Why Don't Girls Want Intelligent Guys? Part 2: Why Dumb Guys Get Laid | Girls Chase

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Anonym's picture

Hi Hector,

thank you for this series. It focuses on people like me. I have a few comments:

1) Why do you think that TBBT is cancerous? I like it, because it is a lot of fun and I can relate to the main characters and their struggles. However, it seem to be very American in many ways, so sometimes it is a bit strange for me (I am from Czech republic), f.e. do people in the US really say so often "I am sorry" and "You have just hurt my feelings" and such phrases? I have many nice guys traits, but I very rarely say things like this. Moreover, I find it overly optimistic in a way what girls those guys get, because I do not see it much in real life (f.e. I wonder how relationship between people like Leonard and Penny would last so long, they have nothing in common). But happyends sells better and producers want to make profit.

2) There are many smart guys who are not intellectual bullies. If they are nice guys/shy/very introverted etc., they tend to avoid verbal confrontation or in argument avoid ad hominem attacks and focus only on the discussed stuff.

3) As one of those guys, I have always had troubles to relate to dumb guys with more primal masculinity. I am a soccer fan and I used to play with such a guys in one team for seven years, but while the subject was common, I still tend to think and talk about it in a more intellectual way than they do, so developing connection is not much easier. I became kind of soccer nerd.

4) Experiencing acts of violence does not make people necessarily stronger. As a child, I was bullied by other kids. Defending myself did not work much. Bullying destroyed my self-esteem and confidence, I had huge fear of people, difficulties to trust others, I cried under pressure etc. There were some more symmetric fights as well, I used to play soccer. But I still have very strong inhibitions to use physical violence and I have fear under threat of physical violence. Fortunately, in my adult life such situations almost never happens. Being bullied is a big killer of masculinity. I hated bullies and did not want to be like them.

5) In your last article on intellectuals you attributed their troubles to being raised by single mother or weak father. But my family is quite traditional, my father is strong, dominant, leading and aggressive, my mother is passive, submissive and nurturing. I have the problems you described, because in my family we have never talked about feelings, relationships and sexuality (at least not my father, mother and sister probably talked), although they are atheists so religion is not an issue. I have a lot of sexual shame. Probably another factor is naturally lower testosterone level, which caused lower aggressivity and sex drive. Bullying did not help as well. I am also very introverted.

Thanks

Anonym