If we can't base the MGTOW definition on those who identify as such, then who are we gonna base it on? The subjects of women spending their youthful years chasing bad boys and of gold diggers having the laws tilted on their side to divorce-rape their men are all topics expounded upon ad nauseum in those MGTOW videos on YT and such. Aren't those "the source", the main spokesmen of the movement? Sounds like your whole definition of MGTOW is, "women are bad."
You say you can be one but still sleep with, date, and marry women, provided you remind them every now and then how shitty their gender. Well, if you do that, then you're not really going your own way, you're just expressing sour grapes.