Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 5: Odds and Ends

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

meet girls in gay bars
The final article in the “meeting girls in gay bars” series: the best place to open, how to isolate in gay bars, the gay after party, and more.

Greetings!

Welcome to the 5th and final chapter (for now) on seduction in the gay environment. To date, I have shared this 5-part guide in addition to two other articles that indirectly cover relevant elements on this subject. If you haven’t read those articles yet, here they are.

And here are those related articles:

Just like our previous article, this one will focus on elements of the seduction process that are unique to the gay environment (things that are particularly awesome about it) that you should exploit. We’ll also discuss potential difficulties and other things to watch out for – and how to deal with them.

The focus of this post will be on the surroundings, the situation, and the context in which the seduction takes place. You’ll learn how to understand and properly manage the logistics, some of which are in fact different in this environment.

There are also some logistical “shortcuts” or “cheats” that I want to cover.

Let us get into it.

Most Guys Who Suck with Girls Have No Idea Why

Denton Fisher's picture

By: Denton Fisher

suck with girls
When a guy doesn’t do well with girls, usually he finds something to blame. But most of the time, what he blames is not the true culprit.

Everyone is an expert, as the saying goes. The less you know, the more you are convinced there’s nothing you don’t know. People will repeat non-stop how your success with the opposite sex is predetermined. I have too many friends who have been approaching women for years, still whining about things they cannot control instead of focusing on improving what they’ve got. It is ridiculous.

But it makes you wonder: how much is there for the average person to improve, given proper practice and incremental development?

7 Girl-Getting Paradigms (Which One is Yours?)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl getting paradigms
Different men approach meeting girls from wildly different paradigms. What does your paradigm say about you – and how’s it impact your success?

The other day, commenting below Alek’s fourth installment on his series about meeting girls in gay bars, a reader named BMontana remarked:

“[A]s a man, I not only want to get laid but I also want a woman to chose me over other straight guys, it’s an ego thing I guess. Now I wouldn’t mind picking up a girl in a gay bar if I was 100% sure I would succeed but still knowing that I am one of the few non gay guys won’t give me the satisfaction that I would have gotten when picking up a woman in a regular bar.”

It’s an interesting girl-getting paradigm: I’m most satisfied with a pickup if the girl chooses me over other men.

At first I mistook BMontana’s paradigm for: I’m most satisfied with a pickup if I vanquish other men. But I realized that is yet another paradigm. BMontana wants to feel picked by the girl over other offers, rather than to defeat other men in a battle of skills, wit, or will.

What I’d like to do today is to explore the different potential paradigms a man may have when it comes to securing new women. Some of these paradigms are more helpful than others; however, I will not present them in order of effectiveness.

Instead, we’ll talk a bit about what makes a paradigm more or less effective, and then we’ll discuss the seven (7) paradigms a man may use. Note that your paradigm will tend to be your default; when you operate from a paradigm, it is how you normally interact with the opposite sex.

The paradigm you inhabit colors your dating world: how you think about women, you interpret the signs and signals they give you, and how successful (or not) you are, in various situations, with various women.

Short Girls vs. Tall Girls: Which are Better to Hook Up with and Date?

Davi Diluna's picture

By: Davi Diluna

short girls vs. tall girls
Short women vs. tall women – who’s better on your arm, on dates, and in the bedroom? Davi took a year to compare the differences.

Last year, I tried a personal experiment: I slept primarily with short girls for 6 months, then I switched to tall girls for the next 6 months.

Before I began this research, I heard – as everyone does – a lot of mainstream ideas about short girls vs. tall girls: tall girls are more confident, difficult to get, and they only crave taller guys; and with short girls, sex is better and simpler, and they are just easier to get.

Well, after one year of diversified pick-up, I realized that all those ideas are wrong, so I decided to share my discoveries and practical advice on having sex with taller and shorter girls in this article.

