Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Is Cold Approach Pickup Right for Me?

Chase Amante's picture
is cold approach pickup right for you?Cold approach pickup – where you pick up a woman you didn’t previously know – can be tough. Who’s it right for… and are you a man who can learn to use it?

Commenting on my recent article about dumb moves guys make on dates (which itself is unrelated to cold approach, except that if you cold approach a girl you might need to take her on a date), a reader named Mr. Loco declares his unequivocal rejection of cold approach pickup, along with his feelings on who cold approach CAN be for:

I think I've had to come into a realization that I just came into. And it's a big one since I've been taught it since day.

COLD APPROACHING IS INEFFECTIVE

Here's my philosophy on cold approach. As a guy. You shouldn't cold approach women romantically at all unless you can answer these 4 questions. And Three of these questions relate to yourself. And answer honestly. If you can't say yes to at least 1 of these questions. Then you shouldn't cold approach.

Are you very physically attractive. And don't lie to yourself. Do you get alot of likes on social media on your personal pics? Do you get alot of matches on OLD? Do women often stop in their tracks when you show up? Do alot of women compliment you?

Do you have a shit ton of game? Are women always laughing your jokes? Can you smoothly transition from topic to topic? Can you easily find great conversation to talk about? Do you know how to easily emotional connect with the girl? Are you remaining somewhat mysterious? Can you get her to open up to you? Do you use very useful pickup lines? Are you smoothly flirtatious? Can you seductively talk to her that's sexy? Can you turn her own with your words? Can you easily overcome alot of logistical issues? Can you tease her in the right way? Do you know how to keep her guessing? Do you not how to be unavailable?

Is the woman that you want to be approach giving you heavy signals that she wants you to Approach. I guess this is kinda cheating because that would technically be warm approach. But if the women is giving you signals and not just her just being friendly signals. Do approach women if they trying to be super subtle. Because they are usually hard to read anyway. Don't waste your time.

Are you a glutton for punishment? Can you approach 100 women and not feel shit if every women rejects you? Can you go on 20 interviews not get the job and not give a damn?

If you said yes to one of these questions than yeah cold approach. However if you said no to all these questions.... Then no.. you should never cold approach. Its a gigantic waste of time.

I used to buy the whole stick on cold approach but Frankly. NO MORE. I think this is a VERY outdating concept that just makes men hate themselves even more and more with each passing minute. It's just a way for the only attractive men to improve their chances. It's not for most men. Because most men are not one of the four things. I think the new age of dating coaches should actually stop teaching this to young men. It's harmful more than anything.

The simple fact is that the vast majority of men who attempt cold approach pickup are going to wash out of it, like Mr. Loco here. It is not an ‘easy’ way to meet women as a beginner unless a guy already has a number of traits and skillsets developed coming in. Most men lack these; they enter cold approach like fresh babes, naked and screaming. Like fresh babes naked and screaming is also how most of them exit, too, often rather promptly.

I like Mr. Loco’s idea of a set of questions for determining “who should vs. should not try cold approaching women.” His are not the questions I would recommend though – so I will give my own take here.

Thus let’s talk about who cold approach IS for… and who it is NOT.

In so doing, we will answer the question, “Is cold approach right for me?”

Using Sex Talk During Seduction's Mid-Game

Alek Rolstad's picture
sex talk middle gameCAPTION

Hi guys. I hope you are all doing well.

Last week, I discussed how to (and if you should) introduce sex talk early in the interaction. Sex talk can increase compliance, set a sexual frame (crucial), and escalate the vibe. It can be challenging to introduce sex talk early, even if you talk about sex in a way that does not convey sexual intent and sexual interest. You don’t want to trigger potential resistance, so it makes sense to assume that talking about sexual subjects with strangers may be socially unacceptable (unless you calibrate properly; see last week’s post). Early sex talk is also prone to resistance, especially if done not long after the opener and during the hook phase before the hook point. I’ve written many articles about sex talk; see Sleazy Sex Talk vs. Sexy Sex Talk: What’s the Difference? for more.

