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Chase Amante's picture


Well, if you want results but don't want to do the work, don't despair, you're like most people on most things.

I'd like to be a pro basketball player, but I don't want to do the work to be that. So I'm not a pro basketball player, and don't kid myself that I'll ever be one.

Look for things you're excited to do the work for, and make those your goals.

I can't answer the question on campus cold approach. I don't have a lot of experience there and if I give you a wrong too-high number and you take that as Gospel, you're liable to wear your welcome out there and get labeled a creeper. All I can say is experiment slowly and get a feel for it yourself.

The self-consciousness thing is easy to fix: pick goals you care about, that will improve you in the future, and work on them regularly. Your mind will turn to monitoring your progress and admiring the improvements you're making, rather than dwelling on your inadequacies.

On your other questions:

Don't worry about outcome dependence as a beginner. Worry about getting basics down and building some early results. Focus on outcome dependence once you're getting semi-consistent results and reach the point where you know what to do, but your neediness is tripping you up. Focus on it then.

Beating depression, yes AND you must be actively working toward the future. If you sit there and try to replace bad thoughts, but don't have anything positive and good you are working toward in the future, ACTUALLY working toward, it's going to be very hard to find enough believable good thoughts to stuff in there. They don't just need to be good thoughts... they need to be good thoughts you find believable.