Ugh, I hate all of this gameplay. Why can't we humans not just find eachother the natural way? Why must we think smart and tricky? It's not fair. Being desperate is a natural reaction when someone you love isn't responding. I'm doing my best to not appear too desperate, but seriously... Why should I hide my honest feelings for her? Why can't she just see it as a sign that I am interested?
Well... I've read it all. A girl who used to respond faster back then, are now very very very hard to get into contact with. It takes her DAYS to respond. I have been giving her ALL the freedom a human could offer, to make her feel comfortable around me. I've done my best to convince her that she should not worry about being honest with me, and if she didn't feel like seeing me, or whatever reason may be in her way, she could just tell me. I never really got an explanation or an apoligy for being so slow. I mean, EVEN IF SHE'S NOT INTERESTED IN ME AS MORE THAN A FRIEND, why wouldn't she appreciate my effort and loyalty, by giving me the attention I deserve?
God damnit! I miss her so god damn much, and I haven't seen her in more than 4 months, and I would have absolutely no clue to why she should feel uncomfortable about texting me back. Love shouldn't be a game. I'm tired of trying to type in the right codes with letters and spaces and smileys. I just want to naturally see her and talk to her in real life... and that's what I have been trying to make happen the last 4 months or more. The funny thing is simply, that despite the fact that I've told her many many times that I am totally okay with her not wanting to make an appointment with me, she never actually rejected me... still the way she's SOOOO slow at texting back, keeps us from seeing eachother. She makes no sense...7
I wonder when she's going to realise that she kind of owe me an explanation, and a bit of appreciation for my paitence, honesty, kindness, love, and freedom that I have given her. Really... I've been given her ALL excuses in the world to be honest to me, and still it seems as if she's afraid of texting me... I wonder what she wants from me.