For these reasons, I recommend introducing sex talk after reaching the hook point—after you have an interaction going smoothly with a girl, preferably in isolation. You can use sex talk in groups but will have to select lighter sex talk gambits as you don’t want resistance from any of the girls, as resistance from one may risk you the entire group. Even if your girl likes what you are saying, if her friends dislike you or your topic and can use whatever you talk about as a pretext to get rid of you, you are in trouble.

So, sex talk is ideally most helpful during mid-game, after isolation. It is the easiest and most efficient time to bring it up, especially if you are new to it. Even if you are not, it is still the safest and easiest phase to do it.

This post answers that question: What is the best way to use sex talk during mid-game?

How to Make a Girl Want a Serious Relationship

Chase Amante's picture
how to make a girl want a serious relationshipNot every girl’s eager to commit. Some seem like they NEVER will! Follow these 5 steps however & make almost any girl want a serious relationship… in time.

A year ago, a member of our forum shared a particularly tough case about a girl he wanted a more serious relationship with. This gal was a wild mare – sexy, exciting, full of life, and wanted her freedom more than anything in the world.

Our forum member wanted to make this woman want a serious relationship with him. Yet everything he did to try and rope her in merely pushed her further away. She reacted the exact opposite way he hoped – when he’d move closer, she’d pull back; when he’d talk about the future, she’d shut that down.

I have made something of a specialty of seducing vivacious women other men struggle to tame. The girls I date seriously all have spurned marriage proposals from in-love beaus in their pasts. Some of the girlfriends I’ve had weren’t sure (at least before they met me) that they ever wanted marriage. They all end up doing their best to finagle me into long-term commitment, and they all ended up angling for a wedding, a house, and a family, too.

Obviously, if all you want is casual relationships, no-strings sex, and FWBs, this guide holds no relevance to you. You can safely skip this and move onto other pieces. We have plenty more guides on the site on those other topics (here’s my guide to one-night stands. And my two-parter on FWBs: the 4 phases of FWB and the 8 FWB rules).

However, if you want to know how to make a girl want a serious relationship with you, read on, and allow me open up my box of seducer’s tricks.

How to Turn a Female Friend Into Your Girlfriend

Chase Amante's picture
how to turn a female friend into your girlfriendFriends can resist dating friends. But if you follow these 7 steps, it gets a whole lot easier to turn a female friend into your devoted girlfriend.

We get a lot of guys asking about this topic. My usual advice is to stop obsessing over that one special girl and go meet more girls instead! This does a lot of great things for you – both raising your confidence and training up your skills.

Also, you will generally end up meeting girls you really like sooner or later whom you actually do end up together with. It’s a win all across the board! It’s why my general advice for how to get a girlfriend centers on looking outside your immediate social circle.

But let’s say you’re just not ready to do that yet. You’re just not ready to give up this great girl – you’ve got to take another crack at her. Perhaps you’re not in a position to meet other girls… maybe you’re in the middle of nowhere and she’s the only gal around. Maybe you’re so slammed with schoolwork or work-work that you just don’t have time to socialize with anyone but her.

So, in this article, I’ll show you how to turn a female friend into your girlfriend.

If you want to pull it off, you need to do everything in this guide – no halfway attempts! If you do it halfway, you won’t make her your girlfriend, and she will just remain your friend.

For that reason, be sure you read the guide all the way through. Then, be sure you put each and every one of these steps into action.

Using Sex Talk to Hook Girls Early in a Conversation

Alek Rolstad's picture
sex talk as an early game hookSex talk can be used to hook girls in the early game. Its viability depends on a few factors – yet when viable you can use it to suck women right in.

Hi guys and welcome back.

Today, I’ll discuss sex talk calibration and how to use sex talk in the early game after the opener and during the hook phase.

