Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Do Girls Always Know Your Intentions?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

do girls know your intentions?Caption

Hey and welcome back.

After finishing my latest series on indirect game, I’ve decided to make a few more posts covering aspects of the topic that did not make it into my series or respond to questions and comments that I have seen in the comment sections.

Today I want to debunk the idea that women are always aware of your intentions, as if they were ultra-intuitive super-computers.

This flawed argument is often used as a sort of counterargument to indirect game.

The argument goes as follows:

“What’s the point of going indirect, if she knows that you are hitting on her anyway?”

Followed up with:

“So, you might as well be direct about your intentions.”

I see this argument often, and every time I read it my eyes hurt.

There are false beliefs involved in this line of thinking.

I always wonder how this idea first appeared.

It seems to be a form of projection of male thinking onto women (yes, we are wired differently). And yet I have no clear idea where such notions came from.

What I can say is that this line of reasoning is wrong:

  • The first dimension is that "women can sense what your true intentions are – they can sense you are hitting on them". This is false, although there are some nuances

  • Even if we were to assume the above is indeed correct (or that elements of it may at times be true), then it is still not a reason for going direct

So, on both levels, the whole argument is flawed, and this line of thought can be safely thrown into the wastebasket.

This is what this post is about, debunking this line of thought by discussing these two dimensions.

That One Special Girl

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

that one special girlA forum member spends over a year pining over a girl he likes yet never talks to. What can he finally do to get things moving?

I found an interesting post on Skilled Seducer, the Girls Chase forum.

If you’re not yet a member, it’s a great place to go for guidance, to make friends, or share what you’ve learned on your journey.

If you join, you might get personalized advice from guys like myself, Alex, Hector, or even Chase.

I'll use this post to highlight a ubiquitous and unfortunate problem for a great many men, who find themselves pining away, waiting in vain:

The problem of that one special girl.

Solving this problem means rescuing yourself from the chain of torture, paralysis, and perpetual waiting for things that never come to pass.

 

Tactics Tuesdays: Teach Her Things

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

teach your dateHere's a nice little tactic to get girls you meet and go on dates with to follow your lead and view you as an authority figure: teach them to do things.

One major attraction switch for women is male authority.

If you can show yourself to be an authority to women, they desire you more.

In particular, if you establish yourself as an authority over a woman, she will desire you a lot.

There are numerous ways to establish yourself as an authority in a woman's world... but one of the easiest is to teach her things.

For this Tactics Tuesday, we'll discuss tactically teaching girls things to bring them under your authoritative spell.

When a Girl Wants to Stop Seeing You in the Early Relationship

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl wants to stop seeing youEarly on in a relationship, women may sometimes start to doubt things. If a girl you've been seeing decides to call it quits though, you've got some options.

A reader recently brought up a situation in which a girl he'd recently started dating and sleeping with pulled a 180 and announced she'd rather they just be platonic friends.

Commenting on my article on dealing with LJBFs ("let's just be friends"), he says:

Hi Chase,

Great article!

However, I'm having a difficult time identifying which type of LJBF rejection I received in the current situation I'm in. I recently had sex three times with a coworker. We've known each other for two years but only recently started hanging out because she switched projects and no longer worked closely with me.

I will try to describe the series of events as clearly as possible.

We've hung out 4 times over the span of three weeks. Three times were exclusively at my place (2 of the 3 times we had sex) and the final time we went on a hike. Since we've been hanging out, the girl has been giving me a few signs hinting that she wanted a relationship with me although I never brought it up. First, she told two of her old coworkers that we hooked up. Second, she told me she hadn't had sex all year until we finally hooked up—leading me to believe she's a serial dater. Third, she invited me over to her apartment for breakfast with her sister, her sister's best friend, and the best friend's husband. Since we've only been seeing each other in a sexual capacity for three weeks, I told her I was busy Saturday and could not make the breakfast; however, I suggested that we go on a hike together Sunday which she accepted.

The hike was a lot of fun, she has a cool personality and we were able to talk freely with each other. At one point, we sat at this little cove we discovered and made out. Everything seemed fine. However, on the car ride home, when I suggested that we pick a new show to binge watch together this week, the girl said she thinks it's best that we be platonic friends. I was taken by surprise a little and was driving so I didn't really react to this as well as I would have liked. But the conversation seemed off to me in the first place. I figured we were just having fun and keeping things super casual, so there was no need to have this type of conversation. Her response made me believe it was about the sex we had.

If I had to describe the sex, I would have to say it was mediocre at best. Mostly due to us getting to know each other. I also think this is compounded by the fact that she knew about the great sex I used to have with an ex-girlfriend of mine and probably had very high expectations. In the car she tried to assure me that this was not the case, that she enjoyed the sex but just didn't feel a spark between us—but at the same time I wasn't hanging out with her to date her so why would there be a spark.

Ultimately, this most recent interaction has me confused and left wondering if there is something I can learn from the situation. Any help would be appreciated!

At first this seems a bit puzzling, right?

Because we know that usually, once a girl's slept with you two to four times, she's 'converted'; that is, she now views you and her as being in a sexual relationship.

You aren't dealing with all these doubts and objections any longer.

Read more: How to Convert One-Time Sex into Regular Sex

convert a girlUsually it takes only 2-3 times.

