Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

You Really Should be Having Sex

Chase Amante's picture

should be having sexShould you sleep with women you're not all that excited about, purely for the sake of the sex itself?

It's kind of a loaded question - isn't it?

It's one you encounter with guys who are new to the idea of approaching their success with women as a skill set - you'd like to be good with women, but you're not a crazy sex-aholic who's ready to jump on anything or anyone who'll take him, and in all honesty there's really only a small, select subset of women who really do it for you.

We've had a few questions to this effect recently on the site - here's Mike, on "Girl Has a Boyfriend? 3 Things to Do and 7 Things NOT To":

I'm almost to the point where I feel the need to buy sex, not so-much because I haven't had it in so long that it's driving me crazy, or that it will build my confidence, but merely because I sense the women I'm interested in ( all of whom have boyfriends) sense in me, to borrow an expression, a 40 year-old-virgin syndrome. I don't believe I can lower my standards, taking on a girlfriend I'm not sexually attracted to, merely to get in the game and end my prolonged period on the market ( I live in a relatively small community where everyone seems to know everyone else's business.) But do you advise that's what I'll have to do before I can land the big fish? Or do you believe there is some amorphous "clinical" benefit ( again, not related to building confidence) to getting laid once in a while even when you have to pay for it?

... and here's Michel, with a similar question a day later on "The 100 Hour Rule":

[W]ith my girlfriends before, I knew each and every time that we would be lovers in the first 10 seconds after meeting her. Then there is no question of approach anxiety or of bad technique (even though I'm sure that technique helps make the relationship better, and that all I read on this site will one day prove useful!). But without this feeling I really don't feel attracted to a girl. The idea of having sex with these random strangers I meet every day is even mildly disgusting.

Thus, we arrive at the beginner's dilemma: you'd really like to have more success with women, just... you'd like it to be with the women that YOU want to have success with, not merely whatever you can get.

So what do you do?

How to Dance with a Girl and TURN HER ON

Cody Lyans's picture

how to dance with a girlWhen you know how to dance with a girl in a sensual, sexual, not platonic, gentlemanly, nice-guy way, you’re at a huge advantage with women in parties, bars, and nightclubs. Dancing is a socially acceptable way to be in a woman's personal space and allow her to taste what you are like without her having to fear judgement.

It even helps you to turn a girl on in a fast, simple, and relatively harmless (and very socially acceptable) way.

The only question is how do you turn such a safe act into a seductive one... and leave her wanting more?

You really shouldn’t aim to be a “professional dancer” in order to impress women, because skill at dancing in and of itself is actually rather platonic (i.e., NOT sexually exciting to women) compared to what a seductive man can do under the veils of it.

Cold Reading Your Way to Great Conversations

Richard Wendell's picture

cold readingNote from Chase: after good feedback on his first piece appearing on the article side of the site, on properly setting expectations, Richard - who posts on the discussion boards here under the alias "Zphix" - started work on a few more articles, including this one, on cold reading techniques and usage. While we have an article up already on cold reading - see "Employing the Cold Read to Unlock Women's Secrets" if you're unfamiliar with the subject - this one from Richard explores the subject in a number of nuanced and specific other ways.


You’re no doubt familiar, at least in passing, with the gypsies of Medieval times; with tarot cards, palmistry, clairvoyance; and all the other “psychic” phenomena. Today we’re diving back into the wonderful art of cold reading to better enable you to have yourself a sweet (and magical) time with that sexy girl you’ve got in your sights.

Cold reading according to Wikipedia is defined as:

[A] series of techniques used by mentalists, psychics, fortune tellers, mediums and illusionists to determine or express details about another person, often in order to convince them that the reader knows much more about a subject than they actually do.

For you as a seducer, as a conversationalist, and as a ladies’ man, this is only partially true. Yes, you’ll be getting some information out of her via cold reading... but what you’re really doing is easing pressure, allowing for a deep dive, and building compliance.

4 Crucial Mindsets for Your Relationships

Peter Fontes's picture

In my recent article 'Scare Tactics and the Illusion of Control', reader Yink wanted to know how he could reconcile not using 'scare tactics' and still have his girl believe that he has options and that he can and will leave her if she doesn't act right:

Because Chase once wrote that you need to make her feel that you have other options and can leave at anytime if she is not treating you well. So should we use the scare tactic when we feel like she is slipping away in order to make her buckle up? Thanks.

The solution lies in having the right overall mental attitude instead of relying on individual techniques, thus the title of the article - mindsets vs. techniques.

mindsets vs. techniques

First off, let's have a look at the definitions of each, as a lot can be gleaned from them (definitions here from TheFreeDictionary.com):

  • Mindset: a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations

  • Technique: a practical method or art applied to some particular task

One has far-reaching implications for many behaviours and situations, and the other is simply one solitary method to carry out a single function.

So pitting mindset vs. techniques may look as if it's a battle between an over-arching concept of behaviour and single instances of behaviour, but in fact, it's actually a battle between two meta-mindsets: the mentality-seeking mindset and the technique-using mindset.

8 Red Flags She’s a Crazy Girl You Should Stay Away From

Chase Amante's picture

crazy girlIn my article "Why I Quit Dating Girls Who Club, Party, or Drink", Balla asks the following questions about spotting a crazy girl (so that he might stay far, far away):

How do you know if a girl is crazy before its too late? What early signs do girls show you?

How do you know you if a girl is lying to you about not being a club girl? Say if you met her during the day?

Don't club girls run around during the day too? How do you know you're not picking up a club girl during the day?

