Every Girl Has a Type – Are You Hers… or Aren’t You? | Girls Chase

Every Girl Has a Type – Are You Hers… or Aren’t You?

Chase Amante

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are you her typeIn “The Ultimate Guide on How to Get a Girl Back”, Danny writes:

This really rings true right now, I have been flirting with a girl for a few months, getting to know her and building quite a bit of chemistry. She works at a coffee shop I go to work on my computer. She had a boyfriend at the time, we met, who was shitty, manipulative and distant. We talked a lot and as soon as they broke up we said we should hang out, texted and flirted a lot more than previously, but she was always aloof about hanging out. In an attempt to show here I was not the kind of shitty guy she had been dating, I told her outright how I feel, that Im not the kind of guy to play games, or try and play the field, and she has been pulling back more. It seems like I came on to strong, and now she feels either disinterested or like she can have fun and Ill just sit there and wait.

In our last conversation, which did not go great (she didnt get mad, just wasnt as forward as normal) we actually talked frankly, said we were both interested in each other, but then she brought up just getting out of a relationship, always hanging out with friends etc. so, expressing both interest and disinterest at the same time

would be interested to hear thoughts.

That’s a crummy place to be in. Really no fun.

However, the scenario is amazingly common: you see a girl dating a guy that you know is just all wrong for her.

She complains about him, she hates him, she despises him. She breaks up with him, gets back together with him, then breaks back up with him again.

And a light bulb goes off: if you can just show her you’re different from him, she’ll be yours.

As soon as she realizes that you’re nicer, or cooler, or more considerate, or even sexier, this girl will jump from his branch to your branch.

Then you try it, and... it doesn’t work. She doesn’t get together with you.

You tear your hair out in frustration, but it doesn’t help. In the end, she starts dating another guy just like her ex, and your mind is blown. Doesn’t she realize he’s EXACTLY like that guy she just left whom she hates so much?

The reason this occurs is simpler than you might think, though: it isn’t because some mysterious force intervened, or the “timing wasn’t right”, or any of the myriad other reasons a girl will give you herself.

The simple fact is that she has a type... and you aren’t it.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Xeno's picture

I've been applying many of the principles and recommendations set forth on this site for two years and i've made massive gains with women by mostly improving my fundamental and becoming more socially aware. So, thank you, Chase! That said, this article is critical--it really addresses what i'm working on now.

I've been dating my current girlfriend for over 6 months. Unbeknownst to me, she had a crush on me before we started dating. We started dating and she fell in love with me despite the fact that she's much younger than me. But lately I can see that she's not as head over heels for me as when we started. The light in her eyes isn't quite as intense. The relationship is pretty stable. I'm a little less dramatic and more cerebral now. I listen to her problems and think them through with her. I'm pretty low maintenance. Despite her having gained more power in the relationship, i believe that she loves me.

But i'm thinking about what trajectory i'm on. I'm the clear leader in the relationship. But do i need to inject new energy into it? Could it be that my real type has emerged and its not as bad boy as she would hope? If I want to keep the relationship healthy, what needs to happen? Thank you.

David Riley's picture

Hey Xeno,

Check out the following article.

Long Term Relationships

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

People say that Pareto principle apllies to everything, maybe you could write article about 20% of seduction/social interactions mindsets that gives you 80% of success.

MT's picture

I would love this, too.
There are always those things that have the craziest returns that one wouldn't expect. Not linear.

Zac's picture

Your humble demeanour makes me motivated, inspired. Very profound. Ridiculous amount of work ethic you put in. This is accuracy at its finest.

Stretch to other areas of life like relationship with employer and employee, as example.


Xander's picture

Hi Chase,
This article is very important for me. I have been talking to a lot of girls, but I always had dilemma about something: how much men should be girls type, to be enough for dating and sex? Does that mean if girl finds two guys similar to her type (and both are sexy, charming,...) the one who is more similar will be boyfriend candidate, and the other who is less similar will be lover candidate? Spoken on the other way how mych type is important for lover candidacy and dating life? I have seen low quality girls looking for mid-quality guys, who are loud, drink alcohol,... I don’t know if they want them as lovers or providers? And I have seen quality women who are realy in relationship with uneducated guys and use them as providers. So quality guys finish last. Is type crucial for dating life? And how can we figure out for what is girl looking if we are first time talking to her? Can we use deep diving?
I know this is a lot of questions. I have read article but I want to make myself clear some parts that I don't understand.
Thanks again,

David Riley's picture

Hey Xander,

One should strive to be a lover because once you sleep with a girl she's fairly attainable at that point. Women think of lovers a lot more often than their boyfriend candidates. Even if the boyfriend candidate is the overall better quality man. Women respect men who can move fast. The faster you move with a girl and faster you sleep with her the better off youll be.

Take care,

Just Dave

Michal's picture


I have hard time getting my head around it really because it a contradicts certain things you guys mention here.