First, I emphasize that sex talk has always been a mid-game technique to increase compliance, set sexual frames, and escalate the vibe. So, using sex talk as part of your hook gambit is a bit “off-label” (the pharmaceutical term for medicines used for something other than their usual purpose).

But sex talk can be useful as a hook gambit to immerse girls. For instance, after the opener, whether the opener is an embedded hook in the opener or a hook gambit. The goal is to get a positive reaction from your opener, and if not, you can use a hook gambit. It generates initial compliance, creates more interest, and gets the conversation going. We use hook gambits and other techniques such as assumptions/cold reads, group gambits, and storytelling to accomplish this.

This post covers techniques best suited for night game. In day game, sex talk is mainly used from the mid-game on, typically after isolating to an instant date, or at least, after a solid interaction.

7 Dumb Moves Guys Make on Dates (Which They Think Are Smart!)

Chase Amante's picture
dumb moves guys make on datesGuys do a lot of dumb stuff with girls. But the worst is when guys think dumb things they’re doing are smart! Don’t be guilty of these 7 bonehead moves.

Over on the forum we had a member post how a wingman of his told him it’s a bad move to let girls drive you around on dates. It leads to a “loss of frame”, the wing claimed, because then you are not in control of the car. You are under her power. His wingman further claimed that:

Also, anything can happen when a girl is in the driving seat, such as she can go to any place she wants that is not within my seduction plan. A girl's mind is emotional so her plans can change anytime, and we would like to reduce the chances of this.

This is some real dumb, keyboard jockey thinking on the wingman’s part here. As a guy who never, ever has liked to drive women around if he can avoid it – and hasn’t driven at all in many years now; in fact, my driver’s license is nine years expired, likely to never be renewed – let me just tell you: having women chauffeur you around is the best thing in the world.

And yes, you are more likely to end up in bed with them when they do the driving than you do when you do it.

But this article isn’t just about driving.

It’s about all the dumb moves guys make on dates (plus the initial approach too), which they think improve their positions with girls, that actually make things worse.

Tactics Tuesdays: Retroactive Discounting (Buy-In Tech)

Chase Amante's picture
retroactive discountingHow do you know if a girl likes what you’ve proposed – or if she’s likely to reject or flake on it? By using retroactive discounts to tell… that’s how.

I’ve had guys asking me lately about tactics for generating buy-in with girls.

So here’s one: it’s called ‘retroactive discounting’. Not my term; it comes from the psychology literature. It’s a name for a tactic we’ve all heard before, and possibly used: you offer to do something, and then couch that by saying you’re not sure if she wants to do it / maybe she doesn’t want to do it.

Like so:

We could grab drinks this weekend. Maybe that’s not your thing though.

Retroactive discounting allows you to recover in real time from an overly pushy or forward suggestion (e.g., one you made before checking her interests or schedule). But more importantly, it wraps a second consideration into your request – one where even if the girl is not available she can still express interest in you and commit to wanting to see you again.

You will use this one most often when you are zipping along very fast with girls (at least that is when I’ve always made the most use of it) – in other words, where you are aiming to do as much as possible in as little time as you can.

10 Ways to Raise Male Libido/Testosterone + 4 Things to AVOID

Chase Amante's picture
raise your libido & testosteroneThese unconventional science- and experienced-based tips from a skilled seducer will take your libido to the stratosphere… assuming you follow them.

Last week I talked to someone who’d just tried testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). He’s actively dating and bedding new girls, but he wanted an extra edge to boost his sex drive up even higher.

The result of his TRT experiment was not good: while on the therapy he found himself beset with anxiety until he finally quit and went back to normal.

If you’re living in the West right now, you’ve likely been trained to believe something like “the solution to any problem is to pump more laboratory chemicals into your body!” Pills, supplements, hormones, fortified foods, inoculations, patches, vapes, you name it. The only thing I’m not seeing pushed much these days is suppositories (maybe they’ll make a comeback though). Just find the right elixir and eat/drink/inject it in, and voila! Miracle cure!

