When Girls Think You're a Player (Then Shut You Down) | Girls Chase

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There is one trend in my approaches that really off-tracks me more than anything else. I approach a woman, start having a pleasant conversation, and then all the sudden, out of nowhere, she just blurts out:

"So...do you ALWAYS do this?" ("This" being "approaching a woman I don't know in that particulat environment.)

It absolutely ASTOUNDS me how often I hear this and the wording is EXACTLY the same every time. It's almost like women get taught this in school.

"Do you always approach women in the park?"
"Do you always talk to girls on the street?"
"Do you always stop random girls in the mall?"

Do you ALWAYS?

For years I have struggled with this line of questioning and eventually learned to just ignore it and dismiss it with an "I don't know" or "Sometimes, I guess" or something along those lines. But even when "the big question" comes up I usually feel pretty de-railed after it, like I'm being accused of being a suspicious person. It really throws my emotions off.

It's gotten to the point now where if a woman starts challenging my intentions or questioning my "player" vibe I just disengage.

Here I am: being fun, charming, playful, announcing my interest, and then...WHAM...she kills the vibe.

I absolutely hate it. It kills my energy and destroys my interest. I have realized that after years of experience I may seem a little too confident in my approach, a little too certain of my answers, a little "too witty" as the article suggests. But I've been asking myself: Why is being too confident and witty a BAD THING?! How could it be? I don't think I sound like a fake person.

I don't know what to do. I think I might try just speaking less and being less friendly. The problem is that, well, that isn't me. That's not who I am. I don't want to fake a lack of social skill and confidence in order to bond with a woman.

That's just...so unfun. :-/