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Emily's picture

When I was in college, I slept around. Every two or three months, I'd end up with a new guy. Sometimes there would be a relationship, other times it was a one time thing. What I developed was a sense of ambivalence, not necessarily cynicism, but instead kind of a deep resignation that whatever came out of it would be. After university, and a particularly horrible NSA relationship that followed, I became celibate. These were my late 20s, prime dating years for finding a partner and settling down, but I just wasn't interested. Then I was 29, moved to a new city for a new job, and I accepted a man's invitation on a date. Now my rule is no sex without commitment. And I believe I can find the one and be faithful despite having over 30 partners in my past. So many of them are so far in the distant past, I barely remember them and they do little to impact my attitude toward men and commitment. Thankfully, when you hit 30, you mostly start dating guys who don't want to ask the silly question of how many people you've been with, what's more important is that you're clean. Would they judge my number? Probably yes, and maybe that's why they don't ask, but the psyche of a person is only minimally affected by their past innocuous sexual experiences. .