A lot of very interesting points and citations here.
Absolutely, focus on the self leads to stress, second-guessing, hesitation, "analysis paralysis", and just about any and every type of anxiety.
In terms of self-focused versus task-focused, what you're doing with the mental redirection I talked about in my beating depression article is training yourself to focus on tasks and not on self.
Much of the inner game-type stuff on GC you could boil down to being about this. Pick concrete, specific, small, achievable goals you can focus your attention on, so you get it off the big picture of "oh, I still do not have what I want. How long will it be?" and focus on doing what you can do instead. Put the focus on the task and the woman and do not worry about yourself once you're out socializing. The stuff about victim mentality. And so on and so forth.
It'd probably be good to split it out into a specific piece on "taking your focus off yourself."
I'll get it into the article queue and see if I can get something up on it soon.