Everyone has certain core identity and personality, they have couple of deep drilled values like being honest, working hard or that noone will talk shit about them, ever - for example. And no matter what happens, they stick with them. I am sure peole want to become better people or better said, better them as Elliott Hulse kept saying, becoming strongest version of himself.

As you go out and interact with people, you self-reflect and develop new characteristics that in the end change your personality. Because, as I believe, you can frontload only couple of your basic characteristics at a time and those define you in the eyes of those you interact with. Therefore, becoming a better leader makes you less submissive so automatically, girls that are not into the leader type will now not like you that much. Leadership is probably bad example, maybe being dominant is better but I think there are still some characteristics that correlate with each other like dominance and persistance - if you are dominant, you will do everything in your power to make it go your way but if you are the most persistent person ever, then you probably achieve the same thing when someone looks at it from outside. You want her to go with you so you keep asking.

Point is, you change in order to be more attractive, to have better options. Because as you keep saying, this is all just a skill and we can train ourselves to be more attractive to women, more flirty, sexy etc.

And if your personality sucks (like being negative), then you have to change it in order to be more attractive. So you follow articles on this site and it shapes you but your core values, principles should stay, right? But if we look at it, we have these principles for a resason. I mean, I thought taking advantage of women is wrong but is it really? When I read how they will thank you for being there for them and then go sleep with those bad boys (which happened to me a lot), why not take the chance? Of course it could have consequences, destroy your friendship or doom any possible future or something.

Also, you linked that queen/whore article to it. I know you could just use the "you will get it with more experience" but how do you really see she is a "Q" or "W"? When are starting out, this is a technique basically, you are assuming what she is. She is dressed stylishly? -> queen, so treat her like a whore and since you dont have enough experience you will probably have no idea what happened.

It just makes me believe you either pick a technique like this one Q/W and use it for some time untill you can tell which girl is which and then pick another tactic like push-pull. Some of these methods (like that Queen/Whore one) will make you come across in a certain way (body languge, how you talk, what you say, show interest level). Or you will just go out like you did and try to figure it out on your own.

This concept is based around finding the girls that are your type while you are their type. However to get them, you need to employ certain behaviour. So moving fast can be offputting for those girls that would actually like you if you just were "you". I mean, a year ago, when I was on a date I was like "gotta move fast, quick, engage in sexual topics" while I could have just led the conversation to some other topic.

In many articles you first and formost suggest guys to up their fundamentals, that is probably what makes women attracted to you. Then, be romantic and it makes her more attracted if she likes romantic guys. But then you have your personality, in one article some other autor (I think J.J.) mentioned that part of your fundamentals is your mental model. And if your philosophy (for example) is that women are enemies then it makes you resentful or bitter towards them which affects your personality.

I understand that they are called fundamentals for a reason. And if we were to apply it on girls then being slim, curvy, proportional body, great, hairstyle, being well-dressed ups your chances to find a guy. Of course someone likes different hair color, eye color or how much jewellery she wears etc but I still think there are some shared attractive traits that girls will be attractive to majority of guys.

And back to us, dont we all want that? To have as many options as possible? And if you dont have that many options, is it because you lack your fundamentals like body language, style? Or your personality like being more sexual or is it your believes that lack, like believing girls are either sluts or madonnas?

At the end of the day, if people have different types, then it is basically all about first knowing what type you want and then becoming the type that this particular type likes, right?


Anonymous's picture

What I take away from this article is: "minimize effort by not wasting time on girls that aren't all that into you." What alot of guys don't realize is that most girls just won't be that into them...they think that there is some magic red pill that they can take and BAM success. But it pays to think about what it is you really want from a woman in the abstract. Before you even find any concrete/actual women to pursue, ask and KNOW what it is you want her to do with/to you once you already have her. Alot of guys waste time thinking they want a certain kind of girl and turn themselves into men such girls would be attracted to only to find out after the fact that those girls are not all that appealing. Happened to me with club/party girls.

And another thing is while TV and movies like to showcase love stories, any scripted story is only a minuscule snapshot of the infinity that is reality. For example, many times in movies/tv shows the generic love story plot is: guy likes girl, guy is a dufus, guy somehow magically wears girl down and she stops liking her bad boy lover, girl now likes guy, and movie ends. But the movies don't show you that there are billions of women out there, and each woman has their own unique personalities, desires, norms, worries, fears, pasts/histories, preferences and so on. Some women turn love/romance into a big deal. Others simply want to fuck and don't want men that waste time trying to "impress them." It's a BIG fucking world out there and movies/tv don't even begin to scratch the surface of the vagaries of life. Some women will have a decent boyfriend but will still have sex on the side every now and then, just because. Some women act cold, barren, mean, bitchy at first, but deep down inside they're like little girly girls that have been battle-hardened.There are nerdy girls who act like princesses but have secret burning desires to be dominated. Sometimes the 'quiet' ones are the BIGGEST freaks. But the only way to know that is to be a lover of women...eager to get to know them and to give them good feelings.

