Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Break Up with a Girl Painlessly (Say These Words)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to break up with a girlA little while back, in the article on bitter women, JD asked a great question about the proper way to break up:

“[G]irls easily fall in love with me, and I'm not really considerate towards their feelings. Last time I broke up with someone it almost caused everyone to hate me... Obviously that's not something I'd like to happen. So how do you break up? How do you leave women thinking; 'wow, he was awesome, too bad he's moved on'?”

Breaking up is a wrenching affair much of the time, especially for the partner who's trying to hold on while the other lets go. Break ups are rarely mutual... far more often, they're one-sided, with one partner giving the other the boot, while the booted party feels hurt, shocked, injured, and helpless.

Especially if you've had a longer relationship (6+ months or so), you're usually going to be in for a bumpy road, emotionally.

How do you deal with all these emotions, and how do you figure out how to break up with a girl in a way that's fair to both people involved and doesn't leave a lot of smashed, hurt, broken feelings?

Things That Show Women You’re Chasing Them (That’s Bad!)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

signs you're chasingIn July's article on granting social status, I mentioned a delicate social situation as an example of a scenario where you'd unfortunately have to deal with an interruption by throwing someone under the bus. A reader asked a clarifying question, wondering if it wasn't possible to deal with that interruption more gracefully toward the interloper:

“In the example from the networking event, wouldn't a socially savvy person tell the nerdy guy something like "We were in the middle of a conversation here, is it OK if I get back to you later?" as if to give the guy an out?

Would you in retrospect deal with the incident more like this, or if not, why? While the guy was rude to intrude the way he did, isn't it better to not be rude back?”

My response was that, while normally you DO want to respond gracefully here, due to the specifics of this case, because of what's communicated to this new woman you've just met by you explicitly telling someone else you prioritize your just-commenced conversation with her over the one he has just commenced with you (as you would in the graceful way of letting this other individual down), you must take the haughtier tack here, unfortunately, and throw our socially awkward friend to the wolves for stepping between you and this girl and butting into your conversation.

And just what is that bad thing communicated by you telling him explicitly that you're prioritizing your conversation with her over your conversation with him that forces your hand here? Why has he left you with no choice but to dismantle him socially, rather than let him down nicely?

What's communicated to the girl in the explicit case, where she hears you tell him, "I'm in the middle of a conversation with her, please excuse me," is that you're chasing her... that's what.

Why that's communicated, and the other signs you can give off that indicate you're chasing women, is what we'll talk about here.

The 3 Different Kinds of Leaders

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

A few weeks ago an anonymous GC reader made a very simple request:

“Can you write an article on leadership?”

Yes, certainly; I’m very happy to oblige. Leadership is a quality coveted by men the world over. It’s not only the ability to lead individual men and women, but the ability to compel larger groups to work harder and achieve more than they ever would on their own.

how to be a leader

Similar to improving your skill with women, there is a common misconception about leadership that it’s just something people are born with and can never be learned. But today I’m going to break down leadership, and show that it can be learned by anyone... anyone willing to put in the time and effort to learn it, of course.

The Seductive Power of Shy

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

Much of men’s dating advice tells you to be confident, but after a certain point a man with little to fear might just ask the question, “Can being shy be turned to one’s advantage?”

being shy women

As it turns out, shy combined with moments of confidence can create an incredibly alluring contrast, and yes, be incredibly attractive. In fact, the right use of “shyness” can show off a deeper internal confidence than just being extroverted and outgoing all the time can.

Being shy-natured can be a powerful way to separate yourself from the noise of the crowd and heighten the experience of sharing a moment with you.

Going Out to Meet Women Even When You Don’t Want to

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

meet women routineWhen I first started lifting weights regularly, there were plenty of days I did not want to go to the gym at all - days I felt sick, days I felt tired, days I was down in the dumps. But I made myself go anyway, because I had committed myself to it, and I knew that if I started skipping days at the gym, I'd skip more and more, and whatever gains I actually made would be slow and, likely, negligible.

So, I went, time and again, when I did not want to go at all. The feeling after was always triumphant - I had vanquished my emotions and managed to achieve in spite of myself. And six months after I'd begun working out three times a week, every week, I was back in front of a bunch of my old colleagues, and everyone was impressed at how much muscle I'd put on.

