Add new comment | Girls Chase

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Estate's picture

Hey Chase,
As always, great article.

You'll probably bang your head off a wall with this question after writing so much but here it goes....

I've read and re-read your conversationalist blog over and over and it's helped so much. I'm naturally a quiet guy and dates used to scare the hell out of me, what would I say??? But I went through a phase of just going on as many 1st dates as I possibly could to the point they no longer scare me and instead of saying "Oh, yeah, thats great" , as I did 2 years ago. I can keep things running much better these days. Deep diving and making conversation flow and fun is working so much better for me now on a date.

But here's the piece I'm still working on.

I see a cute girl in a bar, "Hey, you look really cute, Had to say Hi, I'm ...".
Now I want to get to "Not Boring her"... and I blank. I want to get into that conversation stage because once she'll a little invested I'm gold.

But when I've opened and she's still at the "Why am I in this conversation" stage, I often find it hard to hook her unless she's already very interested.

Is there a transition step here? How do I get those things that interest her without just acting like shooting fish in a barrel until I hit one. Or is that step only working on my look, walk, edginess, etc so that she is ALWAYS already interested?

I know standard advice is to comment on something she's wearing or whatever... but sometimes there are those girls who, there is just nothing. There's no necklace with a long hidden story, there's no particular style to tease her about or whatever... it's just her... you're attracted to her but you're lost for that transition and BAM, moment is gone.

What do you think?