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Every guy's beaten himself up over how to ask out a girl he likes.
She's there, she looks great, you want to ask her out... so bad... but you just can't form the words. Or maybe even approach her in the first place.
Making the ask, as hard as it seems now, is, in fact, remarkably easy to do once you have a few simple tools to do it...
However, you can spend endless amounts of time stressed out over it when you don't.
So let's give you some AWESOME tips to making asking girls out SIMPLE.
Before we get to tips, a quick story.
When I was 14 years old, I asked a girl out for the first time.
I walked up to her in front of the whole school (her name was Sarah), and flat out asked her to go to the school dance at the end of the year with me.
She was the prettiest, most popular girl in school (not to mention head cheerleader), and she'd flirted with me and chased me hard for a year.
In fact, she'd asked me out about 6 months earlier (but I was too scared to say "yes")!
Yet by the time I finally asked her out, she'd given up on me -- the window had passed, and so had my shot with Sarah.
At the time I didn't know you only had a certain window of time to ask a girl out in... though I guessed something like that might be the case.
I soon found out it definitely was.
As you could've guess, Sarah said "no" to me, albeit in a very gracious way.
She told me she wanted "to be friends first", which I knew meant we weren't going to the dance together.
I never got a date with Sarah.
However, in the many years after, I eventually asked hundreds of girls out on dates. Some said no... but many more said yes.
And along the way, I've learned a thing or two about how to ask a girl out and get that "yes."
I've planned to write on how to ask girls out for a while now. However, a reader just wrote in asking about asking girls out specifically -- so, it's time to cover it. Our reader says:
“Man chase I really have been in a funk lately. I'm back in school and I feel like a social retard now lol! I need some advice, I really need help with asking girls out on dates and what that actually looks like you know? I'm reading your articles and a lot of it is making sense but closing the deal and getting dates is weird for me. I guess I really haven't actually asked a girl out on a proper date before my last GF I got with because I was able to escalate things with her fast.”
To answer our reader's question, I've put together this guide to asking women out.
This guide will teach you -- emphatically, unequivocally, and without fluff, huff, or pomp of any kind -- how to ask a girl out... and always (or almost always, anyway!) get a "yes."
Comments
Mixed messages
Hello Mate,
I am hoping for some advice. I am inexperienced in dating and have avoided it for most of my life. I'm 28 and realising I need to push myself to jump into the game or be left behind. This lack of experience has often created issues with understanding women's mixed signals.
I currently work with this one girl which I really like however she is shy and inexperienced. Anyway she was really into to me and we got on well. I tried asking her to coffee a few times but she always had an excuse. Yet she would continually want to talk to me and send me mixed signals. The feed back from people I know was o he won't make a move. So of course I'm confused as she says one thing to other people and acts differentlyto me.
The next thing I find out a few months later she is seeing someone and no longer single. So I stop bothering to talk to her apart from when I have to. The next thing I know when I'm not as friendly she pushing to speak to me when she can in the corridor. She was not happy with the fact I went a bit cold.
So Im thinking o well I can be nice and still talk to her in a friendly way. This seams to go around in circles at times she to busy to talk then she wants to talk. Of course I am getting frustrated and don't know if I should just cut her of and not proceed with any form of friendship because of obvious issues. This girl is mid 20 and seems to send a number of different messages.
So what should I do? Stop talking to her or continue to be nice and friendly because it might lead to something in the future, when she is single again. Thoughts?
Advice
I have been working with this girl for 1 year. We both like each other however she send a lot of mixed messages. When I ask her out she makes up excuses. However she is always wanting to talk to me and goes out of her way to ensure she does. I don't get it. She then tells me she has just started see someone. However she still wants to talk. She is sending me mixed signals and I am confused.
I think it might be appropriate to just stop talking to her as she might be playing games with me. Any thoughts she is shy and inexperienced however I do know she has been seeing someone.
Thoughts?
Ha.
The dramatic part almost made me die of laughter when I read it.
Thank u for ur advice but I
Thank u for ur advice but I like a girl who is one year younger than me and her brother made me promise not to ask her out .I really like this girl what should I do?
