want as girlfriends? Because when you have described it over the years it's so strict and stringent to me it seems impossible to find a woman like that consistently. If your expectations are for her to be beautiful,curvy and busty,but slim without needing to workout at the gym,have a master's,be raised by two parents,only have a few sexual partners and never a casual one,never goes out at night,not a vocal feminist and have compatability plus mutual attraction with you it sounds like finding a needle in a haystack. I know your standards have increased over the years,but it sounds impractical to only date women who meet ALL of these criteria so surely there are instances where a woman doesn't have all of these?

I think that's a reasonable question.

I don't know how helpful it will be to the average reader -- maybe more of a curiosity? -- but perhaps my thinking/process on girlfriend selection may be of use to some.

How Likely Are You to Succeed? The Learner-Motivation Quadrant

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

learner motivationEvery learner falls into one of the four (4) learner-motivation profiles. Achievers find success, Plateauers get stuck, Protestors protest, while Onlookers hang back.

I've been teaching in this space for over a decade-and-a-half now.

Pre-Opening Cheatsheet: Use These Before You Approach Her

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

pre-opening cheat sheetDo a few things right before you approach a new girl, and you raise the odds your approach succeeds. Spot invitations, create invitations, screen, build micro-momentum, and more.

Hey guys and welcome back!

Last week I gave you my step-by-step guide on how to get back in shape, game-wise, and you learned how to get out of bad momentum.

This post links to last week’s topic. We will provide a checklist of tips and tricks to improve your opening game, focusing on pre-opening. Next week, we will cover opening.

Why does this subject link to last week’s post? The part of your game that takes the “biggest hit” when facing low momentum is your opening and hook game. (I am considering making a checklist of tips and tricks for good hook game as well). Opening hook game is the most vibe-dependent. The energy you communicate is paramount during the opening and hook.

Once you’ve passed the hook phase, it’s more about what you say and how you respond to her hoops and overall strategic calls. You’ll feel more comfortable interacting with the girl when you move past the opening and hook phase. So, despite your lower momentum, you will feel a better overall flow in the interaction.

This is not to say that you won’t feel rusty in other parts of your game. Your weaker awareness may impair your strategic choices because you have less playing room. It’s due to lower compliance from girls because of your low momentum (which affects your presence and vibe).

Now, you may be on high momentum and rocking it and just want to recap or improve your pre-opening skills. Then this post is for you.

Good pre-opening is crucial. It has direct and impactful spill-over effects on your opening game. We can’t discuss tight opening game without discussing pre-opening — you can skip it, but moving forward will be harder, on a psychological and practical level.

Maybe you are a beginner or an intermediate guy who happens to have opening as one of your sticking points. This post is also for you.

Most advice here is primarily for night game settings and bars. However, you can apply some concepts to day game with a few tweaks.

Let’s jump right in!

What Do You Want with Girls? Let's Map that Out

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dating success mapWithout a map you’ll almost never reach an unfamiliar destination. If you want to succeed with women, you need a little navigation to get there.

What's your aim with women? Have you thought about it?

When you go out to talk to girls, are you just going out randomly or is there a purpose?

Do you go out to try some techniques, and maybe they work or maybe they don't, then you go out another day and try again?

Men who are successful improving rapidly with women walk a fine line between having clear intentions while remaining outcome independent. Most guys err too far on one side of the other of this.

You get guys who have clear intentions... but they get really attached to outcomes. Every outing is an emotional roller coaster ride as they deal with things going or not going their way (often for reasons outside their control).

Then you get guys who are outcome independent... but who have fuzzy intentions. They go out, talk to girls, don't take it personal when it doesn't go their way, but sort of hang about listlessly experimenting with this or that in an undirected way.

Mapping out your desired end goals with women and thinking it through clearly can be a big help to actually getting where you want to get go with girls.

Of course, you must build your map in the most useful way.

Must the Girl You’re with Be a Perfect Fit?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

you and your girlfriend a fitWhen it comes to choosing girls, especially for long-term relationships, how perfect a fit must a girl be? Can you be too picky, waiting for too clear a sign?

I know a guy who has these baffling (to me) relationships.

His stated objective is to find a wife.

He will find women who enter into relationships with him, whom he considers marriageable. These women talk to him about wanting something serious, tell him he's the best and most exciting guy they've been with; some of them even talk about marriage with him, or about him impregnating them.

He never moves things forward and always keeps his relationships at a kind of "casual+" level.

The women get frustrated and begin asking him what he wants with them, causing drama, telling him they cannot get a read on him and don't know what his intentions are.

He takes this as a sign their interests are not aligned, and begins having doubts / pulling back.

Eventually women break up with him in frustration, which he concludes meant they were never right for each other to begin with. Or sometimes he breaks up with them in annoyance at the drama, concluding they weren't looking for what he is.

He then begins picking up again, still looking for a wife. He's been repeating this process, over and over, for 20 years. He often says he thinks when he finds the right woman, it will just click.

With his most recent girlfriend, after she laid all her cards out on the table, told him he's the best guy she's been with in a long, long time, told him she wants a baby with him, then said she can't get a read on what he wants, his response to her was, "Well since you're not clear on what you want, we can take it day by day."

When I saw this confounding display, it got me thinking about the psychology there.

Because I have seen other men do things like this too.

And to me it's always looked inexplicable! What is a guy like this thinking, in doing things this way?

Well, it was inexplicable, until I really dug into it.

Today I'm going to talk about how people evaluate other people's wants and aims.

I'm going to talk about deciding what things someone says or wants matter vs. which don't.

Then we're going to talk about how people decide who's a fit for them -- and how they decide who isn't.