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Lawliet's picture

Hi Chase,

Thanks for the article.

I'm curious, how would you react when someone defys you?

Sometimes, we feel rightfully so that someone should act a certain way.

For example a younger family member respecting older ones, or a student respecting their teacher and behaves in a respectful way.

Another example more relevant to you may be commenters on your website who criticize your articles in a rude manner, or a "confrontational" tone. They may be correct factually but their presentation makes this a battle. Defyingly so.

This feeling can happen with family, friends or lovers.

But then there are times when they defy us. What would be a way to handle these situations without losing respect, but also in a high status man that is socially graceful?

Re: Are there any time when physical force is appropriate?

I know socially we are brought up to be "don't be violent" or keep our hands to ourselves. But then during our childhood, either we personally see it or personally involved, there are times when someone takes our things, and we physically wrestle with them to get it back. Or vice versa, we try that toy because our sibling has been hogging it the entire time.

And there are times when you constantly ask them and justifyingly so for something you feel you deserve to get, and yet they reject it. And so begins the children wrestling battle among the guys.

In adulthood, we naturally stop this (we can always visit local bars for a nostalgic reminiscence). It is clear in some situations, this is wrong (ex. domestic violence). But is there ever a right moment for this? Any personal experience?

The only situation I can think of that MIGHT be (if not, let me know) is if a kid boy took your belonging and you ask them to give it back, but they ignore you and shield the item away from you. Regardless of how much you ask (technically this is begging, which I guess wouldn't be the approach for adult interactions but kids are ok?), so you reach out and grab it out of their hands.

Calibration would apply to all those situations mentioned. Would love to hear your thoughts on them and also personal experiences if any.