Quick question! I've always been considered a very funny person. Funny, I mean with a sense of humor. From what I read here it's like pointing a gun at sexual vibes and killing them all to the one. Any yeah, there's something about it if you are funny like a jester. I'm not a jester, people usually tell me I'm incredibly funny like not me, but my narration of things and comments. Usually I know when I'm going to say something funny but I never laugh at my jokes and I toss things casually with a dead pan face when I can see everybody is just laughing their asses off.
But! And here comes the dilema. When I'm with people, with girls I often hold the center stage, arresting everybody's attention. I get myself and them in a state - I don't know how I do it seriously - when I kill everyone and people are like "oh my god I love this guy" and in this moment/meeting girls are like all over me and they say yes to everything I suggest. I say - let's go and get the hell out of here! and she is all yes! Whatever I offer and suggest to do they want to do. Last time I had a situation I was talking to a girl and we had a laugh and I'm kinda attracted to her and I said causally making it look not a big deal - let's go to the seaside! And she was enthusiastic and said sure ok, this saturday? I know it'll sound weird but I backed out. I told her later I can't make it this Saturday.
The thing is Chase, I tend to make a very good impression and I often see people are impressed with me but I'm afraid to push things as after making a killing evening/meeting I 'm afraid they will expect me to be this killer guy at all times and I am simply a person who has very different stages from being exceptionally bumpy to sitting in silence for hours not having anything to say.
I don't want the girls who think I'm so funny and confident to go out with me, spend more time and see I'm not the guy who they thought I was. And it's not like I'm trying hard to be that way when I'm in their company initially, it's just that I have a state sometimes when I'm a real killer and then go off quietly home and become regular until I have this state again.
Sometimes I feel I make such a good impression that I'm expected to keep it up and I know I wont hold it the next time round so instead of going to the seaside with her I disappear to avoid disappointing.
I also bailed out with the seaside girl because I kinda suspect that girls are so responsive to me and get this "oh yes ' attitude when I get them in the state and I think they would go home, cool off, out of state and they would text me with 'sorry can't make it". how can I check if she's all yes because she's swept up in the excitement of the moment or she's yes because that's what she thinks? I never had the guts to check it out.
and also how can I avoid the role when I know my performance in a given group or with some girls was so good that I avoid to meet them up later (individually) in the fear of not coming up to the level of my initial, previous performance? I really know how to sell myself and come across such a cool extraordinary guy but after all, I'm also sometimes boring with a very regular life. But nobody thinks that when they meet me first time round and I often hear 'oh my god you're extraordinary' or i feel they think so but I'd hate to kill this opinion.
thx for your opinion!