The problem with women though is that most are never really 100% clear on anything that they do or feel when it comes to romance. A girl might just want to have sex (and be real horny) but with most girls you can't just come out and overtly tell them hat you want to have sex with them -- then they feel dirty or not all that special. But if you move too slow on those same girls then you lose them. Middle ground is the approach...but that's what makes seduction in America hard because it takes time to finesse your game to a polished middle ground approach. And sometimes you just have to throw out everything you've practiced because a girl might want to go RIGHT NOW and wasting time gaming her will only frustrate her.

So many guys are confused. Just the other day a 66 year old dude told me that the way to get to women is to make sure to impress them, ALOT. I told him it's possible to get with a girl without her even knowing your full name, much less what college you went to. He doesn't believe me. But alot of guys are using the flawed mental models that tv/movies perpetuate...that the submissive nice guy routine actually is the most effective routine around. Some girls might need to be impressed with credentials and so on, but other girls already knew they wanted you inside of them from the moment you smiled at them. That's what this 66 year old dude doesn't seem to understand. But the bad boys who get the most women already know that most women out there (that are interested in what you might have to provide them) respond strongly to confidence, a man with a plan/purpose, and boldness, FUN, persistence, and sexiness. Period. Women say one thing, and do another. Women will sometimes say "you can come over but we won't have sex." But things get really hilarious when you see the look on their face after you tell them (whilst inside of them of course) "I thought you said we weren't having sex :P" But i digress. I like your site man. Cool stuff.

The only way to learn is to get out there and meet various women and to be bold with your intentions without worrying too much if she gets offended at your sexuality. Sometimes you have to be subtle/witty, other times you have to be overt. You can never really know exactly what to say/do until it's time to do it. And regardless of how much women might protest at the following thought, heterosexual men and women are designed to have sex, and this dating shit, TO ME, is mostly just alot of civilized pomp-and circumstance. If you listen closely to your body, it knows when it wants to have sex with someone and when it doesn't. Personality is really what makes you want to keep a girl around after sex, plain and simple. This might not be politically correct to state on feminized television, but it doesn't make it false. No matter her college degree, her roles at work, her bank account, her personality is what will make you FEEL.

Women are enamored with the bad boys because those guys are sexual and not AFRAID of being rejected and they seem to operate in a way where their MO is to persistently intoxicate certain women with the thought and feelings of passion. Those guys know exactly what to say to press women's buttons... But the problem arises when the bad boy realizes that a new woman isn't as interesting as he hoped or even if she is interesting he just can't be compelled to stop seducing new women. Old habits die hard. Previous paramours will still want more good feelings...feelings that nearly no one in our hyper-individualistic society makes them feel. Good feelings are the light and women are the moth.

Cool stuff.

Willy's picture

Hey Chase,

You mention that you can be like the ex boyfriend and play out the relationship she had just to have sex with her once or twice. I understand the reasoning behind it. Two questions about this:

1- You said in a different article (about how to get a girl who has a boyfriend) that you want to be the opposite of the boyfriend. Is this because the girl who has a boyfriend doesn't want two of the same guy? Is that why this works when the girl doesn't have a boyfriend?

2- If you do become like the girl's previous ex, let's say a callous philanderer, will the girl be attracted to you because A) she wants to correct or fix things because she sees this as a second chance in the same situation? Or is it because B) she's just subconsciously attracted to those kind of guys?

I'm asking because if her last bf was a callous philanderer, and he did something awful or traumatic to her, couldn't this all backfire?

If the reason is A), then she may not want to go through a similar experience. But if it's B), even if something really bad happened in the relationship, she'll still be drawn to these kind of guys.

Thanks and this was a great read!


David Riley's picture

Hey Willy,

1. Women often times want men who are exciting. If a woman is looking for another man, she wants an exciting man. She has become bored with her current boyfriend. Making yourself look as a lover will make you come off as more interesting to her.

2. It really depends on the circumstance you can imitate some characteristics while still being refreshing. It's more like subconsciously attracted to those type of guys. Yes, women are lead by their emotions. If can take them years before they finally stop chasing "bad" boys. If they ever end stop chasing men they can't obtain.

Hope that helps.

Take care,

Just Dave

MenMenMenManlyMenMen's picture

Hi Chase, could get a post on
how not to let words affect you ; or worse, ruin your life.

I've been struggling with this problem for a while.
It would be awesome if you could get an article on it. Otherwise, a detailed reply
would be great as well.

David Riley's picture

Hey Men,

I will let Chase and the other authors know about your request. For clarification purposes, are you asking about people talking down to you? Or not taking things too personally?

Just Dave

MenMenMenManlyMenMen's picture

I would say a bit of both.
It's more about not taking anything personally from
people who are trying to get you down through words.

I know one of the solutions is " ignore them " but it reveals to
be quite hard for some types of people with fragile and sensible personalities.
So yeah, I would like to see an article addressing those points accompanied
with solutions.

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