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Chase Amante's picture


The easiest way to deal with force frames is not to make silly statements that are easily force frameable. However, a skilled framer can force frame pretty much anything. So you do need some defense.

If you know what a force frame is, it's pretty easy to beat. You'll develop an instinct for when people use it on you, and be able to put your hand up and say, "Well, hold on a second. I don't agree with that," and debate the frame. If the other person tries to steamroll you (i.e., just keeps force framing you as you resist), you can just start saying "Nope. You're wrong. You're completely wrong. You don't know what you're saying," and he will have to stop force framing and have a conversation with you.

In a way, every force frame is a thread cut as well... you cut the thread of the other person's frame, and hop over to yours. However, look at the friend's dating life: a pure threadcut (with no force framing) would be "Bad daters... eh. You ever see that Seinfeld episode about bad daters? George is blah blah blah..." Here you're not imposing any views on her, you're just changing subjects. With the force frame, you pitch/impose an actual view: "There is nothing you can do about your friend's awful love life." This is a new frame, and it's different from anything she was thinking / talking about. It's the better option here too, because if she's hung up on this friend's love life thing, and all you do is threadcut, she may just ignore the cut and be too busy trying to get back on that thread. Pitch the frame of "There's nothing you can do about that" and then ditch before she can challenge it, and if she tries to go back to the frame it now feels like she is really saying "Well isn't there something I can do about this?" when you've already established she can't.

Subtle, perhaps, but it makes a difference.