Pls help MEE my Coisin is trying to steel the girl i lik
My cousin is trina to steel the gir I've liked since middle school now I'm in collage dudes I mean wtf is rong with him he knows ivenliked her he wants to fight me to see who should get her how do I get out of this mess!
About those date ideas
Is going to the zoo a good dating idea?
no doubt you are no .1 chase.
no doubt you are no .1 chase. instead its better to say you are the guy that every girl wants. i have learned lot from your articles .i never have a girlfriend till now.because after 10-15 min. my conversation comes to end . then i have no idea what to talk after that . i can' t hold conversation thats my weakest point. could you help me brother.no girl is intrested in my even though i have good personality.
A girl
I met this girl last week and I barely know her. I want to know her before I ask her out. I was at the football game yesterday and I want to talk to her but I was shy any ideas to make me have the balls to talk to her because I really like her. And when ever I want to talk to her I have nothing to talk about. Is there a sign that she might like me because she was flirting with me in math class and I do it to but I dont know if she likes me back
same situation here, though i
same situation here, though i havent tried to talk to her yet... ive been thinking, maybe i should go directly into a date, idk fits a good idea or not, neither do i know how to attract her, and well i got a problem now... i only got a year to do this, cs shed leave the country soon...
not sure if its corny
Ok this is going to seem od but I have my reasons. I'm 36yo and just came out of a 11 year relationship and I don't know what to do about a girl I like. We talk and it seems she goes out of her way to speak to me at work (I'm a concierge and she's a cleaner) about non work related things. I always get so nervous when I try to ask her out on a date so here's my idea and i want to know if its lame and corney. I collect rare shot glasses and I have a hand blown glass with a glass chilli in the bottom, that is made in Mexico. I always think of her when I see the glass and am thinking of putting a note (yes on paper) in the glass and placing it on the roof of her car before she leaves work. The note will ask if she would like to get a drink sometime and have my phone number on it. I'm not sure if it is corney because she is Mexican it may also be offensive being that I am assuming that because she's Mexican she must enjoy tequila
Finally, someone mentioned
Finally, someone mentioned persistence, the common myth that is going around is "if a woman says NO, it means NO, move on to the next one". But I've personally heard and seen more than a few cases where persistence from a guy ended up getting him the girl, some of them are living together or married now.
Just need advice
Hello,
I just successfully finished a first date with a girl i liked. I applied all of the rules for asking a girl out, deep diving, simplifying dates, etc, and inviting the girl home on a high note. i was essentially trying to move fast like you told me.
However, about ten minutes into her being in my home, i reached for the kiss (tried the spontaneous kiss), but she refused (politely though). She was tooken aback alittle, and prefered that I asked her first. I was dejected a little (and she could see), but i got over it (still a little dejected visibly, tried my best to hide it, but she could sense it alittle) but overall we had a nice time. Though she wants us to be friends and still do thing together like workout, eat, etc.
what do you think that I could have done differently to make things more smoother/better/work in my favor?
Thanks,
Siri
Advice
Hey,
I once talked to a girl and we went out for a cup if tea. we talked about random topics about 3 months ago. however, i am not motorized and it is difficult to go each time and see her, so we generally hang out at university together.
3 weeks ago, i wrote a poem for her exposing everything she said to me about herself, she was not very happy and she told me to stop talking to her. 2 days later she said she was sorry. Till today, I'm still not in love with her, but I like to talk to her and discuss matters. I don't have high expectations but I like to talk to her and then see where things go.
But now, it is summer and i would like to see her. she has an exam in 2 days and i would like to ask her if we can go for a cup of tea or something.
Do you think it is a good idea to ask her at this time or should i wait more ?
Please i need your advice
Hello, I just have a question
so, yeah this all makes sense to me, like I once waited 3 years of trying to get me courage to ask this one girl out but once I did she said no, and now I am getting ready to ask out a girl I have liked for few days now, I only just found this site, um, How do I fully tell if she is in to me or not?
Put it to the test
I have liked a girl for some time now and will try this the next time I see her. I'll feedback how it went.
Quick question
If she doesn’t like you (knows you like her as well) but is ok talking to you and you used to be friends (no disagreement, just lost touch), is there any way to change her mind about you?
so what if you ask out before
so what if you ask out before she thinks about dating you, as a surprise?
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