The 'Pay Your Dues' Approach to Incredible Social Skills | Girls Chase

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Toby went to high school in the sketchy areas of town where most sane people would never step foot in at night. Austin went to high school in suburbia or the wealthy area of a big city where the rich kids party in and most of the students are not on reduced lunch. For the most part Austin was sitting in classes with future doctors, lawyers, politicians and rich kids while Toby sat in classes with kids who would be lucky to go to college. Life never gave him a chance.

Toby did not get to go away to college right away, he had to spend some time at a community college and transfer. Toby’s abusive overbearing parents used emotional blackmail and all sorts of tricks to get him to stay local when he under 20 years old being naive in thinking parents want whats best for their kids. Austin got to go away to college, live in a dorm and he even rushed a fraternity to get the “college experience”, unlike Toby, Austin had good parents. By the time Toby got to a real college, he was a junior and kids were too cold now since most friendships form freshman year in a dorm. Life never gave him a chance.

After college, Toby did not have any of his old bros, friends and circle to rely on. Austin moved to a major city with his college friends and old bros right there with him as they were successful too. In fact Austin had some old high school friends to draw on and could even expand his social network from that. Toby did not have any of that, in fact, Toby had no base to work from. Life never gave him a chance.

Think that’s bad?

Right when life after college hits, Toby is told to “grow up”. Life ends after college, the fun is over and it is time to be “an adult”. As Toby is finally in a situation where he is making his own money and responsible for his own action, society says no fucking way Toby. Vice says it, ThoughtCatalog says it, CNN says it, Complex says it, and EliteDaily says it. Life ends after college, you should have already made your friends, you should have already “gotten it out of your system”, you should have already had your fun, now its time to grow up and be a “responsible adult”.

Toby, get married already! Toby be a “grown up” and stop trying to live out an “adolescent fantasy”. I am life, I am society, I don’t give a fuck that you were raised in poverty ghetto bible thumping flyover country unlike Austin, grow up and get over it. I am not giving you a chance.

Toby looks up to Dan Bilzerian, his superman, if only he could have a poster of him to hang in his bedroom as Dan Bilzerian gives Toby hope for life after the age of 30 while society attempts to make him squeal and submit.

No support at all, no one in his corner, no one wanting him to succeed and when he might have his chance society and media trying to tear him down at every fucking tear. Toby learn from the “charismatic” and “good looking” Austin who had everything handed to him. Can life even give Toby a chance? Just one chance? 

Toby goes out at nights, at times even alone, and tries to put himself out there.

Toby hits the gym and gets in shape while Austin can be pudgy because unlike Toby, life gave him a chance.

Toby tries to see how he can get a bartending gig on the weekends, even if he has to start out as a fucking busser. Austin got to bartend right out of the gate in college since life actually gave him a fucking chance.

Toby gets fired from his job because the misery of the realization I talk about in his post eats him alive, it shows in his attitude and his boss has had enough, but he will make things work.

Toby takes good pics and works with a photographer to get the best image for dating apps as his results improve, unlike Austin, Toby has to actually put in the work since life never handed him anything including good circumstances. Wait! It pays off, he is getting quality matches.

Toby has to join communities like Girlschase to learn from wisdom himself, how he can deal with the fact that he was given bad circumstances. He is called a victim, they call for his ban and he is attacked. Toby sticks around because the next post and the next guy may as well give him some golden nugget that improves his life.

Toby avoids the morally self-righteous religious goody two shoes and opts to do it alone instead, he has to remain true to his life purpose and pretending to be a Jesus freak in front of others just eats him alive so he stops.

But one day Chase even dedicates a post on his site to Toby and Toby comes to one realization, life never gave him a chance, he will give himself one. In fact when Toby tried making this comment, it told him the name Toby was already taken so he had to write it again.

I am Toby, life never gave a chance, it never put me in good circumstances but I am an adult now. 

Life you never gave a chance, I will give myself one, even if I have to sell my soul to the devil for it at this point.