Lesbians?

Hi guys,

I'm new here, and this is my first post, but something that recently happened to me made me want to post this first.

So a week ago I was out with some buddies drinking hard, and we ran into a huge group of women also drinking way too much. I was chatting with most of the ladies trying to become a better conversationalist using the blog posts I've read from Chase (just bought the book today, plan on reading it tonight and tomorrow; I've read tons of the blog posts over 2012). Anyway, all of the ladies were giving me just yes/no responses. It was getting kind of frustrating because I couldn't figure out how to deep dive properly with such cold responses. However, the one lesbian in the group was chatting me up a mile-a-minute. Because I was drunk, I decided whatever and went for the kiss. We ended up making out without any hesitation from her, and afterwards she initiated us swapping numbers. We both had to part ways though because of our friends.

Naturally, I thought this was a fluke, but then later that night and all this week she's been texting me. I've purposely been trying to keep the texting short after reading the blogs, but I couldn't help try and build a tiny bit of rapport (I know this is a cardinal sin!).

For back story, I have never kissed a lesbian; this was the first and only time. In fact, whenever someone has told me they are a lesbian, I immediately try to turn flirtation down low. I imagine lesbians get tired of guys hitting on them, and I want to respect that. Also, I have been best friends with a couple of lesbians (long-time partners) for a few years now, and they have always told me that even lesbians like to "bone" occasionally. For me, that never made sense, and I just wrote it off. Surely a woman would say "bisexual" instead of "lesbian."

However, just a couple days ago, I read https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-get-first-date-sex-girls-every-date, and the part about women using emotion but dressed with logic lit a light bulb in my head. If a woman has sex with mostly women (but still has sex with men), then they probably still consider themselves a lesbian. It's kind of like if for the most part you are good (haven't killed someone, stolen, etc.). So if someone asks you "are you a good person?", you would probably say "yes" assuming that people just know that you have done bad things. Women perhaps just assume you understand what they mean by "lesbian" based on society, vocal tone, facial expressions, etc. I don't know, maybe I'm just rambling here.

Anyway, she has been texting me, but the texts feel like "buddy" texts to me, not texts coming from an interested girl. There have only been a few "suggestive" texts. It's not a big deal to me if this goes somewhere or not, but I'm wondering what advice you guys have for lesbians if any? I've never seen a blog post about it (or I missed it). Should I try to meet her one-on-one (like after work) before the group thing tomorrow night? What do you suggest I try tomorrow night? Do you think it's possible for me to go in for the kiss again?

Thanks!

Fortune favors the bold. With that said, I would go for it. Do you really want to be buddy-buddy with her or do you want to show her how a real man does it? The worst thing she could do is reject you, but at best, you seduced a self-proclaimed lesbian. If anything, it is a whole lot better than doing nothing. You like challanges, so why not take this one for a spin? If she really didn't want you, why would she be thinking about you enough to text you? Positive thoughts, slow smart moves, and Pinot is on his way. Good luck, amigo.

Thanks mate!

This is something I really need to remind myself at all times:

tensionisheld said:

Fortune favors the bold.

Click to expand...

Unfortunately, we already went out as a group; I should have done one-on-one. I invited her to come with me and some friends to a local concert. It went okay, and it was good practice for deep diving. After talking with her more in depth, I feel like she's a bit too much "like a guy" to turn me on anymore though (it's hard to explain; her face was sexy feminine, but her clothes that night were also more guy-ish -- guy jeans/shirt/etc.). She's still cute, and I could pursue sex if she'd even be into it, but I think I may just put this on the back burner and maintain a friendship.

Here's a couple of things I learned:
- Just talk normal. One of my friends (girl) kept asking about the lesbian thing, and I could tell she was getting uncomfortable. I just talked to her like normal and never brought it up, and I think she liked that a lot.
- Talking about how attractive other women are at the concert helped. I remember reading Chase's blog about "we" versus "them" mentality. So I think this was getting her turned on a bit while also relating to me, and she got a bit "touchier" with me during it (maybe jealous? not sure).
- I bought her a drink, and she was a bit shocked. She didn't ask me, and I didn't tell her I was doing it. I just bought a drink and brought it back and told her it was just for coming out. This may have been a bad move (being the "provider"), but I think she was definitely not used to guys doing something like that for her. Not sure if this hurt me or helped me.

Hey Pinot,

I'd treat this girl the same as any other girl, and get her out somewhere the two of you can hang out, then take her home. Don't kiss her again until you're alone with her; every time you do, the chance you get her alone and make something happen goes down.

There are a handful of lesbians who are "true" lesbians: these typically you can identify by their large, rotund bodies; very short hair; and efforts to talk, look, and act like a man. They won't kiss you because the very idea is horrifyingly disgusting to them.

The rest of the "lesbians" out there are what I call "fake" lesbians; basically, women who found sex with men unsatisfactory because most men weren't getting the job done for them, and then they stumbled into sex with women and realized that women are more attentive, gave them sexual satisfaction, and had other benefits. So, they started calling themselves "lesbians," and proclaiming (partly out of bitterness) that they were "through" with men. Every now and again though, they meet a man who excites them and makes them feel desire, and sometimes they even chase after that man.

If you're good in bed, it just takes one roll in the hay to "show these girls the light" and convert them back to liking men again. You've essentially got to prove them wrong on their beliefs about men and sex.

You can't game them in front of other people, because they have a reputation to uphold as lesbians. If a woman's forced to choose between you and her reputation, she'll choose her reputation every time, so when you game a "lesbian" too obviously in front of people she knows she'll tend to blow you out.

This is why you'll want to get her alone, and then lead her to sex... denying all along that that's what you're doing, of course. "I'm a lesbian, you know," she may say, "I'm not into guys." And you'll say, "Oh, I know; trust me, you're not my type at ALL."

And then - whoops! The two of you become lovers. How'd that happen?

Chase

Thanks Chase.

You just managed to explain in 1 post what I've been 'racking' my brains trying to understand for a while.

Thanks for replying Chase!

There are a handful of lesbians who are "true" lesbians: these typically you can identify by their large, rotund bodies; very short hair; and efforts to talk, look, and act like a man.

Click to expand...

When I first met her, she was cute, dressed as a "straight woman," etc. She does have short hair (I like the "fairy look" for some reason though), but is slim (call me shallow, but not into fat girls at all). Next time we hung out, she was dressed as a straight boy and deep-diving revealed more of herself acting as such... This threw me for a loop. But after reading your response, maybe this was purely reputation the 2nd time since it was a group thing again. I've only hung out with her twice, and I should have done as tensionisheld said and got her alone in the 2nd...

This is why you'll want to get her alone, and then lead her to sex... denying all along that that's what you're doing, of course. "I'm a lesbian, you know," she may say, "I'm not into guys." And you'll say, "Oh, I know; trust me, you're not my type at ALL."

Click to expand...

This sounds perfect. If I see her again and she attracts me, I may even use this in order to get a date if I can't get her alone.

However, the 2nd meetup definitely turned me off for now; it was like night and day. I think I will still pursue a friendship if she's keen. I actually texted her last, and she hasn't responded in a few days. I assume she's either busy getting it on with women, doesn't see me as a lover or a friend, or just busy in general. I'm not going to text again though until she texts back, just in case

Thanks guys; I feel like I'll be better prepared for a "lesbian" in the future.