I hadn't even realized; because I saw myself in the mirror every day, I hadn't seen the transformation. All I'd seen was that I kept lifting heavier and heavier amounts of weight.

Going out to meet women is just like this; the important thing is not being "ready" to go out and meet women - the important thing is going out and meeting women.

But a lot of men have trouble doing this.

Scare Tactics and the Illusion of Control in Life and Relationships

Peter Fontes's picture

By: Peter Fontes

scare tacticsIn "The Purpose of Life from a Practical Point of View", Zac wanted to know why 'scare tactics' within relationships don't work:

“It will be cool to have an article on "Scare tactics", and why it doesn't work when there is no genuine honest and open communication.”

The question was posed in the context of styles of leadership and how to stop playing games in a relationship – which are actually two topics with a whole lot in common.

In this article, you're going to learn what a scare tactic is, why people use them, why they're ineffective in the long term and what techniques you can use to avoid them to have longer, more fruitful relationships, romantically and platonically.

First though, let's get an understanding of scare tactics.

How to Spot a Girl Looking for Men

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl looking for menImagine yourself walking down a crowded street, teeming with people about you on every side. Or, making your way through a jam-packed bar, or a subway station crammed with people.

Somewhere in that street, bar, or station there is a girl who would love nothing more than to meet you... you, or some other attractive, savvy man who isn't going to hem and haw, but who, rather, is going to take her by the hand and lead her gallantly off on an electric, romantic, and titillating adventure.

How do you spot a girl looking for men like this?

As you're doubtless conscious of, women give off a number subtle signals that they are receptive to meeting new men - and sometimes to your advances in particular.

However, most men are terrible at reading these signals... and most women go home frustrated, empty-handed, and bothered about life's unreliability in providing men who can recognize what they want and give it to them.

But if you knew how to read these signs... if you could pick a woman out of a crowd, point to her, and easily say to yourself, "That girl wants to meet a man right now," you would have a super power few men possess, and one that many women wished men possessed.

That super power, as it were, is within your reach.

9 Terrible Excuses Men Use to Avoid Meeting Great Women

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

avoid meeting womenEver see a really beautiful woman that you’d love to meet, walking down the sidewalk… she looks like your ideal, and maybe you even imagine how well the two of you would probably hit it off together, and the laughter and smiles and romance and adventures you might share in an unwritten future… and then you just let her walk by, past you without a word, off into the sunset and into being no more than a memory to you, never to know what might have been?

There is an old adage in the seduction community that goes, “It’s better to be rejected than live with regret.”

Yet so many men invent what they might not even identify as excuses for saving their feelings and remaining in a state of inaction… and fear. Today I’m going to put a magnifying glass on these weak excuses and why you should throw them out the window to make substantial changes in your life.

How to Take Girls Home with You

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

Meeting women in bars or the mall or on the street is great, and going on dates is lots of fun.

But sooner or later, at some point or another, you’ve got to bring women home with you, or nothing is ever going to happen.

take a girl home

If I had to sum up how to take girls home with you in one sentence it would be “keep the good times rolling”. Never get pushy with women; make it easy by taking it easy!

There are many finer points to this that guys who are beginners tend to miss - things like not freaking girls out by being all over the map, by not making the ask home a high pressure situation, and more.

If you know what these points are and you know your way around them, you can get yourself taking girls home easily, consistently, and in stress-free ways.

Why Madonna/Whore is Intimately Linked with the West

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

madonna whore complexA few days ago, Peter had an article up on deprogramming yourself from Madonna/whore complex, a form of black and white thinking in which there are good girls - Madonnas - who aren't all that interested in sex, and there are bad girls - whores - who love nothing more than a good pounding by just about anyone.

As his focus was more on the deprogramming side of things - so that you might optimize your sex life and dealings with women in a Western, post Madonna/whore type world - Peter only scraped the surface on where this mental model of female sexuality originates in his article, and I'd like to expand greatly upon both the background of Madonna/whore and the purpose that it serves here.

This is going to be a ride through some of the stranger and less-discussed aspects of human sexual history and civilization, so... I hope you're prepared for a lengthier piece.