Yet sometimes, even past the point of conversion, you'll continue to have to deal with women who are on the verge of ending this connection they have with you.

So... what gives?

Why do girls want to stop seeing you after they've already gotten together with you?

5 Signs of Interest Women Give that Aren't

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women's signs of interest that aren'tWomen put a lot of signals out there. Yet, there are things women do that men THINK signal interest to them… but nevertheless are distractions.

We've talked a lot about ways women signal their interest in men.

However, as big a problem as missing women's signs of interest is, there's another problem under-discussed in the men's dating advice space: mistaking as signs of interest things that in fact aren't.

What's wrong with mistaking signs of interest? I thought you were supposed to assume attraction anyway, you might say!

Well, that's right, you are.

Nevertheless, if you recall from our discussion of the importance of the similarity of interest, the interest you show a girl should closely match what she feels.

If you show a lot more interest than what she feels, because you incorrectly judged her to be more warmed up than she was, you risk of burning out the courtship before it begins.

To help you not do that, in today's article we'll look at the most common behaviors of women's that men incorrectly think show interest -- so you can recognize these yourself and not get fooled.

Indirect Game, Pt 3.: Escalating the Vibe

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

indirect gameNow that you've gone in indirect, and increased her compliance, it's time to make a move and escalate the vibe.

Hey guys. And welcome back.

Today we will continue and bring to a close our series on indirect game.

Previously we discussed how to show interest the right way when using indirect game — When? How much? How? — while keeping your interest levels in her unknown or ambiguous (depending on your style) to make her curious, compliant, and eventually get her to start chasing you.

Then we discussed how to reinforce this method by using a reward and punish mechanism. Women are attention-craving, and whenever a woman acts compliant to you (for instance, by showing interest), you reward her with attention (for example, through escalation). If not, you punish her by cutting her source of validation (like ignoring her for a while).

Indirect game is a fantastic way of meeting and seducing women. It allows you to build compliance unbeknownst to the girl because of your ambiguous indirect stance. If being indirect fails to get her compliance, it can at least buy you time — since you do not force early rejections — to use other compliance-building techniques, like sex talk, to turn a less favorable situation around.

It is easy to overfocus hiding your interest in a girl to avoid feeding her attention-craving needs and keeping her compliance levels up. What usually happens is guys risk being too passive. Things don’t escalate, and nothing happens. This is a trap I fell into when I started out, and I know many fall into it.

Good indirect game is not the equivalent of being passive. At some point, you have to make a move, or it will all go to waste.

Today we will discuss the importance of escalating the vibe vibe and clarify what may seem like a contradiction: keeping your interest levels ambiguous (being “indirect”) while escalating the vibe (making a move, seemingly being “direct”).

We will also cover how indirect game helps you lay the groundwork for escalating the vibe and how indirect game can help you whenever she resists.

Tinder VS Cold Approach: How Do They Compare?

Frankie Bismarck's picture

By: Frankie Bismarck

tinder vs cold approachDating apps are increasingly becoming the de facto way many people meet their mates. But how does online compare with real world approaching?

I have been an active seducer for the past decade, and a few weeks ago I decided to try my hand at Tinder for the first time.

Let me detail why I think this is not the best vehicle for securing sexual relationships with beautiful girls.

Tactics Tuesdays: Dating Second Chances

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dating second chancesIf you want a second chance in dating, you'll have to convince your date to give you one, first… Fortunately, that's often easier to do than you might think.

Who says there's no second chances in dating?

I just coached a guy through a situation where he's encountering a lot of "I'm just not feeling it" and "we just don't have chemistry" objections from women.

Compliance Tests for Attracting Women

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

compliance tests for attractionAttract her more with the aid of compliance tests. Get her to work for you, and suck her in.

Some wise man said that all pickup is compliance.

Oh, that was me.

Tony, What the F$*K is compliance exactly? I’m glad you asked.

Indirect Game, Pt 2: Making Her COMPLY with You

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

indirect gameIndirect game's strength comes from its reliance on ambiguity… which ignites a woman's curiosity about you, the mysterious man she can't seem to faze.

Hey there, and welcome back.

Last week, after sharing why I do not believe in direct game, I started my indirect game series, discussing what it is and how it is run.

For our purposes, indirect game is a form of seduction where:

  1. The seducer keeps his level of interest ambiguous until the girl starts showing interest (usually starting the interaction showing her little to no interest)

  2. The level of interest (and disinterest) you show her is proportional to the girl and the circumstances

  3. The way you show interest remains ambiguous, providing you with flexibility

The idea is to calibrate your actions to the girl.

When mastered, indirect game leads to better meet-to-lay ratios (higher chances of you getting THAT girl as opposed to any girl after many approaches). This is because you calibrate things to the girl.

You maintain more control over the frame of the interaction, so she is more likely to chase you (if done right), giving you a higher chance of generating compliance, making it much easier for you to escalate the interaction toward sex.

Today I would like to discuss compliance a bit further.

Compliance is how willing she is to follow your lead. We can break it down into three categories:

  1. Her overall interest in you and her desire to act

  2. Her willingness to follow your lead

  3. The absence of resistance to the above

I’ll cover resistance in more detail next week when I talk about escalating the interaction to sex using indirect game. I’ll discuss how indirect game helps you avoid resistance and how to deal with it.

Today let’s focus on generating (and maintaining) compliance.