Now, that's not to say that all girls who head to nightclubs every so often are crazy (although... most of them are at least somewhat more narcissistic women).

What we're talking about here when we say a girl is a "crazy girl" is that she is a woman who's more likely to be unstable in a relationship. That's it. She may function perfectly in every aspect of her life besides romantic / sexual relationships, but that's unimportant to us here for our purposes - this website is about selecting women as lovers and long-term partners, and we're most concerned with how those women are going to serve in those roles, how they'll affect us, and how stable (or not) they're going to be in that position.

To make some of these red flags easier to spot, I'm going to break them down into different red flags across three distinct categories, which may or may not be controversial for some people... and if so, well, them's the ropes. We're simply looking for the most useful tool here for making general predictions about the effects a given woman is going to have on your sanity as a man down the line in a relationship of any variety with her.

The 100 Hour Rule

Chase Amante's picture

100 hour ruleIt occurs to me that there is a certain percentage of the readership here that has been reading Girls Chase for a fairly long time but not taking much or any action.

Some guys work on their fundamentals enough to get more attraction, but have difficulty ever talking to new women.

Some guys view all this self-improvement hoopla as something of a curiosity to be read about, enjoyed, and perhaps considered, but not something to be done, at least not right now.

Some guys meet women in their social circles, but not really in the way that Peter discusses in his series on social circle; more in a just freeform, unguided, I'll-meet-women-whenever-they-meet-me kind of way, that doesn't lead to a whole bunch of outstanding results but does lend itself nicely to ending up fixated on one or two women you just can't seem to get.

For those readers - all the guys who'd like to start, someday maybe, or even right now but just can't seem to get past their approach anxiety no matter how much they read or how much they do, I'd like to suggest something that's been a boon to me in skill building of all types, classes, and varieties: something I call the 100 hour rule.

How to Use a Wingwoman to Pick Up Truckloads of Girls

Colt Williams's picture

We’ve all heard of going out with a wingman. That one friend (or two) whom you can always rely on to have your back and give you that extra bit of courage to brave day game or the bars and clubs.

Your wingman evens the playing field and can help you bring home a pair of cute girls. But… not always. In fact, if we want to consider what actually happens, most wingmen won’t even help you some of the time. In most situations you’re much better off going out alone and finding both self-reliance and success that’s suited to you.

However, what’s not talked about enough is supercharging your success… with a wingwoman. This can be a fun and effective way to boost your results with women, and have a great time in the process.

wingwoman

Today we’re going to talk about the wingwoman method: why it works, whom to choose, and how to go about it for the best results.

Social Value and Value Imbalances

Chase Amante's picture

social valueValue's a frequent subject of the articles on this site - we talk about ways to increase your passive value and value and attraction a great deal, while reducing "active value" (trying to talk up your value - if you have to say it, it isn't true), and we also talk about screening women carefully to avoid bringing someone into your life who's going to be a value drain.

Your value to other people - social value - is highly subjective by person, but it's something very worth being attuned to. Value assessments are a crucial part to our daily lives - every person you meet, greet, or so much as lay eyes on you do a quick value assessment of, and likewise everyone who speaks with, interacts with, or gazes upon you, for even the briefest of instants, does a quick value check on you as well.

When we interact with someone else is where these assessments really come into play, and where value imbalances raise their ugly heads - and make things really interesting, from a "what do you want from me, and what do I want from you" point of view.

Your and Her Expectations in Dating and Seduction

Richard Wendell's picture

dating expectationsNote from Chase: Richard is one of our more active members right now on the Girls Chase discussion boards. He recently put a post up on expectations that was quite good, and a number of other members of the boards suggested he submit this to the article side of the site - and I agreed. If you like Richard's writing and would like to see more from him, please let us know in the comment section below.

I give you Richard.


Men new to seduction will frequently fall short of their expectations of what is to come, at first anyway. Chase touched on this concept in his article on lowering your standards. Now, aspiring ladies' men often create, or set very high, expectations for themselves early. Goals like "nail a perfect 10 early on", or "only approach perfect women" (or seemingly perfect, anyway). Most guys hear about the prospects of pick up, hear about the glory, the stories, the seduction of pick up, and hear about how it easy it can be, and immediately set high expectations.

Rather than propel them to the vaunted halls of legendary success in their dating lives, though, these early unrealistic standards can hem in and hobble them.

I fell to this tendency and could not have even begun to have told you about how crippling this truly is until today, now that I’ve moved past it and understand the inner workings of this twisted phenomenon, but that’ll come later.

When you set high expectations for yourself early on without having the proper skill to acquire them, as you start to fall short of your goals, depression sets in, and, oftentimes, you start to work on approaching girls and working to improve with women less and less, and may even quit altogether... like a couple of people I know have.

The remedy for this though, is to step-stone your way up to your expectations. Create smaller goals for yourself, and work your way up that ladder. If you want to nail a 10! Start with 5s, then 6s, then 7s, and so and so forth.

How to Use Sex Talk to Set a Sexual Tone and Mood

Alek Rolstad's picture

sex talkToday, I wanted to make a quick introduction to using sex talk in sexual framing after reading many requests from our readers. It seems sexual framing is a popular topic around here, and since there’ve been a number of requests for more information about this, I'm happy to oblige.

I thought that an introductory post into my methods for using sex talk and sexual frames, like this article, was in order.

Of course there is a lot more to say about the topic (oh man… so much more; you have no idea how much!) – so consider this just as a starter.

The purpose of this post is to give you an overall idea of how this all works. This will make it simpler for future, even more detailed pieces concerning this topic.