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Micky88's picture


First off - just to say I love the blog, really interesting stuff!

Would really appreciate your help with a situation I'm currently in - I'll try keep it as brief as possible:

I started courting a girl I really like a few months ago - she had a bf at the time which i knew was on the rocks so I played it very cool, didn't put any pressure on her but within a few weeks it was clear she had strong feelings and we were getting closer and closer. I.e., a lot of meeting when out, cuddling etc. Although normarily I wouldn't see this as positive, e.g., no sexual relations and very slow build up - she had a bf this whole time so I knew I was in the long game, and figured I would completely blow any chances of something longer term if I was the guy who made her cheat on her bf. So in the end she broke up with her bf and I was one of the first to know and we went on a date a week later. It went really well, we had a great time and some intense kissing was had in the end. This was just over a month ago and since then we've been on 3 dates along with numerous encounters while out in bars/clubs.

My whole issue currently is this - last week we went on a really great romantic date (Wednesday), followed by a great night in the bedroom. I sensed the next morning that she was a bit awkward, but put this down to guilty feelings for her ex potentially. So I cooled off a bit to give her some space and that evening and Friday we were texting a lot, she was very keen, organising the next date etc. So I thought, ok this is where I want to be - then without any change in my behaviour at all, she suddenly almost cut contact all weekend, and was again awkward and cold on Monday when texting. She then cancelled a date planned for last night, but did say we should re-schedule for next week, and I know I will be seeing her this Sat as we are both going to the same party. She also knows this.

So my question and what I can't figure out is this:

- Why has she suddenly flipped to an ice queen?
- Is it due to guilt about ex?
- Is she afraid of falling into another relationship after just finishing up a 4+ year one?
- Could she possibly have all of a sudden inexplicably lost all interest?
- Have I done something wrong I've missed?
- Next steps - what the hell do I do?? ( Currently I'm going with the approach of not contacting her unless she texts me, then be nice and funny as if nothing is up - figure I should give her some space to decide on what she wants?)

Extra points:
- Is my current approach correct?
- I know she's meeting her ex tonight/tomorrow night as it's his birthday and they always go out for dinner on it - should I be especially worried about this and if so what should my approach be - A)nothing, B)Small, funny text, C)Other?

Thanks for any help you can offer, as you can imagine my head is completely messed up by the situation as something has happened which I don;t know about - but if there's any hope of salvaging I think I need to make sure my next move is the right one!