And for your information, you curious and sexy GC readers, I myself am 5’8” (173cm), living in Western Europe. When I talk about short girls, I mean around 5’ tall (152cm); by tall girls, I’m talking my height or a bit taller, like 5’10” (178cm). But this article deals with both a girl’s height relative to you and her height relative to the average population, as each measurement has its own implications.

Also, girls in your part of the world may be taller or shorter on average. And in some parts of the world, height probably has more or less social stigma attached to it. This article is focused on the typical height ranges, not super-tall or super-short girls, and I’m sure there are other nuances not covered in this article (and a lot of potential debate to be had, haha), so I look forward to reading your thoughts, experiences, and opinions in the comments section.

Fasten your seatbelts, and let’s go!

Yes, Hotter Girls are Higher Maintenance

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

hot girls are high maintenance
Hot girls are (usually) higher maintenance. The reason? Higher dating market value means she can demand more – and will.

I had a beautiful, intelligent, ambitious girlfriend in the room with me when I finally got through to the state’s Department of Revenue to ask about a somewhat large tax bill I’d gotten. It was a weird tax situation, where I thought I’d paid all the taxes I owed, and yet I received this letter saying I had back taxes and need to pay now or they were going to come and get me.

So I called the department, got a very nice, jovial guy on the phone, he looked through my record, and was as stumped as I was. He admitted several times my case was outside his usual depth and he suggested I get legal counsel to look at this issue. He was as unsure about whether I actually was legally obligated to pay this tax or not.

Anyway, I got off the phone and my girlfriend, who’d been lying on the bed, said, “Well?” And I said well, the guy at the tax department doesn’t know either. So I can get some legal counsel and see what they have to say. Or I can just pay it and be done with it. Or I could...

And then she flipped out. “You don’t owe that tax. And you would just pay it? I just lost a lot of respect for you,” she told me. And then she stormed out of the room.

I didn’t have a chance to say well wait a second, I think there’s a pretty good chance I actually DO owe this tax. I didn’t get to mention that I just got new information and was in the process of processing my options, and since she asked me immediately she heard Chase thinking out loud.

She simply immediately sprung to, “He shouldn’t have to pay this. I think he is just going to roll over and pay it anyway. Therefore, he is weak. Thus, I am disgusted with him. Why am I with a weak man?”

(for the record, the odds I would actually pay something, no matter how large or small, without making sure I absolutely owed it first are near-zero. But I will not rule out an option until I’ve examined all my options)

I eventually explained the situation, and this girlfriend chilled back out. But not before she’d locked herself in a room to make it impossible for me to resolve the situation with her, leaving me to stew with the negative emotions she’d just dumped on me. Thanks, babe.

You might be thinking Man, that girlfriend sounds like a bitch! Well, every girlfriend I take has a low tolerance for perceived weakness. Yet it’s not just me either... every man I know with a genuinely hot girlfriend deals with stuff like this too. It is not a fluke; it’s a pattern: hotter girls are higher maintenance.

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 4: Picking Her Up

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

gay bar pick up
Once you’ve hit it off with a girl in a gay bar, how do you pick her up? By showing you’re straight, beating her tests – and turning her on.

Welcome to Part 4 of my series on meeting girls in gay venues. Here are links to the other articles:

The Endgame Guide: How to End Dates and Pickups in Bed

Pablo Garcia's picture

By: Pablo Garcia

seduction endgame
The endgame of a seduction is one of its’ most crucial points. How do you get her alone, sexual, and escalating toward the bedroom with you?

So you’ve got a hot and friendly girl in front of you at a club, but you don’t know how to take the next steps that will lead to your arrival inside her warm spring back at your place. Don’t worry, you are about to get some practical tips that will help you visualize the process, build your confidence, and get that hot girl horny and having sex with you.

If you have done much clubbing, you have probably found yourself in a situation where you have met a hot girl and wanted to bring her home with you, but making it actually happen seemed like a fantasy. You’re not alone! That’s why I wanted to put together a guide detailing some of my own quick and dirty tips to help you out.

