Should You Pay for a Date? | Girls Chase

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Jimbo's picture

Great, candid comment.

This seems like a complex issue: boys and girls trying to outplay each other in a darwinistic struggle where, more often than not, one has to win and one has to lose. Yet the way I see it, the solution to this is surprisingly simple: know, then clearly state what you want.

One-night stands make you feel bad? Then first of all, know that. And I mean consciously know that, tell it explicitly to yourself, and don't let buried deep down in your psyche only for it to come out and sting the next morning. Then, tell it to the guy who wants to sleep with you. Don't say, "I'm over hookups" because that's not his business; ask, "Are you going to stick around after sex? Because that's the only way I'm putting out." That becomes his business. And he'll have to make a decision: "Do I have the intention of seeing her again?" and act accordingly. Now some guys are cheats. But when faced with a clear-cut question like that, it doesn't leave much moral wiggle room. And most guys aren't cheaters in such a glaring way.

Same goes for the guy. When you're investing in a girl, ask yourself, "Am I getting ahead with her? Or am I just throwing my stuff for nothing?" Push for compliance. And if you get it, you keep on pushing until you get to bed; if not, you either give it one last push, or just move on. Also, you only provide for a girl that's yours, not for a complete stranger. In romantic/sexual contexts, a man pays a woman for two things: 1) As compensation for not sticking around after sex (best known as prostitution); 2) to unmistakably position himself as the authority in a relationship, buying her obedience to some degree (good old patriarchal relationship).

And that's that.

So in a nutshell, I'd say we should stop lying to ourselves and to each other about what we truly want. And we'll be better off as there would be much less (room for) cheating in the world.