Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Girls' Dates & Exes Are Never as Perfect as You Imagine

Chase Amante's picture
girls dates are not perfectGirls will giddily talk up the guys they are (or were) going out with. Yet the actual man is never quite as impressive as the picture girls paint…

Several weeks ago a reader named Jason H. asked the following on my article about the reasons for there being so many single people:

Have you any advise in seeing things from the women's POV and feeling how women feel attracted differently from us men?

I've been reading Girlschase long enough to know that women and men at a GUT level are attracted to and prioritize different things.

The men part I GET at a deep gut/intuitive level when I read the articles. "I'm like yeah that makes sense!". Of course we prioritise youth and beauty. But I experience a cognitive dissonance to some extent when I read about what women prioritise with sexual attraction - because I don't FEEL the same way they do about dominance, humor, confidence & competence. These things don't turn me on at a gut level.

So I'm fighting the part of me that feels women prioritise - looks, height,muscles at low body fat or popularity. Dating apps (I'm not on it) but of men who are on it are competing with the only factor that's assessed on it -looks. So when I hear a female friend say I matched with a 6ft4 guy who is into martial arts he sounds like fun - it irritates me because I'm like well 'I'm pretty sure they value these other traits more' but they match a good looking guy or very tall guy and they are excited to meet him.

I want to be attractive enough so that women feel this same way more instantly. I've had good success by improving fundamentals and bedding women. The difference is it takes me longer to flip attraction triggers. I want it happening quicker and more passively.
I've come to realise is women have various attraction triggers and it's more complex than men.
- A tall man can trigger their attraction switch - which then can be built on
- A popular guy who is preselected can trigger their attraction switch (has happened to me several times)
- Dominance, humour, competence and confidence etc all can trigger it.

What I've come to realise is that men need a BUY-IN. So an average looking guy at average height needs to have excellence in SOME form that women value: showing competence at something they value fitness/sport/music/art or dominance/humour/popularity - whatever it is

Following your article on Tao of Steve I've focused on becoming excellent fitness/physique wise which has led to more attention from women: more stares, smiles,comments which is all positive. While working on fundamentals across the board.

Back to my original question.

I know these things are true. Even objectively I see women with men similar to themselves but less physically attractive.

Yet I'm struggling to overcome this part of me that's obsessed with thinking women's no.1 priority is this. All it takes is a face value comment from a woman saying they like tall guys, or that guy is easy on the eyes/amazing body. Yet I don't hear comments about that guy is so funny he turns me on. Or that guy is sexy (while also not referring to a handsome/tall/ripped guy).

How do I overcome this insecurity/cognitive dissonance?
How am I able to understand or FEEL what women feel at a gut level about attraction without PROJECTING my own feelings?

I really like the concept of talking about understanding female attraction at a gut level.

However, Jason H. brings up another point here, which I think is more important to address FIRST:

Namely, how people work to present an image of themselves as successful by playing up how awesome their dates and lovers are… and how if you aren’t careful you can get totally suckered by it!

Everybody does this… but girls do it more. Girls are the masters at it. Girls will tell you constantly how picky they are, how excellent their ex-boyfriends were, how refined their taste is. And the illusion will hold! … right up until you actually meet the guys these girls are going with (and say to yourself “Huh?!”).

So before we talk about understanding female attraction at an intuitive, gut level (which I still would like to talk about), FIRST let’s make sure we understand this equally important concept, that the way women describe their standards and the men in their lives and the way those men actually are tend to be two very different things.

Tactics Tuesdays: Thank You Dates (Using Gratitude)

Chase Amante's picture
thank you dateInstead of ask a girl out on a date, you can offer her one – as thanks. Frame your date as a sign of gratitude and change the frame on your dating.

What if there was a way to leverage the power of the social factor of reciprocity… and use it to actually get dates with more girls?

There is – we just need to use reciprocity the opposite way from how most men try using it with girls.

When your average man attempts to use reciprocity as a romantic tool, the way he does it is by attempting to ingratiate himself to women. His hope: if a woman feels grateful enough to him, that he has done so much for her and provided so much value to her life, she’ll finally agree to a date with him.

This is simple chasing of women, of course. It’s transparent; women see right through it; and studies show that women in general don’t feel too much need to comply more with men just because those men performed favors for them.

If we want to use reciprocity to get dates the seductive way, we can’t use the same (ineffective) approach to it normal men use.

We need to use it the seductive way.

How to Pick Up Girls Who Are on Vacation

Chase Amante's picture
how to pick up girls on vacationGirls on vacation can be some of the easiest girls to pick up. Of course, you must find them first… & know how to pick them up before they leave town!

It’s a little-discussed truth among cold approach practitioners: some of the easiest get-togethers you’ll get are girls you pick up on vacation.

Girls on vacation have a lot of things going for them as targets for your affections:

  • They crave memorable experiences and stimulation.

