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J's picture

Hey Chase,

A bit of context regarding this website and me: I read it pretty regularly (the bits I'm interested in, anyways) and I run into a lot of solid content; most I agree with, some I disagree with - but solid content nonetheless.

At the point I'm at in my life right now, I don't necessarily *need* (or want) to "sleep with as many women as I possibly can" - I'm a university student with a tremendous class load, a commission in the US Army (I'm in the ROTC program), all under the banner of passions and self-improvement. Perhaps it's a misnomer to state that I don't *need* to sleep with as many women as I possibly can; I'm definitely *working* on the skill sets that one would need in order to achieve this objective, but I'm not necessarily *actively* going out to sleep with women period-point-blank. Yes, I'm actively working on things like my sexiness, my masculine appeal, etc, but I'm not necessarily using those to pull women into bed... at least, not yet (;

You can ask anybody who's around me and they'll tell you I have a certain "edge" about myself that they *rarely* see - and have *never seen* - with a kid my age. I think it's mainly because I'm so similar to you in the sense that I have very little time for faux pleasantries, well-beaten paths, and mundane activities and I *only* have time for passions and dreams, both of which are "achievable" at this point in time with enough deliberate hours in, I think.

That being said, I'm very aware of how much I don't know. And how much I have yet to go because I'm so young and inexperienced - so that's the reason I try my best to independently reason through everything I do/read/etc while leaving my ego out of the equation (this, I feel, optimizes growth in ways few have actually harnessed). Which is why I read stuff like this website, Mark Manson's work, Allan Pease's books, etc - all with independent analyses and critiques, of course.

I really am grateful for this article though, Chase. A girl I just ended things with (six years my senior, btw - I can't stand 90% of girls my age) was the prototypical girl who "clubbed, partied, & drank". I met her and read this article at roughly the same time and your advice was always in the back of my mind (like with many of your other articles). It was never at the forefront of my thoughts when I first when this chick, mainly because I didn't think it was applicable to her.

Then, slowly but surely, she starts molding into the exact sorta girl you mention here: girls' nights out, Friday nights clubbing, drinks to no end, etc.

Fast forward two months or so and she's become an energy vampire (again, your work on these particular types of people, hah) - I'm just so sick and tired of having to expend time and energy on her, dread meeting her on dates, etc. Heap onto that the fact that she parties, clubs, etc and I'd just had had enough. I called "us" off and she definitely didn't appreciate that too much... to put it mildly.

It's been about four months since first contact and she's definitely a batshit crazy girl; for reasons I won't disclose here, she's quite demonstrably nutty, wildly insecure, and (now) very, very creepy.

The thought of her makes me wanna vomit - and that's a lot, coming from somebody like me, I think, simply because I get along with everybody relatively well. A lot of people call me their best friend yet I don't think I'm entitled to such honors ;3

So thanks, Chase. I credit you and this particular article from months of headaches (and quite possibly, my sanity). Keep up the good work - and it's a shame people don't listen to your relationship advice more.

Will be up and around the comments section - I hope to hear back!

- Joseph