Hope you're doing well as well :)
With the buddy, why not just send a message?
"Hey man, what's going on? Feels like you've been steering clear of me. Want to spit out the issue rather than avoid? I'd rather just have it out, so we can address it, or else break things off in a clean way, that way we aren't dancing around each other with awkward unspoken issues. Want to fill me in on what's going on on your end?"
With that girl... I'd have just put my hands up and been very expressive and say, "Whoa, whoa, hey! I wasn't talking to you as much and that probably felt like I was ignoring you but that is NOT how I meant it at all. Let's sit down, you and me, and we'll talk, JUST us. I want this. I want to talk to you."
Then she'd probably have refused, and I'd have said, "Yes, yes, we need to sit, it is just over here, if I'm horrible you can run off in two minutes, I promise. It's two minutes, it's not going to kill you, let's sit."
If she's still resistant you could also throw a free drink offer in: "Come on, let's sit, I'll buy you a drink. Yes, you want to do that, everyone loves free drinks. You get to have a free drink and sit with a sexy guy who wants to talk to you, I think that is a pretty good deal. Let's sit."
Because basically at the point where she is getting emotional, you know she wants your dick.
So at that point it is just calming her down enough she is not auto-rejecting, then getting her isolated with her, then primed enough for the pull.
I didn't know how to do that then. But this is how I respond to situations like this now. I will just keep talking and cajoling until the girl goes along with things. Because I know once we are seated, and she has already come out with it, and made her interest very clear, all I have to do at that point is qualify her properly so she feels like my interest in her is genuine, then seed a pull that feels like by her going with me, I am doing something for her as a reward / to make things up to her.
And then I will frame the sex as me making up to her, too.