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Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

Yes, try everything you want out. Even the freaky stuff. If she doesn't like it, no big deal. Sandwich it between stuff she does like (give her reliable good orgasms in doggy one session... try something freaky the next session... give her reliable orgasms in missionary the session after that).

No, nothing has changed about being sexy. Fashions have changed a bit. You may want to poke around on some fashion blogs for the latest sexy male fashions. Otherwise, what makes a man sexy is the same stuff it has been for the last 200,000 years. Probably won't change any time in the next 100-200,000 years after today, too. You're good for a while.

Apps are different from real life. See here.

anyway, what would you say is a way to have universal attractiveness as a Black man to get girls from all over?

Have insanely tight fundamentals.

Have insanely tight game.

With those two things in order, you will have attractiveness as universal as you can get it.

but I just can't picture 20 something year old women liking older men even early 30s without them at least already being good with women or  have status, money, and fame.

Translation: "I just can't picture a woman being attracted to a man unless he is attractive in some way."

Well yeah. That is how it goes.

You can get good with women. Or you can get status, money, or fame, or leverage some other way to get women.

But you are going to need some way to get women, if you want to get women.

Is there a way I can stop this limiting belief?

Reach age 30. Start picking up 20-something women.

Limiting belief = stopped.

why would a girl pick an older guy that doesn't have those things I stated over a younger guy?

See here. Also here. And here. Here too.

so I have girls tell me I'm cold, I'm standoffish, and I've also had them tell me I'm a good guy (safe), I'm not hard (as in treating women like complete shit, like calling them out or treating them like a thug)

This is a weird vibe issue I see guys run into from time to time.

The simple answer is you are not sexy, and you need to build a sexy vibe.

The longer answer is... there are some guys who no matter how much I have talked to about this, they cannot ever build a sexy vibe. They seem to be immune to it. I have worked with guys in-person, over the web, you name it, and in-person is the easiest by far, but even in-person I have worked with guys who just cannot be sexy, and no matter what I tell them to try it continues to come out in an un-sexy way. When they try to be sexy it just looks silly. Or serious.

I'm convinced the issue is something with how the guy thinks about sexiness. But I still have not figured it out.

I don't know what to tell you, other than "You need to figure out how to make yourself sexy."

I cannot do it for you. "Sexy" is as much a series of internal realizations as it is external transformations.

You have to arrive at those realizations on your own.

Most guys can be prompted to this just by pointing it out to them and saying, "You need to get sexy."

The light bulb goes off, and they go, "Ohhhhh! Yes, now that I think about that, I have seen that, and I know what it looks like, and I know how to get there."

But some guys that doesn't happen with.

And the best thing I can say for those guys, at this point, is, "You've gotta turn it over in your head until it clicks."

Until then, do this.

what to do if people keep saying you're quiet?

Smile and wink.

There's nothing wrong with being the charming quiet guy.

do you think every guy should have a "gotta get a notch, at whatever the cost" phase to get better?

does it matter what age you are, like can a older guy go through that phase?

and is there a certain notch count where you should be done with that phase?

I find myself being picky like how you said more advance dudes are about laying everything, but I want more notches. I'm paranoid off of lower fruit women, so I wanted to know if that phase is the way to go for me?

If he aspires to a high lay count and a serious degree of skill with women, yes. It's mandatory.

If he just wants to be a normal dude and have a few nice lays and get a nice girlfriend/wife, not needed. He can do that without racking up a ton of notches.

No, the age doesn't matter. I have seen many guys go through that phase between ages 45-55 when they'd been married their whole lives and only ever slept with a handful of (or one) women before.

Guys finish with it at different lay counts. Depends on the guy, his goals, any issues he is trying to work through via shagging, etc.

As for whether that phase is the phase for you -- that is up for you to decide.

Chase