Great article. I wish I would have read this sooner.
I live in Las Vegas and about 8 months ago started dating a girl that liked to party. Just how this article says she would have girls night a couple of times a week. This was okay with me, I trusted her not to do anything. I thought she was "different". She always came home to me. Constantly had guys texting her to hang out or go for drinks but paid little to no attention to them.
The relationship was rewarding, it was amazing for the first few months. Fun person to be with, great personality, never a fight or disagreement between us, sexual chemistry off the roof.
Then things started to get weird. She partied more then usual. She wouldn't come home few times a week. When I confronted her she just made up a casual excuse. This bothered me. I tried to put a stop to it and told her that this was too much partying and things were getting out of hand. We were in a relationship and she didn't need to be going out so much.
She dropped me without a care in the world. I gave chase just like the article says and I was in the "Whirlwind of Chaos" stage. I begged her to work things out, remember all we've done, I just wanted to be together again. I was in the scarcity mindset. She pulled away even more. After a couple weeks of me trying to "win" her back I found out she was already seeing someone else. She had so many options that all she had to do was reply to one text message and find someone to keep her company. This stung and still stings. But after talking with a few friends and reading this article I realized I was the one who made the mistake.
I initially met her while partying. I thought all girls party, I live in vegas, its normal. I kept telling myself not to get in a relationship with someone who goes out as much, but then my emotions took over and said no she can change. I still dated her and like this article says, tried to mold her to what I wanted. No wonder this didn't work out. Now I feel foolish and in the dumps. I committed and invested so much of my time and emotions into her, it really hurt towards the end when I got dumped. It is a learning experience and I had awesome times with this girl, I'd rather not go through that pain again. I'm currently picking myself back up off the floor and trying to keep my chin up. This article helped me with understanding that I have to pick the right girl for the role. I wish I would have read this sooner.
Thank you Chase