This is probably one of the best articles I've ever read in my life. Amazing. I just got out of a tumultuous year-long relationship with a party girl. Throughout the relationship, I told her time and time again that I was tired of the drinking. Every time she drank, or went out and partied, or had a "girls night out" I completely lost focus on all of my goals and objectives in life. I'm 30, and in my last year of my undergrad, with a 4.0 gpa and plans of moving on to law school (long story, I was a bit of a fuck up in my younger years). For the prior three years to meeting this girl, I had been on the straight and narrow. My confidence was high, I was bedding beautiful co-eds, I was absolutely CRUSHING it in school and in work, and I was in great shape. Along comes this girl. We meet at the bar, we go back to my place, we have sex. Red flag, obviously, for relationship material. For whatever reason that I cannot pinpoint now, I pursued a relationship with this girl. Out of all the women I had picked up at the bar and screwed, I somehow thought this one was "different." Big mistake. Fast forward one year and my life was in absolute shambles. I lost my job, I got my first "B" in a class, I got completely out of shape, and my confidence was at an all-time low. After nearly six months of incessant fighting and constant stress and worrying about what she was up to, I reached my breaking point and ended it. Now keep in mind, this was not a drink 5 times a week and come home sloshed hardcore party girl. She was a moderate party girl. But I didn't want that. Like you said, I wanted a girl that would be an asset to my life, not a detriment. Someone who made me stronger, not weaker. I thought I could change her, and I was wrong. I spiraled into emotional chaos. She was the only thing on my mind 24/7, and I was unable to focus on my job, my schoolwork, my fitness, or studying for the LSAT.
Anyways, the point is this: This article describes precisely everything I went through while dating a party girl. As an intelligent man who has a lot of ambition, I'm ashamed at how weak and vulnerable I became. Thank you so much for writing this. It has given me so much insight into what happened in this relationship, and has literally been a life-changing experience for me and how I'll date going forward. Thanks again man.
- Matt in Colorado