Living in different parts of the country, getting to know each other involved lots of emails, texts, and a few cards. I now have a written record (OK, photographic and video, too!) of us which enable me to share her thought: "Premise: Masculine is Active, Feminine is Receptive. Perfect set up for S&M, but in real life what has happened is the Active masculine has no direction and the Receptive feminine does not understand the power inherent in surrender. I think in martial arts they teach you how to fall, so you will not get hurt. Part of that training is to not resist, surrender and then you can transform the momentum to your advantage. Women need to embrace the purpose of their power and men need to realize they become more powerful with a willing partner. "
As Anais Ninn said, "“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man, who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” May or may not have been talking about outlier sex, but it works.