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Stanley Lat20's picture

I read the article and unlike some guys who think their girl is different... mine in recent weeks has become the "chaos" in my life as you described. Although I do believe she has been loyal, I increasingly get the feeling that will change. I feel as if she sees me as her future for her and her 2 yr old son, but at the moment I am only a "when convenient" part of her life (essentially meaning when she is drunk), but the man she needs to give just enough to keep around for the long-term. Granted she is 23 and I am 32 so she is young and has much growing to do, but I have dated other women who do not dress to impress and go out all the time who were around the same age. Problem is I am in love with this girl now and see all the signs you mentioned, agree with virtually your entire post, but struggle to do what is the obvious thing to do.... end it!!!! Im stuck between ( she'll mature and be the woman in my future I know she can be, eventually, as well as the woman in my future I feel she wants to be, again eventually, yet is currently choosing not to be). Do I stick with it seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, or just move-on and either find the woman who wants to be in my future now, or possibly, with time apart, this current girl who expresses that desire to eventually be may become in time? She has the potential, but currently lacks the maturity and as of late has essentially made me feel like the "when convenient" boyfriend in title, but in much more of an intimate way after the night is over and she is drunk. All the while texting me throughout the night about her unconditional love for me and wanting to come see me. Yet its always "be there soon", "just had a few drinks and now drinking water to sober up", "you still up", "Im driving to your place (doesnt show up till 30 mins. later on a 5 min drive)", Wants sex, yet is too blacked out. All that over the course of 5 hours, keeping me waiting for her to show, realizing closing the bars was the real intent, as her idea of sobering up seemed to actually mean becoming more drunk. Keep in mind that she spends resources on babysitters for her son to do all this, even though they could come here and her son could sleep here, or I could get a sitter also for my kids and we both go out, but usually I dont find out she went out until she's already out with her friends drunk. As well as on occasion her ditching our plans to go out to go out with her friends. At 32 is it time for me to just let her be and move on and stop waiting around for her to mature into the potential I see in her? Or stick out this 1+ yr relationship? Also, her 2 yr old son calls me daddy and I feel as though I am his dad further complicating the situation.