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Chase Amante's picture


All great questions. Let me answer...

what if you are relatively inexperienced and don't have that ability yet and she knows it instinctively?

Fake it till you make it. Women want strong men with options. This doesn't vary, whether a gal is a virgin herself or she likes inexperienced men or whatever her M.O. is. You must strive to have enough emotional control over yourself that you can at least rationally realize that you're being handed a raw deal, and enough self-respect to say "It is emotionally very difficult to pull myself away, but if she's going to behave shitty, I must."

As a beginner should you even get into a relationship with a girl?

I'm 50/50 on this. Most guys start off having some kind of relationship with a girl in high school or college, and sometimes the ending of it is messy, but it doesn't seem to set them back any.

I think the ideal if you can pull it off is to have a girlfriend, and treat her like a full girlfriend while with her, but not be exclusive. Then go out and continue to rack up more experience with one-night stands and the like, additional to your primary girlfriend. Most guys won't do this though, but it is the ideal path for both emotional and skill development, if you ask me.

Anyway. I don't think getting into a relationship will hurt you.

If you get into one early on into your seduction journey, it will retard your skill development.

However, it's also a pretty typical thing. Most guys get into this to find a girlfriend. 2-6 months going hard and they meet a gal who's outside their regular league, bed her, and just dive into the relationship head-first.

Then sometimes 1-2 years later they come back and say it didn't work out and they're going to take another crack at the game and get serious this time. And sometimes they get right back to it, while other times their mojo is gone and it takes a year+ to find it.

I'd probably recommend trying to bed at least 5-10 girls before you take a monogamous girlfriend, if you're going to do that. At least get that baseline level of skill developed before you drop back out of the game. That way if the relationship doesn't work out (and beginner relationships often don't), you're not starting from zero again the next time around.

Also should you even have a high standards for a girlfriend as a beginner especially if you're a virgin?


You can lower your standards for lays. That can be a very worthwhile thing to do.

You should not lower your standards for girlfriends.

Should someone like me look or try to make girls similiar to this my girlfriend?

You should aim for whatever standards appeal to you.

When I started out, I did not care about bust size, family background, or education level. My first girlfriend had a Master's degree, and I decided I like that. She also had A-cup breasts, and I decided I'd like them a little bigger. She had a stable family background; it compared very favorably against women I'd been with with unstable family backgrounds. All that stuff went on my requirements list. Her sides were a little straight up and down; she wasn't overweight, but she lacked that pencil-thin waist / hourglass figure, and I decided I wanted that too. Age also became a requirement for me with time... I was happy to date women in their late 20s or early 30s when I was young. Then it become "I won't take up with a girlfriend 30 or over." Then "I won't take up with a girlfriend 27 or over."

With later girlfriends, I decided I cared about not having a girlfriend who's too soft, or one whose attachment style is not secure, or one who has excessively partisan viewpoints.

As a beginner, my only requirements were:

  1. She must be beautiful
  2. She must be intelligent
  3. She must be kind
  4. She must have a good personality

Which are all my basic requirements today, but I've fleshed them out with various things I look for specifically now, that I've decided are important for me as I've gained in experience.

When you're new it's inevitable that you will come off as a boyfriend/provider since you don't have the mindset or characteristics of strictly a lover. So it's almost like the expectation will always be set that you wanna be their bf. And this can be bad if you just wanted to sleep with them to build up your self esteem,experience have a good time and don't wanna hurt them.

Yes, but women will also be able to tell you're inexperienced.

And in general you are likely to attract more experienced women who are just cool with your inexperinece level. Often these women are not going to want relationships with you. You may find yourself chasing relationships with them.

As an inexperienced guy, you'll notice inexperienced girls (who do not put out nearly as many signals) less, and you'll miss opportunities with them (largely because they don't know how to give men opportunities) far more.

Even if you do meet an inexperienced girl, many of them just want to fumble around and get more experience too, and aren't necessarily looking for a life partner.

So usually you are going to be fine.

Make sure you've read this article, if you haven't yet:

Tactics Tuesdays: What to Do If You're Not That Sexy (Yet)

And don't worry too much. Most of this stuff you're going to figure out as you go. It's okay to make mistakes (and pretty much unavoidable).