This guide is primarily directed to guys who practice night game, but some of this stuff is also very helpful for bringing girls home and having first-day sex with day game.

Let’s get to it.

Tactics Tuesdays: Confusion Game (for Disinterested or Difficult Girls)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

confusion game
Some women are a lot harder to get than others. But if you keep them on their toes, in the dark, and following your lead, you can yet get them.

This is for more advanced practitioners of game. If you still ride seduction training wheels, don’t worry about this yet. You can circle back to this article and its contents once you’ve progressed a bit further.

Confusion game is the term I’ve long used to refer to a style of game focused on befuddling answers and high uncertainty. This style of game only works if you have strong fundamentals; and, in particular, it only works if you have a strong sexual presence. Women you use it with must be sexually interested in you.

The underlying premise of confusion game is this:

The mating process involves having a woman overcome or set aside her logical reservations, that she may indulge in her physical / sexual / emotional urges. By triggering the latter with good fundamentals and game, and disarming the former with thought-entangling confusion, you give her the ability to set logic aside and indulge in her desires.

Further, by keeping her in a state of confusion, you establish yourself as the unambiguous leader. You are the one who knows what’s going on and leads the way. She is in the dark, and must trust you and stick by you as you lead.

Confusion game is not a girl-getter in and of itself. If you are not too attractive yet, and you go around confusing women, all you will end up with is a bunch of confused women.

However, when coupled with an all-around solid seduction skill set, confusion game allows you to bypass too-logical reservations women have. It is a way to throw a wrench into a woman’s objection machine. And on top of this, it allows you to build and maintain a firm, unshakeable lead – you are, after all, the only one who actually knows what’s going on.

Why Do Guys So Often Take Girlfriends Right After Major Pickup Breakthroughs?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

pickup breakthrough
Like clockwork, a guy makes a breakthrough in game – then gets a girlfriend. And before he solidifies his gains, the gains are gone. Why’s this happen?

I talked to Hector the other day about a phone coaching student of his. His student had just begun to break through a barrier he’d been stuck at, began to get more and hotter girls, and then... he jumped into a monogamous relationship.

It’s a trend in seduction. I’ve witnessed it innumerable times over the past dozen years. I used to hear grizzled old veterans make dire warnings against it on hoary old seduction boards: “Be careful, because right when it finally starts to come together for you, that is when you’ll take a girlfriend and drop out of the game.”

A few years in, I’d see a guy pop back onto forums after having vanished for a year or two. And you’d see him and be like, “Oh yeah... that guy! I think he was just starting to get good before, right? What happened?” Invariably, he’d explain that he’d gotten into a relationship before, just as he was peaking... but now it was over, the girl and he had split up, and he was easing back into the swing of things again... except now he had to climb back up to that barrier he’d been breaking through a year or more before. And now he had to try to break through that barrier all over again.

And I would see this happen, time and again, and say to myself, “Why don’t guys just hold out a couple more months? Why not solidify their breakthroughs and make them permanent first? Why do so many men rush off to monogamy as soon as they break through? And how exactly do all these chicks identify the guys who hit new heights and so efficiently snap them up off the market the moment these guys break through?”

There are a bunch of questions here, and they’re worth looking into if you’re hard at work on your skill set with women... and want to make sure it’s a skill set you keep, rather than one you find yourself trying to recover lost ground in later on.

How to Set Boundaries Other People Respect

Denton Fisher's picture

By: Denton Fisher

how to set boundaries
If you want to be respected, you must set boundaries. But how do you set these, without looking reactive, defensive, or weak?

A former student of mine asked:

“Hey, Denton, how do you balance being grounded and not being affected by others while also not being weak, a pushover, or being seen as passive?”

How can you assert boundaries without appearing reactionary? When your girlfriend is acting up, you cannot possibly ignore her. If a guy is aggressively crossing the line, you cannot simply stand by. What is one to do?

These are great questions! And they are often a source of dilemma for many guys.

Well, I find the biggest misunderstanding is the huge difference between being grounded and being passive.