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Chase Amante's picture


If you ask women if they do things, unless you do it in an obviously knowledgeable/flirtatious way, women will always deny them. A stealth strategy / mindfuck strategy loses power if it's admitted to. Women use a great deal of 'soft power' the relies on subtext, double meanings, and confusion game. This is one reason you should not ask for dating advice from women (or ask women to explain themselves to you, for that matter). You can read about the concept of the 'secret society' to understand this a little better. You may also want to read my article on cold approach (which specifically deals with women discouraging men from doing things that work well with women).

I also don't think it's a good idea to re-attract a women who ghosted you. By doing this, you imply she did everything right and you are still like the dog chasing her.

You're coming it at it from a place of wanting to punish the bad behavior of a woman who is not intimate with you.

I personally view every woman who is not sleeping with me yet to be a woman behaving badly. Only once she realizes she needs to go to bed with me is she at last behaving the right way ;)

Anyway, I can understand the desire to punish / not reward women who are doing things that annoy you... I suppose.

However it is not a productive mindset when it comes to bedding women.

It is also not a productive mindset for actually finding worthwhile girlfriends. A girl who is ghosting you before she's intimate with you is not telling you anything at all about the way she will treat you once intimate. Some women are doting, loving partners to men once they are intimate with them, but flighty and ghost-y with men they aren't shagging yet.

I for one am happy to let those men get mad at such women... while I allow them to dote on me. That arrangement suits me fine.

It is up to each man to decide which he'd prefer to be: the guy who is angry at them, or the guy who is having sex with them and getting doted on by them.

In your case it looks like the girls who ghosted you first just got jealous when you flirted with other girls infront of them, maybe I am wrong though.

Preselection is the #1 tool for re-attracting women whose attraction has tanked. Jealousy plotlines work, and women respond to other women taking interest in you or being about to hook up with you. So yes, where you muster it, jealousy/preselection is an incredible tool for resurrecting fallen attraction.

So after a year of no contact ( she was still on my whatsapp and social media) my mom suddenly died. That girl never even said anything like I am sorry for your loss.

Sorry about your Mom, Bizzy. I don't know how old you are, but you don't sound old. It's terrible to lose a parent while young.

Re: the girl's situation, she also sounds young, and the situation sounds very confusing to you both. She was playing games with you, but you were also playing games with her. I think a lot of guys don't realize games are a two-way street. It is very hard for a girl to play games with you if you lead her strongly and don't engage in games. I have shagged a lot of girls who are game players with other men but don't play them with me because I don't engage with the games. When you engage with them, you amplify the confusion, because you are confused by her games, and she is confused by yours.

I don't know the full situation with you and this girl, but if she was genuinely confused about what the situation was with the two of you, it may make it feel inappropriate for her to reach out to you.

It's also possible she lost attraction for you (attraction has an expiration date), decided you were no longer in each other's lives, and did not want to ressurect things after a year of them being dead, even if to offer you condolences.

Honestly, if I imagine there's some girl I played games with who played games back with me, and I lost interest in her, and didn't hear from her for a year, and somehow saw one of her parents died... I would not drop her a line. Because while it is sad her parent died, she has a ton of people who are close to her who are giving her condolences, and I do not want her to feel like I am opening up the door to her again.

There is also the possibility she simply does not know.

I mean, I don't know how much overlap your circle has with her.

But if it was just on social media or something, she has to be stalking your social media to know that, and if she has a lot of followers, and hasn't talked to you in a year... she's probably not...

I don't know man. It feels like you're attaching a lot of meaning to what this girl you've never had sex with and haven't talked to in a year does WRT offering condolences or not.

She is someone who is not in your life at all, in any capacity. She may not know, she may know and think it's a faux pas to say anything, she may know and not want to reach out because she doesn't want to open that door again. There is no way to know.

Sitting there fixating on what this one random chick is doing does not seem like it'd be worth your time though.

Why not meet some other gals?