  • They know no one and are more open to new people.

  • They are present: alert, tuned-in, and out of ‘autopilot’.

  • Their schedules are typically wide open and available.

  • Often they arrived fantasizing about a tryst with a local.

  • They unworried about affects upon their reputations.

Compare this to a local girl who’s not on vacation: trapped in her routine, not seeking stimulation, much more closed to new acquaintances (she already has her local group of friends), non-present (running on autopilot), her day and week all planned out, fantasies pushed to the background, ever concerned about the reputation she maintains.

Picking up girls who are on vacation is basically switching your seductions over to easy mode. It’s why ‘pick up girls on vacation’ constitutes several of my recommendations in my guide to the top 7 ways to get laid and raise your notch count. There’s only one problem: how do you find those girls on vacation to pick up… and how to isolate them from the friends they’re vacationing with – then bed them before the vacation ends and they go home?

Wingman Guide, Pt. 2: 3 Potent Wingman Strategies

Alek Rolstad's picture
wingman strategiesGoing out with a wingman is good. What strategy should you employ while out though? There’s a lot more you can do than just “two guys approaching girls.”

Hey guys, welcome back. Last week, we discussed wingmanning and the basics of choosing a good wingman, which is critical. It can make or break your future interactions. We reviewed key rules to ensure smooth cooperation, which is equally critical whether you are a beginner or a pro; many underestimate this element.

Today, I’ll discuss strategies and give my take on wingmanning. I will start by debunking some misconceptions about winging by pointing out the flawed perspective that wingmanning is about you and a guy hitting on two women in the same group. Wingmanning can be this, but it is so much more. The classic view of wingmanning is the most complicated method to pull off and requires good overall pick up and seduction skills. I may sound slightly negative initially, especially if you are not at the level to pull off the “classic” wingmanning style. However, I will suggest different strategies that are easier to use but not necessarily less efficient, whether you are a pro or a beginner. These are especially convenient if you are a beginner or an intermediate player.

However, if the old school, hardcore style of wingmanning (“doubles”) is your thing, then similar to my previous post, this post is also for you since you will find helpful (and essential) information here. Worry not, I will soon have posts on doing doubles because I love it and have perfected it with my main wings.

When Women Behave Badly (& Act Immorally)

Chase Amante's picture
immoral womenSometimes girls just behave bad. From flaking on dates to stealing stuff or cheating on you… how best to respond to women committing immoral acts?

Commenting on my article about guys resenting women, Ano asked

Hey Chase,

like the article for perspective. Good stuff :)
The thing that gets to me and where I would be really interested in your take is when women actually act imorally, i.e. flaking 15 minutes before an agreed date or not turning up at all, cheating on you etc.
A perfectly Darwinian world doesn't respect the moral code of course, but of "good people" living in our society, you'd expect it. How is your view on when things like that happen, where the reason is the competition, but the women themselves still have responsibility morally?
Thanks so much

It’s an interesting question. Ano’s scenarios here involve a few different threads – morality, self-respect, boundaries. They also involve how you think about other people in general (both women and men), your levels of empathy, sympathy, and how accurate those senses are in you. Personal values on things like punctuality and sexual fidelity also play a big role.

Today, let’s talk about women behaving badly and doing immoral stuff (from being late to cheating on you), and how I recommend you think about such behaviors – and respond to them.

Tactics Tuesdays: "Is It True What They Say About X Girls?"

Chase Amante's picture
you know what they say about girlsTurn boring conversation into playful banter and open loops. Just ask her, “Is it true what they say about X girls?” with ‘X’ being something about her.

Let’s give you a simple little banter line you can use with pretty much any girl you talk to.

That is this:

“Is it true what they say about X girls?” / “girls from Y place?” / “girls who Z?”

… with ‘X’ or ‘Y’ or ‘Z’ being anything about her she uses to describe herself:

  • Age
  • Hobby
  • Career
  • Star sign
  • Place of origin

You can also make it a statement: “You know what they say about X girls…”

For instance, if she tells you she’s Greek, you say:

“Is it true what they say about Greek girls?” / “You know what they say about girls from Greece…”

She, of course, will be curious and want to know what “they say” about Greek girls.

That’s where the real fun begins.

2023: The Year in Review + a Look Ahead

Chase Amante's picture
2023: the year in reviewA listing of our BEST articles and videos from 2023, plus some stats for the year. Also include: the State of Girls Chase in 2023, and what you can expect in 2024.

It’s that time again: a new year when we look ahead, but also look back.

2023 was a year of little event, both on Girls Chase and in the world at large. Of course, there were wars (there are always wars), various people sued or jailed in various lawsuits (always happens), new scientific findings, natural disasters, notable deaths, and so on. But there was little to point to and say, “That makes this a year to remember.”

