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Xander's picture

Dear Chase,

The same thing happens to me on dates over and over and simply I must ask you for advice. When you mentioned women resistance above in article I must ask you. Sorry if I bother you with too much questions but this kind of failure in seduction disturbs me the most. It is about failed first dates.

The pattern is always the same: to go on date with not good logistics because she does not want to invest in traveling to longer distances. Then she tries to push friendly or non-personal conversation. After I suceed with deep diving to turn conversation to be personal she only talkes about her life path and achivements and is not interesting for what I say or propose. Also does not care about my very honest compliments. Because I do not want to miss escalation windows, usually in the middle of conversation I propose moving to other location or sceduling the second date (due to better logistics) and she firmly declines. Again we continue conversation and I came out with the proposal of other kind of date (some activity together) and she again declines. Every time I try to use panoply of reasons but she is firm. Then after she finishes her story she usually gives me some excuse that has to leave and act dissapointed like I missed escalation window. Before leaving for the last time I try to propose one more date (like: lets grab some cheap and quality drinks these days, I know perfect place) and she usually tells me "I am not in that mood, I won't be available for a long time". Then tells me "good luck" and I never see her again.

Good news are that I can get dates with girls I like and bad they usually end up like this. Last one happened yesterday. Is it possible that these girls just were not interested or available for me? Or I failed to enter to provider or lover category? Two called me bro in conversation so I guess I was friend zoned maybe even before the dates? Could some smooth persistance work after this kind of dates after some period of silence? I usually assume that these girls don't want me and simply cut contact and go to meet other girls. Please tell me your opinion about reasons and potential prevention of failed first dates.

Also I have another problem with expressing lover qualities in larger cities where girls don't know about me. After I remove provider qualities a lot of girls don't see me worth at all and just go away. I use a lot of things to paint myself as lover but I am not there yet. Besides things I read on site what else could be done to increase odds for getting there? Sometimes I feel that some girls would accept me as a lover if I improved or said something but I do not know what.

My last question is not related with this article. I know some girls that friend zone every possible guy they meet. Nobody is good enough for them. And then they go to vacation and hook up with the first guy they meet in nightclub or hotel. Is there effective way for gaming this kind of girls? What causes such behaviour?

Sorry for too many questions and bad English.