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Michael M's picture

Hi Chase! New reader here. Love your blog! This post is fantastic and gave alot of valuable insight into a few important issues with chasing vs persisting.

I am curious of your take on girls who play aloof AFTER sex with them, especially if your primary mode of communication is over text.

I have a situation where I slept with a new girl a few times. Started around a month ago. I escalated fast, we hooked up by 2nd meet, and seen a few times since. Sex was good. I had no intentions to go exclusive, as I was seeing other girls (and think she knew). But I deifnitely gave her more time and attention than the others, which was my first mistake.

She once asked what I would do if she 'disappeared'. She asked this by the first encounter. I didn't think much of it. Then it happened.

Our last encounter could be considered a 'failed mating because she stopped in the middle of sex and said I was too rough and hurt her... I stopped and was left pretty frustrated, but before she left she tells me she was raped when she was young and maybe that's why.

We texted a few times after but then she ignored a few texts I sent after that for almost a week. I will admit, it worked on definitely getting me to invest a shit ton more (except it went to the extreme that it got me starting to be resentful of her) I believe she has some other guys in the picture too. I was seeing other new girls in this time so it wasn't too bad but I will be lying to say I didn't find myself increasingly thinking about her. Was kinda messed up LOL

So eventually, I just msged her and cut her off. 'Hey looks like this isn't working for either of us, so good luck finding what you're looking for."

Then a few days ago she sent me these messages:

"I miss you but I tried to deny it"
"I can't give you what normal girls can give"
"I hope everything will be ok"
"I'm just trying to cover my heart"
"So sad I"m still thinking about you :)"

I ignored her for a couple days. She texted again, and I got horny one afternoon and wrote back something lame like 'no need to be sad / how've you been / what are you doing later'. I know the messages suck, and now I wish I put more thought into it.... she's doing the ignoring thing again and it's been a few days and now I'm just annoyed.

Now I'm wondering if ignoring would be the best strategy right now or if I can be more 'persistent' or maybe even call her out on her behavior like

'Did you write me all that shit just to bait me to reply? If that's what you mean by being not normal, yeah and I think it's best we no longer see each other until you get your issues sorted.'

Would love your take on this and thanks again for a great blog.