Thanks a ton for the advice, I think I keep looking for a silver bullet that will make everything end smoothly, when one doesnt actually exist. I'm going to try to increase the demands/decrease the rewards, but am a bit cautious about the monogomy comment as I think that would hurt her tremendously. We fight every other day at least, so I maybe shoud just respond as you've suggested and see how that goes. We have plenty of differences that I can maybe try to subtly highlight as well (she's very religious, needs to have kids at some point, etc.). I honestly would rather just try to make myself lamer, but I don't really know how to do that subtly either.
Regardless, thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It really means a lot to me.