We had the alpha launch of my texting program Impulse Texting in 2023. But the new theme’s still not out (has it been four years of development hell now? This thing’s really turning into a bridge to nowhere… and don’t get me started on the expense…), Match Bringer is not yet released – and in fact is being retooled a bit, removing the focus on a nifty exploit we found (now patched) to instead focus even more on the factors that make girls most likely to swipe, match, message, and come out onto (successful) dates (we’re calling these, respectively, Swipe Triggers and Date Triggers), and I’m only about 40% of the way done my new book on romantic attraction.

In this review, we’ll take a look at what’s set to come. But before we do, we’ll take a gander at the content we’ve put out over the past 12 months.

Wingman Guide, Pt 1: Intro to Wingmanning – Basic Rules

Alek Rolstad's picture
wingmanning: introductionA wingman can be a great asset when you go out to meet girls. But the wrong wingman can play saboteur. Follow this guide & these rules to pick a GOOD one.

Hey, guys. In my last few posts on selecting nightlife companions, I’ve discussed going out with others versus going out solo, a subject discussed often. We’ve gone over selecting the number of people to go out with and choosing the right people to tag along with you.

We briefly mentioned wingmanning, and I decided not to delve too far into this discussion then. Those posts covered going out with people who may not desire to cooperate in your women-hunting endeavors because they are not wingmen but cool people who know many others, look good, and can increase your mood and value.

We concluded that it is best to:

  1. Go out solo.

  1. Go out in a larger group.

  1. Avoid going out in groups of three whenever possible.

  1. Avoid going out with one other unless he is your explicit wingman; otherwise, he will be in the way.

So, in this post, we will discuss the basics of wingmanning and the criteria for choosing the right wingmen, then go through different wingmanning rules. In the coming weeks, we will discuss more strategies and techniques to use with your wingman.

Last Chance to Be "Scaldingly Charismatic" in 2024

Chase Amante's picture
Charisma in a Bottle last chanceAt midnight tonight, the “Charisma In A Bottle” New Year’s special ends – and the discount + the limited edition “Sexual Charisma Manual” disappear. Get your copy NOW!

Today’s the final day to grab “Charisma In A Bottle” at $50 off and pick up my going-going-gone Sexual Charisma Manual. After today, our New Year’s special comes to an end – and with it, the price rises, and the Manual goes away.

In case you don’t know, “Charisma In A Bottle” (CIAB) is the breakthrough charisma program I released two years ago that turns an ordinary man into a magnetic powerhouse. It’s the only training on the planet that combines my 28 years of charisma experimentation and refinement with all the most piercing insights from scientific charisma research.

CIAB is both the most scientifically-accurate program ever put together on charisma – and the most actionable one, telling you exactly what to do, how to move, which ways to express yourself, and how to interact with others to build, maintain, and amplify your charisma.

Yet in under 24 hours, the chance to get this high-powered program, souped up and at a discount, draws to a close.

LOCK YOUR DISCOUNT IN – BEFORE TIME’S UP!

Charisma Breakdown: Ryan Reynolds

Chase Amante's picture
Ryan Reynolds charisma breakdownRyan Reynolds wields a puckish, irrepressible charisma he uses to easily place himself at the top of any social pile. This Charisma Breakdown shows how.

I first saw Ryan Reynolds on primetime TV in the show Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place. I was 15 years old, and instantly, I found myself hooked: Reynolds’s effusive, puckish charisma and his amazing humor sucked me in. “This guy is AWESOME!” I said. A few years later he starred in National Lampoon’s Van Wilder; he was hilarious in it and his charisma was off the charts. For years since I’ve described my seduction style (and this site) as “smooth, stylish, and irreverent; think Sean Connery mixed with a dash of Van Wilder.”

In 2002 (when Van Wilder came out) I fully expected Reynolds to become a humongous star… only to be disappointed as he landed B-movie role after B-movie role for over a decade. People Magazine naming him the Sexiest Man Alive in 2010 did little to help his career.

Of course, today, Reynolds is a bankable leading man; his star rose to the heights it’s still at after the 2016 hit movie Deadpool (based on a character described in the comics as “Ryan Renolds [sic] crossed with a Shar-Pei”… in 2004, five years before Reynolds ever played the character – the role was really just a match made in Heaven. Or in a comic book office by some writer as enamored with Reynolds’s charisma as I was. Take your pick). I feel vindicated Reynolds finally achieved the clout he clearly deserves – but almost like that was a given, given his rare and potent charisma, know what I mean?

Anyway, today, as part of our ongoing discussion of charisma – which is itself part of our ongoing New Year’s promotion of my course “Charisma In A Bottle”, which is pretty much the best training program you are going to find on charisma anywhere on the Earth (and you can pick it up at a discount + with a limited edition manual through this Saturday) – let’s break down what makes Ryan Reynolds’s charisma so good.