A few hundred years ago, alchemy was all the rage in Europe, with people busily concocting mixtures and potions hoping to solve all kinds of biological problems, often resulting in injury or even death of the imbiber of said concoctions. We laugh at that now, then we turn right around and load ourselves up with pharmaceuticals that every year more and more get revealed to have some sort of disastrous (or even mortal) effect upon the body… and often the promised result is marginal, fleeting, illusory, or none.

This article ignores all the witches’ brews, alchemical formulae, miracle jungle plants, multicolored sea slug compounds, and Big Pharma-produced Wonder Drugs™ to give you tips to raise your libido by as much as you want using nothing more than your lifestyle.

Because, as we’re about to discuss, the problem men are having with testosterone and libido is NOT a “chemical imbalance” problem that needs fixin’ with yet more chemicals and hormones… it is a LIFESTYLE problem.

When You Can't Pull a Girl Due to Logistics, Use Push-Pull Barriers

Alek Rolstad's picture
push-pull logisticsIf you hit it off with a girl but can’t pull her because she has to mind her friend or there’s no private place to take her, what can you do? Use push-pull!

Hi guys and welcome back.

Not long ago, I wrote a post about how to run 2-sets, groups of two girls, one of the hardest groupings to deal with in pickup and seduction. Isolation is difficult in those settings because you cannot fully isolate without leaving her friend alone. It’s why going for groups bigger than three is easier (unless you are dealing with lone wolves). In my guide, I covered how to work with those settings. I won’t recap that here.

But in a previous post, I suggested a cool technique called a barrier that provides great effects when the logistics are not in your favor (for example, her friend does not want to leave so you have enough alone time).

I would love to drink some Rosé with you back at my place, but I can’t leave your friend behind.

The above example is one of the lines discussed. The idea is to use a push-pull strategy (Tactics Tuesdays: Push-Pull for Getting Girls) and show mixed signals, but the push here is a sign of interest indicating you’d like to do X or talk about X, but can’t because of Y reason (logistical).

I will discuss how this works plus provide a few examples.

Let’s go!

Why Must Men Work So Hard for Women? Are Women Worth It?

Chase Amante's picture
are women worth itA reader wonders why men must “jump through so many hoops” to get women. Are women even worth it? Why can’t men just be themselves?

Commenting on my article “What Women Want”, a reader from Bengaluru, India remarked:

I read this with an open mind but was kind of let down by the final conclusion. "What do women want? They want a man who has become what they want. And need." It made me wonder if thats the highest goal in life for a man?? I've chased women and I've jumped through the hoops. But its never enough, what work do they put in to impress or woo us that we need to bend over backwards to woo them. Change my whole being just to be whoever or whatever the fuck she wants me to be just so that I can experience some sex and physical love?? To feel that I too am wanted loved and desired? That I am beautiful too?
Isn't my masculine essence enough for them?? Can I not just be who I am in my essence and attract from there?? why do I need to jump through so many hoops??

He might hail from India, but he may as well be from the West, because I’ve been getting comments like these from men in the US, UK, Canada, Australia, and Western and Eastern Europe. I get them from other parts of the world as well, like Africa, the Middle East, Asia, and South America.

The remarks all condense down to sentiments such as:

  • “Women aren’t worth all this work.”
  • “Women aren’t worth the effort.”

Sometimes women are said to be not worth it “anymore”, implying they once were, but no longer are. Other times women are implied to have always not been worth the effort.

When I read old books (as I am wont to do), I come across the sentiment sometimes there, too – men, hundreds or thousands of years ago, writing that in effect “women aren’t worth it.”

A sentiment this broad, held by so many men, across the world, across time, beggars the mind as one wonders how humanity could have survived with so many men considering women so “unworthy of it.”

Why must men work so hard for women? Are women worth the work?