Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How Driven Must You Be to Succeed at Seduction?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

drivenness and seductionMust you be driven to succeed at seducing women? It depends how far you want to take it. Also discussed: success in other areas of life vs. with women.

I'd like to talk today about 'drive'. Drive to greatness in anything, be that seduction or anything else.

If you don't care about greatness or aren't seeking it in anything, the discussion in this article is moot to you. You don't need to be great to get girls. You can use the material on Girls Chase without needing to be some legendary seducer and still enjoy as much success as you want.

However, we also get guys coming here who want to talk about greatness; so let us talk about that.

I see this issue raised from time to time that asks whether focusing on women is a distraction. Learning to find, approach, talk to, flirt with, ask out, and bed women may be pulling a man off his grander purpose(s), goes the reservation.

There's some truth to this, of course; when you're very focused on women, you won't tend to be focused on whatever else you are doing.

However, there's another truth, which is this: the rate men succeed at seduction has a lot more in common with the rates they succeed at other passions in their lives than it 'takes away' from such things.

Because, you see, there are underlying factors that impact how well a man does and how far he goes in this art... and many of these underlying factors have a great deal of overlap with other areas of that man's interests.

Rather than seduction 'pushing them out', it's more the case that a man who is sufficiently driven will tend to excel in seduction alongside a few other areas of excellence too.

Advanced Calibration: When to Spike Emotion & Arousal, Pt. 1

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

when to spike emotionEmotion spikes and arousal spikes are potent tools you can use to push seductions forward. But when exactly should you use these with women (and when NOT)?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today I will go over some advanced calibration techniques. I’ll discuss how to calibrate arousal and emotional spikes properly. It is advanced because it goes beyond basic calibration theory and practice. You will learn how to:

  • Calibrate according to the vibe of the group (or girl)

  • Calibrate according to her response

  • Calibrate according to the setting

  • Calibrate your timings to hit when the iron is hot and when you hit a high note.

These are the fundamentals. You cannot get good at this game if you do not master these—it just won’t happen.

The above rules of calibration are elements of game that you can never become good enough at. Remember, you can always become more calibrated, sometimes to insane levels where you almost always play your cards right with the right girl at the right time.

Need help on this? Then check out my series on calibration.

Consider this post an expansion pack to that series. This post also builds upon previous posts on advanced seduction. Feel free to check out those, although I would prioritize the calibration series.

Let’s identify when you should spike a girl (create an emotional spike) and when you should not do so. Missing this crucial window could, at best, slow down the process and make things harder for you. At worst, it can cost you the interaction.

So, we will dive into the topic by discussing the pitfalls of overstimulating.

Teasing Girls to Their Friends

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

teasing a girl to her friendsIf you meet a group where the friends are receptive but the girl you want isn’t, what do you do? Simple: you win over the friends, and tease the standoffish girl.

This is more of a technique for higher intermediate to advanced seducers, though lower intermediates can toy around with it too (though expect to fail a lot).

Beginners should not attempt this... it will just blow up your face as a beginner.

However, for today, let's talk about a flirtation tactic that can be quite powerful yet requires finesse.

The tactic in question is teasing women to their friends.

This tactic is POWERFUL at achieving a few distinct things:

  • Building camaraderie with a woman's friend group, so they like you and won't cockblock you
  • Establishing yourself as a part of a woman's group, so you appear more 'friend-approved' to her
  • Creating a teasy-flirtatious vibe with the woman you like even if she's resistant to you
  • Grabbing some social rank in a woman's friend group where you position her a bit beneath you

The effect of it all is that, when executed right, the girl you want will start to chase you, no matter how closed off she was before.

Note: a lot of the basic theory behind this works exactly the same as the old school PUA neg. We're just doing slightly more fun teases, instead of using backhanded compliments.

However, because of the risks of both teasing someone you're not engaged with, and the social rank grabbing you'll be doing, this one's also a bit tricky.

You see, people don't like strangers opining about them, and they don't like you status jockeying with them, either, especially not in their own groups. Because it's her group, she has home turf advantage, too.

So, annoy her too much, and you may quickly find yourself shut out of the group, regardless how much the others laughed at your ribbing of her.

Thus, this is a tactic that is often very useful -- but with which you must be careful.

Why Autistic People Struggle with Dating: Mind Blindness

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

autism and datingMen with Asperger’s struggle with “social confusion.” Others often behave in ways that seem irrational to them. Why is this so, and is there anything they can do?

I write this article for every guy on the autism spectrum, whether he's on it a little or on it a lot.

I'm not an expert in autism or Asperger's, but I will say this: after coaching social skills for a dozen years on a site that attracts many folks on the spectrum, due to

  1. said folks really needing social skills training, and

  2. this site being more drilled-down and nuanced than any other site (something of particular appeal to autistic folk)...

... well, when it comes to the autism spectrum, I know it when I see it.

I'm going to focus on Asperger's in this piece; that is to say, high functioning folks on the autism spectrum with normal language and intelligence who, nevertheless, have a significant social stumbling block.

I want to lay out some of the (very) common stumbling blocks I see Aspies making, again and again, when they start learning dating, and I want to highlight a missing 'sense' these men have, that they may not realize they're missing, that, at least, the knowledge of its lack can help fill in some blanks for them.

Advanced Calibration: Gleaning Information About a Girl

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

girl information gatheringTo calibrate to a woman, you must be able to glean the information from her you need to make your adjustments. What information do you need, and how best can you use it?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today I would like to talk about calibration. Long ago, I wrote a series about calibration:

  • Part 1 – How to calibrate to a girl, her vibe, actions, and reactions to your moves (an essential part of calibration).

