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Chase Amante's picture


I had an old college pal I used to call "J-Money." Seems like a long time ago...!

Approach anxiety's one of those things you've just got to steamroll through, especially when you're very new. You've just got to willpower up. You've got to be angry at yourself for not approaching. You've got to be more terrified of failing to approach and NEVER getting good with women than you are of a girl not being interested in you. You've got to feel the fear and say, "I am going to go talk to her even if all I can say is 'HIYOUREPRETTYMYNAMESFREDDOYOUWANNAGOOUTWITHMENOKTHANKSBYE.'"

If you're just not getting anything done consistently, you need to set everything up you possibly can to get you taking the first step. Get two of your buddies and give them each a seriously large amount of money for you and tell them they're coming out with you and you have to approach at least three (3) girls - doesn't matter what happens, they can scream at you and tell you to get away for all you care - and if you don't do it, the money is theirs and they are NOT allowed to give it back to you under any circumstances.

You've just got to make the circumstances so punishing if you don't at least go say "hi" that you'll finally grab your balls and go do it. Once you've done it, and you realized none of the girls you approached pulled out samurai swords and cut your hands off for talking to them, it takes progressively less pushing to get yourself to go do it.

I'd also suggest having a look through these articles:

... but ultimately, if you're just unable, get SOMEONE who's going to come with you and be a true friend and force you to do it no matter what, and not let you walk out of there until you have.