Should You Pay for a Date? | Girls Chase

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Drew's picture

Chase,

I particularly enjoyed this article, and it has caused me to reflect on many of my personal experiences. Admittedly, I am notoriously a "relationship" type of guy; which, inevitably lands me in either a relationship or the friend-zone. Something I've decided I'm relatively satisfied with I've decided.

Thus, my comments and reflections are confined much more to the idea that the ultimate goal with a girl is a relationship, assuming we hit it off. Also, it's important to note that I have ALWAYS payed; for various reasons: social conditioning and perhaps a desire to impress as well. This has not been limited to a girl I am attempting to date; I've practiced this with female friends on a consistent basis as well. I guess I just have an overwhelming desire to, as you stated, provide for those I care about; perhaps a psychological aspect not addressed. I imagine, that, like myself, some people just naturally feel compelled to show their affections by paying for a meal.

All that said, I imagine I will attempt to practice a few of your tactics because I have been burned in the past by conditioning the women (with some exceptions) to anticipate my grabbing the check. I intend to modify my actions and strategy, ladies, not because I am cheap (quite the opposite), but because, as I've looked back on various dates and interactions with ladies because of this article, I've realized that I will successfully do one of two things if I pay for a date; I will either create the expectation that I, the man, will assume the role my grandfathers did and ALWAYS pay, or I will force the girl to feel overwhelmed, and, in some situations, uncomfortable; forcing a perhaps quasi-interested girl into a position of vulnerability, which almost definitely ensures she will create space and often position herself in the role of friend or worse; she'll run for the hills.

And, on a final more personal note, I think it would be important for any women reading this to note that I, having been taken advantage of in the past, have no desire of being in a relationship or dating someone who is so codependent or self-righteous that she would reject me simply on the premiss that I didn't pay for her meal. That's very insulting, and, I consider myself to be a very nice guy who respects women very much, but women, in my opinion, do themselves a great disservice by insisting that the MAN pay for their time.

Thanks again for the very thought-provoking article, Chase!