That’s exactly what folks say “you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear” in relationships. That really goes for lots of other sorts of relationships; e.g. friends, hires, business partners, etc.
These are the situations where we can walk away. That’s a nice-to-have condition. As Trump puts it, “ always not be afraid to walk away”. However, I wonder Chase, what if the other party we want to have changes happening are not the ones we can just avoid in life. For instance, children, maybe parents, and even ourselves. It pops to my mind, because it strikes me that my family is exactly as how you describe your ex’s in the temper department. My paternal grandfather was very hot tempered. My father I felt has got calmer over the years as his career gets better, but still gets angry when others fail to meet his expectation (employees and in my eyes, me). In the past year or so I found out that I am pretty easy to get upset and angry, too, even though it is more internally and not “behaviorally”, as I am in general on the avoidant side when it comes to relationships. I admire that you have dealt with depression successfully yourself. What are your strategies and tactics over the years to improve the deal breakers of somewhat innate traits of yourself? What if it’s your child who by chance happen to have that very undesirable trait? For me the things I am trying to change are addiction, fantasy and depression, and I wonder what if one day my children have them, too. You are what I perceive very practical and very hands-on when it comes to changing yourself and self-improvement. What would you advise for people who are on the other side of the spectrum (i.e. idealistic, head-in-the-clouds, spending lots of time fantasizing, or even obstinate, as you call it, “hard cases”)?