Sounds like your society is farther along the feminist curve, actually. That makes your pessimism on some of this stuff more understandable.
Question: do women in your society NOT respond to masculine males? As in, it isn't just a muted response / one they try to deny, but there is just no response at all and they actually get turned on by meek men? I will say... one thing I've heard from Swedish men is "Swedish women like every man who isn't Swedish." I've wondered if the reason why is Swedish men have become so burdened with expectations of meekness and conviviality that only foreign men are able to act as masculine, attractive men and not set off local women's "pariah!" alarms.
I was going to say, if it is that bad, why not move? Looks like you plan to already though.
Which, yeah. Sometimes a move is the smartest move you can make. Unfortunately.