  • Part 2 – How to calibrate according to the context: the social and logistical setting (how isolated you are) and the logistics of her group (her friends and social circle).

  • Part 3 – How to calibrate your timings. Not all moments are ideal for making a move, setting a frame, escalating, or isolating, so hit the right timing for max success. An important difference between intermediate players and advanced guys? Advanced guys hit on the right timings and get rewarded.

I wrote two more posts for this series about personality types that could assist you (I do not consider her “personality type” a reliable factor for calibration).

Today’s post is truly essential to calibration: information.

You cannot calibrate if you go in blindly, or else you’ll make many mistakes. You need information to calibrate. Without information, you have no way of knowing whether you are making the right move, escalating fast enough, or going in too slow.

So, let’s discuss the role of information: how you acquire it and use it.

Women Have Different Rules for Attractive Men

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women rules menWomen sort regular guys into stereotyped boxes to know what to do with them. But make yourself sufficiently attractive, and these rules no longer apply to you…

For years, a war has raged in the seduction space between experienced and inexperienced seducers.

Inexperienced seducers have opined on all the reasons women are not interested in men like them.

Experienced seducers, meanwhile, have stated that women do not care at all about these things inexperienced men pin the blame for their lack of success on.

Things like looks, race, national origin, wealth, height, physique, and more get bandied about by the inexperienced as reasons women accept or reject men, yet rejected by the experienced as remotely valid at all.

Furthermore, inexperienced men will complain that women do not want to be approached, insist on men paying for dates, won't date you if you don't adopt the provider frame, and always insist on using condoms.

Experienced men will tell you women love to be approached, will often pay for dates themselves, are easiest to date for men who aren't providers, and will often be the ones suggesting you not use condoms themselves.

Why is there such a disconnect between men who aren't experienced with women and men who are?

Which of these men are living in a delusion... and which men aren't?

To answer this question, we must look at a simple truth of women's, and that truth is this:

Women have different rules for attractive men than they do other, more regular men.

Tactics Tuesdays: Rapport-Breaking Pattern Interrupts

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

rapport-breaking pattern interruptsA fun little way to break conversation patterns… and get women to chase you. Intrigue her, interest her, and help her realize there are mysteries about you to uncover.

Just a small little tactic today:

Pattern interrupts you can use to break rapport.

People Who Take Social & Sexual Risks Look Cool

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

social and sexual risksCan you preserve your value by not taking risks with women or people? The truth is you can’t; social and romantic value is predicated on risks.

There's a recent post on our forum where a forum member claims seduction is dangerous for men because at some point in the seduction a man must make a big, risky move and "give up his power."

The member cites a few instances he says are examples of this:

The sexual inuendos, the sexual misinterpretations and sexual overload techniques, etc They all show intent and give the power away. For example

"You turn me on so much when you do that [whatever] or wear that [whatever]". You then inmidiately give her the chance to reject your intention and make you drop your social value if she responds something like: "Yes but Don't get any idea. It wont happen [and she walks away].

If there are friends or people around, they will think "You are such a Loser".

I mean, every time you escalate you are giving your power away.

Thus, men are confronted with a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation, he says:

Hold your value and not get laids Or Risk Your value but You increase the chance to get a laid.

Pretty tough choice he's lain out for men, isn't it?

Either you're a valuable dude forced to go woman-less, or you're a potentially-devalued dude who gets women.

Yet, nevertheless, this thinking on how value works, and how other people assess yours, is deeply flawed.

It is, in fact, not how "other human evaluations of your value" work at all.

Why Do Women Scream During Orgasm?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

why do women scream during orgasmWhy do women scream during sex? One theory claims it’s to draw other males near for sperm competition. But does this actually happen in real life?

I had a conversation the other day with a friend about women screaming during orgasm.

He told me about a hypothesis he'd encountered in the (idealistically egalitarian-utopian, not to mention panned by scholars) book Sex at Dawn that women yell during orgasm to attract competing mates for sperm competition.

Right on the face of it, this hypothesis has always seemed obviously incorrect to me.

First off, not to brag or anything (although I guess it's going to sound that way... can't be helped though, eh?), I've made a lot of girls scream quite loud from sex, yet I've never had a guy knock at my door and ask if he could have her next.

Second off, I've heard plenty of women I wasn't having sex with screaming, yet never has the urge come over me to knock on the couple's door and tell the man to beat it because it was my round with her now.

Third, I have never heard a single story in all my life and all the very many sex stories I have heard from the tons of men I've known in the seduction space of even a single man being chased off by another man following the first man's woman engaging in orgasm vocalizations.

Not even among hunter-gatherers, who are the cheerily idealized subject of the Sex at Dawn book, have I come across any evidence of moaning women attracting competitor males who chase off the guy making the woman moan and take her for themselves.

The "female sex vocalizations attract competitor males for sperm competition" hypothesis seems to describe a behavior that is completely absent from humans from anything I have ever actually seen or heard both firsthand and from others from anywhere else in the world.

Yet, when I dug into the research on women's sex vocalizations a bit more, I discovered some interesting tidbits that do tie in, a bit, to the Sex at Dawn theory -- although, I think, not quite in the way the authors framed it (at least, not based on the synopses I've read, not having read the book).

Does Dick Size Matter When It Comes to Getting Laid?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

dick sizeHow much does dick size affect your ability to get laid? Can girls tell your dick size before you hook up with them… and what happens once the clothes come off?

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I want to put the nail in the coffin on an old discussion that seems to re-occur on seduction forums, on the web, and in face-to-face discussions between men.