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Chase Amante's picture


Asking the real questions here!

Well, there's a very large degree of subjectiveness between what one woman finds attractive in a man and what another does.

When women are younger their tastes tend to follow more conformist tendencies, since they're around peers and consuming media fairly heavily. Once they hit their mid-20s or so their tastes start to diverge quite a bit. Though even among younger women there's a lot of taste difference.

Here's an article where I talk about the myriad things women care about, and how much it varies between them.

I'll give you a few examples of this to make it stand out a bit:

  • If she's a gold digger, her #1 priority is to find a rich man
  • If she's a total gym bunny, her #1 priority is to find a gym jock
  • If she's a corporate office gal, her #1 priority is to find a professionally successful guy

These aren't absolutes, and you'll find exceptions. But even among the exceptions, most are passing (the gold digger who dates a poor guy for a while, but eventually dumps him for a rich guy; the gym bunny who dates a banker for a while, but eventually has an affair with a ripped guy from her gym and leaves the banker for him).

Then beyond the #1 priority, the other things a girl prioritizes come into focus. She's a corporate office gal first, but she also really loves (art | travel | irreverent humor | BDSM | pick one). If she meets a corporate guy who's into that as well, he hasĀ  a leg up over other guys. But then there are her #3 and #4 and #5 concerns.

Then there are the "detriments"; most women aren't looking for the most stunning gorgeous, filthy rich, redwood tall guy they can find, but rather they have "minimum requirements" below which guys get docked points. So long as the guy is over the minimum requirements, the better he matches her priorities the better odds he has with her. If he's under her minimum requirements on one or more things, he has to be exceptional on something else she values to make up for it.

Sorry if that's not as specific as you'd want.

You can see this with your own buddies though. Ask three of your buddies, one-on-one where the others won't hear, "What are the four most important qualities of a woman you'd want to date for six or more months?" and see what they each say. You're going to find they each have different answers, and probably care about stuff you don't care about, and if you tell them what you care about they won't care about all of it themselves. Steve might say he wants a girl who'll go out to party with him and likes to socialize, while Bill might tell you he wants a quiet girl who'll stay home with him and a girl who goes out all the time would drive him up the wall. Ted might tell you he wants a girl who's at least five years younger than him because he doesn't like old women's bodies, while Frank might tell you he won't date girls more than two years younger than him becuase it's too hard to relate to much younger women. Women are just like this.